We start this episode off with a shot over Town Lake to the east, towards downtown Austin. In our first shot of the realworlders, we catch them in bed. Query... Why are these people always in bed? Don't they have a living room? What about those cool hanging globe chairs we've seen, or the couch, or even the 'van sized' bean bag? Is there something in they're bedroom that draws them together there, opposed to the 'living space' over by the pool? Hmmm....
Johanna, Rachel, and Lacey, are lying in bed, and Danny has dumped himself in the girls room, with his bandage over his eye, to milk every ounce of pity from the girls he can.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" he's asked. "No, not really." he replies.
"Are you in pain?" he's asked? "Yes, very much pain!" he replies.
Danny: "I keep waking up in the middle of the night, and wondering if I'm gonna look the same." Lacy assures him he will still look the same.
Danny: "I don't want one eye to be like, downhill, like a little dead dog, you know? (enter picture of Marty Feldman here)
Danny goes on to say his dad (who is his best friend), is coming down. "He's always been there! The one who's held us all down." "I don't really have the best relationship with my mom."
In the confessional he says his mom was an alcoholic, and was never really at home...
OK... He's wore out Lacy, Rachel, and Johanna, so now he heads through the house towards Melinda's locale. He stops by the fish tank, and by the looks of the sad expressions on the fishes faces, he's worked on the fishes nerves as well. Just LOOK at that sad expression on the fishes face!
Now in the room with Melinda, he tells her "I don't wanna be a disappointment." "You're not!" She replies. Danny: "I feel like one though." He goes on with Melinda with how he's worried about what his dad is gonna think, and how his family never dwells on anything. "Something happens... forget it, and move on!" he says.
Melinda consoles him, by telling him "I'll be your family, and I'll baby you, cause thats how I was brought up.
In the confessional, Melinda says "If I was in the situation that Danny is in, he'd take care of me. We DO have a connection, and I feel that no matter what happens... we'd both be there for each other. Danny is 'feeling the lvoe' by this time, and offers Melinda some Vicatin.....
OK... Johanna, Nehemiah, Rachel, Wes, and Lacey head for the bars on 6th street. After some partying, Rachel, who's inhibitions have left her about 3 drinks ago, tells Wes "I've shad muy Maximum arclohol content, withpout pash-ing out!"
Wes is wondering at this point, how he's ended up sitting next to this drunk 'hoosey'!
Meanwhile, 2 Austinite girls are laughing and pointing at Rachel, telling her how silly she looks, and ugly she is, which doesnt sit well with Rachel, who decides its time to DROP KICK THOSE GIRLS @§§ over INTERSTATE 35! Wes steps in, as Rachels hero, and confronts the mean girls, to the delight of Rachel. The 2 girls deny saying anything to the likes of "she's one ugly Miss Thang".... so Wes and Rachel leave the situation.
But now the damage is done -- Wes is now Rachels hero!
Rachel in confessional: "Wes is rising rapidly in who I think is My one and Only. I'm more attracted to him by the second, as the night goes on....."
Wes in confessional: "There is absolutely no Interest between me and Rachel. My heart, soul, and all my body parts are for Johanna alone, and am looking forward to hooking up with her.
They arrive back home where Wes professes his lvoe to Johanna to Johanna's friend, Courtney, on the phone. Courtney tells Wes that Johanna likes to play hard to get, so be ready for THAT! Wes says "Dont tell her you told me that, cause I'm gonna use that."
Ummmm, didnt we hear Wes at some point say he was 'better' at playing games?
Danny's dad arrives, and Danny shows his dad pics of the 'incident', and points to all his broken bones.
"This is broken..... and this is broken..... and this.... and this.... and this.... "
"People aint nice here!" he tells his dad.
"It wasnt a 'square' fight! Thats what sucks about it," he says.
He then insists 'dad' feel his pain, by guiding his dads hand all over his face where the war wounds are.......
They then go eat at "Buffalo Wild Wings Grill and Bar".... where Danny and his dad talk 'bout things......
Later on, Wes, Rachel, Lacey, and Johanna go out. Rachel decides the time is right to make a move on Wes. 'It's now or never' she thinks.... so she does her little hip rub, which is supposed to turn Wes on, but instead, it annoys him no end, and confessionals "Rachel's aggressiveness is not something I find sexy. She's trying to meet guys in completely the wrong way."
