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The Real World: Austin - Episode 5 Summary

' It's All About The Hook Up!' By volsfan
Original Airdate: July 19, 2005

The beginning of this award winning series has Rachel carrying a box looking for scissors. The box is from Erik, her boyfriend back home and it is all wet and smelly (the box not the boy). The box contains melted ice cream. Should I just call it cream? Numbnuts sends his girlfriend ice cream through the mail…snail mail! This idiot has found his mental match in Rachel! However, Rachel informs us that they are on a break because she wants to be able to go out and have fun. It is all about Rachel after all.

We, Nehemiah, Jo and Rachel go out dancing and Wes informs us that he meets 40-50 girls a night and they throw themselves at him. Dood, if you meet 50 girls a night you will meet every single woman in Austin in like 3 weeks! The women look to be talking with you but I haven’t seen one touch you much less throw themselves on you.

Wes and Nehemiah determine that a competition is in order. They decide it is time to see who hooks up with the most girls. Look to me like the first one to hook up will win as I don’t see either of them being playas.

Rachel brings home a hottie that works as a bouncer at one of the clubs. I don’t know what it is but sometimes I feel like a box-o-meter came with my gaydar. But Colin (the bouncer) looks to be hung like a horse. How YOU doin stallion?

Nehemiah and Wes have started a groupie drawer. A drawer full of papers with numbers on them and the guys don’t remember what the girls looked like. The guys start dialing numbers and asking the girls to come over and get in the pool. Lacey tells them that one of the girls didn’t sound like the brightest stars. Good thing because these guys aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. They may be tools but I don’t think sharp best describes them.

The dyed blonde whores show up with beer to party while Wes and Nehemiah just set around and look at each other. These two guys have to be virgins because I have made more moves on women than they have and I am as queer as a football bat!

Rachel and Colin are kicking it at one of the clubs and Rachel brings him home. Rachel decides she will get him in bed and just play around. She makes him take off his shoes. Oh good grief; we are shown birds and bees flying around with 80’s porn music playing in the background. * rolls eyes * Why do I think we will see Rachel in knee pads in the next scene?

The next night Colin goes out with Rachel. They go to a sushi place and Rachel is so excited because all her relationships start with kissing, sex and then boyfriend/girlfriend. They go home and make out butt nothing happens. Can we say whore dog bitch slut 3 times really fast? This girl moves faster than Lance Armstrong!

Jo has made a bet with Wes that she gets to pick the hottest girl in the bar and Wes has 15 minutes to make out with her. If he doesn’t; Jo gets to pick an ugly one that he has to make out with. Jo picks the girl and she is with three friends. Wes goes over and says that he has to kiss each of them to determine which one gets to make out with him. Wes, you really have smooth moves! I think you should just walk up and ask, “wanna f*ck?” What does he have to lose?

Rachel decides to go see Colin at work and offer an apology for the short ending to their date the night before. However, one of Wes’ whores knows Colin and tells Wes that Colin has a girlfriend. So, Wes tells Rachel and she is now hell bent on seeing Colin. Rachel goes out and finds Colin rubbing all over a girl. Rachel comes home to call Erik and tell him that she really loves him! Good grief girlfriend…get a spine and realize that you don’t have to have a man by your side every step of the way.

The show ends with previews for next week with Danny hooking up with a girl in a bar…Mel is going to be urinated off!


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