On the last episode of 'The Real World', we heard Wren ask Wes "Why are you looking at me like that, and not saying anything?" Let me answer that question for you Wren -- because there's nothing going on upstairs, when he's looking at you, at that point in time.. or anytime, for that matter!
Brrrrring... Brrrrrrring... Brrrrrring. Wes answers the phone and hears the (by now, very familiar) recording of a voice that states: "This is a collect call from the Travis County Hoosegow, where we are holding your pal, 'Nerher-majiah-ra' for ransom." "So if you want him back," the voice goes on to say, "you're going to have to... click .. If you want to make a call, hang up and try your call again....boop... booop beeeeep, If you want to make a..."
Poor Nehemiah must have let the best of Austin get the best of him again. The roomies wonder what to do about Nehemiah being in jail. If it wasn't for the work on the documentary, they probably would just leave him there to rot, but since they know they are on a show that documents every move and decision they make, they try to act like they care. Danny does this by actually going down to the jailhouse, and looks sadly at the brick wall that holds his friend, Nerher-majiah-ra, somewhere inside.
Danny: "He's a really tough kid, and you know, doesn't take any crap from anybody, and probably just snapped and just went off at the wrong place, at the wrong time kinda deal again." "Basically, I know I'm not gonna get him out tonight but I just wanna go and just so he knows that somebody was there tryin to get him out, somebody does care about him."
A side note here: Is it me or does Danny's Bostonian accent have some kind of psycho babble intertwined in it? Listening to Danny talk, to me, is like listening to a German man speak pig Latin. I have to have my closed captioning on, just to be able to figure out what he's saying, because all I hear is "Rabble, Babble, Babble." "Happa, Raddle, Dabble." Never mind, it's probably just me....
Danny gets back to the house, and informs everyone that Nehemiah got into a 'confrontation', and assaulted somebody, and it's gonna take somewhere between $2,000 and $5,000 to get him bailed out. He then babbles on that he may be in the slabble er, slamma, for the next 30 days!
Rachel: "I hate to bring this up, but we have a premier presentation in less than a week."
The next day, Danny informs everyone that Nehemiah is facing thousands of dollars in fines, and a year in prison. Great, now how are they going to finish the documentary? Well, here comes the production crew (known as Bunim-Murray), to the rescue. Didn't they call this show The Real World? OK, so the roomies employer's are generous, and come to Rescue our Rowdie Roomie from the clutches of Texas Justice.
They let Nehemiah out of jail. Nobody is there to pick him up. But does he care? No! He's just glad to be out of his "five foot jail cell, and a bed so hard you can do pushups on it." He walks back to the house with visions of a bed with blankets, and a fluffy pillow to ease his pain.
Johanna and Melinda greet him at the door with a hug and a grin, while Lacey greets him with a "Paul wants you and me and Rachel, to call him, after you shower and wash off the entrails of the Travis County Jail Cooties off of you."
Wes wants to know what happened. "What were you thinking?" Wes asks. Like Wes does a lot of thinking himself.
Nehemiah tells Wes that he was just minding his own business, and was at the 'Best Worst Bratwurst' (hot dog stand), got in a conversation with the vendor person, and was accused of cutting in line. "I was trying to politely tell the other people, how I just wanted to talk to the bratwurst guy." Push came to shove..... came to slap, came to smack em down, and Nehemiah wrapped up the situation by.... (yep, you guessed it) drop kicking the bratwurst man right over I-35!
Nehemiah goes back downtown, to find the bratwurst guy in an effort to apologize to him for smackin him down.
Bratwurst guy: "I was just trying to help you and ended up on the other side of the highway, in East Austin."
He then goes back to the house, and starts working on the documentary, as the rest of the roomies 'go out'. He finds himself alone again, working on the project that they are all supposed to be involved with, but he welcomes the silence, and rejoices in it. After all, it's much quieter than the 'room' he stayed in last night.
Our next scene takes us down to 6th street, where the other six strangers are partying like it's 1999, and zooms in on Wes, as he is, well, it's hard to describe what he's doing, or how he's dancing, and still keep this summary 'PG'.
Now the roomies are back home after a night of drinking and partying like it's the last night of their life, and we see an absolutely pickle-brained Wes staggering around, like he's just been clobbered with the stupid tree. Honestly, he's stumbling around like he just got off a train wreck, and left his head in the caboose. He walks backwards and finds his way into the girls' closet, closes the door behind him. We hear a CRASH, then see him tear the door off of the tracks, and swagger backwards over to the bed, mumbling about how everything seems to be in his way.
Lacey asks him if he is "going to be sick? Or just going to be drunk?" She doesn't realize how pickled his one brain cell is, and can just watch in horror, as he bumps into walls, and picks up things, looks at them, and tries to figure out what they are.
Rachel gets home, and wants to use the phone before she goes to bed, but finds Wes in the "phone room," with the phone held to his empty head, trying to download something.... anything! Nothing is happening, and can only stand there with the receiver to his ear, listening to some lovely beauty tell him "If you want to make a call, please hang up and try again..."
Well..... this don't fly with Rachel, who only wants to make a 2 minute call back home to her beloved, love of her life -- yeah, right -- boyfriend.
Nehemiah tells Rachel "Don't tell Wes how long he can use the phone." Rachel flips off Nehemiah and utters some insulting sounds, Danny utters some German Pig Latin, Lacey grows snakes from her head that strike the air in front of her, and things start to get out of control.
Wes' brain has downloaded something from the ringtones he's heard from the phone, and tells Rachel, "If you stick your finger up at my friend again, I'll slap the bleep (who knows...whatever) out of you!"
Wes' confessional: "I honestly, if I did slap her... It doesn't matter, cause I wasn't there. I would like to say 'I was there', but maybe I wasn't there, who knows... I don't remember."
The next day the roomies wake Wes to show him all the things he broke, including the closet door, the coffee table, the pool table, and our own resident neon "Big Tex."
Wes: "I didn't do that. Just because I was drunk, doesn't mean you guys can blame me for trashing the house."
Melinda: "Look how you broke the closet door."
Wes : "No, I didn't do that."
Lacey : "Look what you did to the coffee table."
Wes : "No, that wasn't me."
Melinda: "Oh, just some other red headed drunk stepchild we have to live with, you came out of the closet like an intoxicated Godzilla!"
"AND...... you slapped Rachel!"
Wes doesn't remember coming home last night, much less trashing the house, and slapping Rachel.
Wes apologizes to Rachel, who confessionals that she doesn't have the energy to spass out on him -- this time. Maybe she'll wait till next week to spass out, I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Wes and Nehemiah decide to go shopping and get 'pimped up' with tuxedo's for their 'Premier Presentation' of their documentary. When they walk back in the house with Tuxedo's on, Lacey immediately recognizes them as 'Dumb and Dumber'.
Arriving at the Premier, and getting out of the Limo, with canes in hand, David greets them..... with a "You guys look like Dumb and Dumber!"
Paul greets them with "You guys look, um.... intesting..."
The roomies then present their 'Documentary' to the audience. The premier shows. We don't get to see it, but for all those that want to see all the hard work that was put into it, can go to www.overdrive.mtv.com
Next week it will be their last week in the house. How will the roomies spend their last days in Austin? Will anybody else get thrown in jail? Will Rachel spass out again? Find out next week on..... The Real World, Austin!