Wes talks for a minute to Lacey about this annoying Miss Thang, and declares his hormones are only for Johanna. "There's not many girls in the army, so she's used to guys throwing themselves at her."
Wes continues to tell Lacey, he only goes for guys girls like Johanna! "Johanna is like the kind of girl I've never been with and I think that she could teach me a lot on not only an emotional level, but a physical one as well!" "I'm gonna do it!"
Wes then confronts Johanna and tells her "I'm drunk right now, so I can be truthful, right?" ...... "I like you" he blurts out... "I'm not sorry I told you.... but I'll be sorry in the morning!" Ohhhh boyyyy..... he got that one right.....
On the drunken trip back to the house from 6th, Lacey plays 'mom' to the rest of the drunken fools, as they stagger down San Jacinto Blvd, and the sidewalk, ....and San Jacinto... and the sidewalk...... and....
Lacey: "Go forward" "Straight" "Turn" "Stop" "Go" in an effort to keep the housemates from getting run over.
"Focus" she yells at the wayward souls. "Go Inside now"
Once inside, Wes staggers to the kitchen, looking like he's on a sailboat, in a wild storm, staggering from wall to wall, as if the house was rocking.
Wes manages to the kitchen, where he finds a sober Nehemiah, and talks about how he tried to hook up with Johanna, just to be shot down. Nehemiah then tells Wes that he doesnt need to be hooking up with Johanna. Will Wes listen to the voice of reason? Does Wes even hear the voice of reason, as he staggers around the kitchen, looking for more alcohol?!!
Danny becomes nervous Norvus the morning of his surgery, and mistakenly uses Nehemiah's toothbrush, instead of his own. "That's ok" says Nehemiah, "I'll just burn my toothbrush, and everything will be okay now."
Now we get to see Danny in a hospital gown. Danny doesnt like his new 'look' and says "I must really look tough in something like this."
Danny is poked with a needle, hooked up to some tubes, wired to the monitors, and goes into LaLa land, as Melinda wonders if she'll ever see Danny again. The scene ends with Danny being wheeled off down the hallway and the closing of the surgery doors sliding back closed.
After surgery, we see Danny coming back through the surgery doors up the hallway. Danny's jaw is open, his arm is hanging off the side of the bed, his eyeball is hanging out of its socket, a round sawblade is protruding out of his head, and the doctors are shaking their heads in dismay.......
OK... OK.... he's fine! Considering he went through such a head surgery, he looks better than I would though!
As he comes out of his coma, Melinda and 'dad' notice he is moving his hand. Is he trying to communicate, they wonder? Does he want a glass of water? An aspirin, maybe?
Once he is able to communicate, they ask him how he feels. Danny replies "Like I just swallowed a Christmas tree."
Melinda then asks Danny if he is ready to do some 'body shots' with her.
Melinda reports back to the RW house, how Danny is doing in the hospital, and everyone decides its time to party.
Going to 'The Dizzy Rooster', Johanna decides she is all for the 'bartender'. She says "Its not love at first sight, its like, WHOA, attraction at first sight." She then wants 'Leo, the bartender' to take a body shot of me. Or on me, or something like that..... hmmmm.
Meanwhile, Wes, watching from the sidelines, decides he doesnt like this situation one bit. Nope nope nope! He idly stands by and glares his dissatisfaction as 'Leo, the bartender' slurps up shots off of Johanna's tummy.
When they get back to the house Wes talks to Nehamiah about his dismay over Johanna.
Nehemiah informs Wes that he better get used to the fact that he's not gonna hook up with Johanna while he's here. "You got a better chance of hooking up with Rachel." he tells Wes.
Nehemiah goes on to tell Wes that the same attention she's giving you...... she's giving ME "It's not a factor.... It's just the kind of person she is!" Wes decides he is all for games when he makes the comment "She wants to play games.... ok, fine.... I'm better at them"
Yaaaaaa , right...
Our last scene focuses on Melinda, and 'dad' going to the hospital to pick up Danny.
Melinda says: (with a disheartened tone)
"He's not supposed to go to the gym....."
"He's not supposed to go in the pool...."
"He's not supposed to have sex.........."
"I can try to hold out.... but its not easy"
OHHHhhhhh puhleeze Luuueeze! Poor Melinda. What's a girl to do?
Next week.... Does Danny get better? Does Melinda kiss Wes? Does Johanna hook up with 'Leo the bartender'?
Tune in and find out on .... The Real World: Austin!