Previously on The Real World, everyone went out every night, got drunk, slept all day, rinse and repeat. The Real Worlders complain about every tiny thing that gets in the way of this routine. Here comes another episode of complaining.
This episode begins where it should…a bar. Wes is paranoid as he was with Wren dancing but left her to get a drink. Wes meets some skank and she buys him a shot and then kisses him. Wes is all bent out of shape as he relays the event to Danny. Danny says Wes should smahtin up.
NOTE TO WES: Yes, please take Danny’s advice and smahtin up! Wes, you are almost as delusional as the fiendship and the final two in the Big Brother house. PATHETIC!
Back bar and Wren tells Wes that she isn’t upset and that is no big deal. Wes says, “But it is a bid deal!”
ANOTHER NOTE TO WES: Dood, are you kidding me? Men do too many things to urinate off women but when she says every thing is ok…DROP IT! I say keep your mouth shut and keep kissing women until she tells you to knock it off.
On the walk back to the house Danny suggests to Wes they need to go out together and have one long night of sweaty man sex. Danny says he is tired of living with/being married to Mel.
NOTE TO AUTHOR: Keep your man crush of Danny and your wet dreams out of this summary because the others don’t want to hear about it.
At the house Mel goes over and whispers to Danny, “Let’s go have sex!” Danny replies, “no, I am going to have pizza and beer, I don’t want to hear that right now.”
NOTE TO DANNY: Danny my friend, you just dropped a rung on my likeness ladder. What 20 something year old male chooses beer and pizza over a roll in the hay? Hell, the worst sex I ever had was pretty good! Also, pizza is really good cold.
The next morning the housemates leave for a prearranged camping trip. However, before leaving we hear that Wes is hung over and doesn’t want to get out of bed, ride in a car, get on a horse, and eat food or breath.
NOTE TO WES: Yo dumbass…why did you even bother applying to be on this show if you didn’t want to experience new people, places and things?
They arrive at Rancho Cortez where their chaperone Larry shows them around. They go out back and Larry shows them the horses they will be riding and Mel wants to know if they can make the horses gallop, as she knows how to ride a horse. (Why did we know that Mel knew how to ride a horse? Or maybe she isn’t good at riding horses and that is why Danny chose pizza and beer.)
All of them seem to really enjoy the horse riding and are high fiving each other. Wes and Danny joke around about robbing a train.
That night they gather around a camp fire and Larry wants to sing them a song. He says he is going to sing Spurs That Jingle Jangle Jingle. Danny says he knows the song and likes it.
NOTE TO DANNY: I wouldn’t admit to liking this song as Mel may not make your spurs jingle jangle jingle again after you chose the pizza and beer
Later on Mel and Danny have a heart-to-heart about where they are in their relationship. Mel says it feels right for them to be together and Danny agrees but wonders if they are moving too quickly. (Is Danny part of the bootie patrol or something? Why does he keep trying to second-guess this whatever he wants to call it relationship?)
Larry arrives at 6:30am to make sure they get up and ready to help him with farm chores. Everyone seems to be pissed at having to get up with Wes proclaiming this will be the worst day ever. Lacey says she is in hell.
NOTE TO LACEY: Finally, I agree with something you have said! Yes, we are in hell and you are sitting to the right of the throne in a white robe with red letters across the chest that reads “Satan’s Secretary”!
The complainers are not happy when they discover they have to remove poop from the fenced area around the barn. Larry starts a crap fight…literally as he starts flinging poop at them as they work. Danny asks Larry if he can write home to tell everyone he shoveled sh!t all day. Larry says no but you can write home and tell them you know your sh!t!
NOTE TO LARRY: Can you please go back to Austin and live with these idiots? You have been a breath of fresh air.
Danny, Wes and Nehemiah are in the hot tub and Wes says he realizes he doesn’t have that much with Wren and he is going to break it off. Danny says that he likes being around Mel 95% of the time but there is 5% of the time he would like to go out and see what’s out there.
NOTE TO WES: I doubt if Wren is going to care whether you even tell her you are breaking up with her. I don’t think she takes you too seriously anyways.
NOTE TO DANNY: Who the hell wouldn’t love to have one at home but allowed to get some strange every now and then? Somebody needs to grow up and take responsibilities.
Back to Austin and Mel on the phone with a friend. She tells her friend that the song (Spurs That Jingle Jangle Jingle) is about a cowboy that wants to be a playa. She said that Satan’s Secretary told her that she overheard Danny telling Wes he (Danny) had spurs that jingle jangle jingle.
NOTE TO READERS: WTF business is it of Satan’s Secretary what Danny tells Wes? Furthermore, what did she think she would accomplish by telling Mel? This woman is evil!
Danny goes to Mel and has the balls to ask her what is bothering her (It’s you numbnuts). She tells Danny that it is hard for to hear him say he has doubts about them. She says she doesn’t want him to feel like she is holding him back from enjoying himself in Austin. Danny says he is afraid of losing her but he needs to figure out why he is in Austin. He asks…what next? She tells him he has a lot to figure out and walks out the door.
OMG! I think Mel is acting like and adult and appears to be fairly smart dealing with this type of stuff. Good for Mel!