Paul and David come over to the Real World house to see how the roomies are doing on their documentary project.
Did you guys see what I saw. Is it me? Or did Paul play flirty eyes with Wes? Never mind, must just be me....
Paul: "So if you were to tell me what you think is the best stuff you filmed was, what do you think it was?"
Melinda says she liked when we trekked to Camp Primitive to film 'Hello-Goodbye.' Remember they are the one's who sang 'Oh, It is Love' ... strummed on a banjo, and sang about holding hands, putting flowers in your hair, and love in San Francisco.
Paul: "The campsite thing sounds absolutely Fabulous."
He then asks about other bands, including Enon. Nehemiah remarks "We did and interesting interview with them." Interesting? The only thing interesting thing about them was their name, which means nothing, and was made up in a moments notice because they couldn't think of anything else.
Paul asks Wes "What was your favorite stuff, big boy."
Wes says "By far, it was when Halifax was playing on stage, and I was right below them, and they dripped and slung blood, sweat, and beers all over me and the camera!"
"Ohhh, you mean you could see the sweat dripping on the cameras? OooOoººoo, that sounds interesting."
Wes then smirks, and states "Thats sick, I know, but I like it, and I can tell by the look in your eyes, You like that too, Don't you?"
Ok, ok, maybe he didn't say ALL that, but a look says a thousand words... Paul then wraps up the meeting by telling them to edit their "25 hours of film nonsense into something worthy of wasting 15 minutes of my time on."
Time to get to work!
Wes Confessional: "This is a great catalyst for another job in the future so Nehemiah knows he needs to do a good job so I can sleep all day and party all night." "I can honestly say I'm gonna have a 1% role in the editing process, and my duty will be to fill everybody's drinks, say HI to people, and smile and just be my pretty little self."
Nehemiah gets to work on the 'Documentary,' and Wes has no difficulty talking everyone else out of contributing anything to it.
"After all," says Wes "There's only one seat, one mouse, one computer, one keyboard, and only one person with a brain in this place, so lets let Nehemiah fill that role, and do the computer stuff, and we can work at doing what we know we can do best!"
Which takes us to our next scene. At the bar, with none other than Wes and Danny hoisting beers up to some girls dancing on some platform.
Um..... I would go into this scene with more detail, however, in keeping up the good standards of this site, I have decided that this scene is definitely not PG. I looked on the rating guide, and it says this show is rated 'TV-14' whatever that means, but I have decided, after I saw the way those girls accidently spilling 8 beers on themselves, 'TV-14' is definitely not PG.
Moving on..... Paul, Jenn, and David view the 'work' Nehemiah has done, and after the video ends, and David wakes up Wes, and Danny, and Paul sits shaking his head, and wonders how it has come to this.
Lacey: "I think Paul, Jenn, and David are very frustrated with the assembly that Nehemiah has put together, because it has absolutely no substance, and is just 15 minutes of nothing!""It could have been horses in the pasture, and it would have been better than the horsehockey Nehemiah put together."
Well, I got news for you Lacey. If you, OR ANY OF YOU would have been more involved with the project and not left all the editing to Nehemiah, maybe it wouldn't have come to this.
Jenn, the other boss, speaks up and says, "Where are the characters? The characters are gone. Didn't I tell you guys [reference Episode 12] that this is supposed to be a documentary? And document who the people are, and not just what they play?" "I've got freaking music videos!"
Jenn is not happy at this point, and to show how unhappy she is, she grimaces, starts talking backwards, screams like a banshee, and drop kicks Laceys @§§ over I-35!
Our next scene in this episode, is of the bat flight over the Congress Street bridge. See all those bats? If you look closely enough, you will see Lacey flying through the air, right above the bats, on her way to I-35!
OK, enough of that nonsense......
Nehemiah decides to take a break from the documentary work, and see how the other roomies will fare in there plight to bring this project to an end. He goes out with friends from Austin and raps at one of the bars here in Austin, as Lacey does what she does best, and talks about what a horrible job Nehemiah did to their 15 minute film. Wes and Danny do what they know how to do best, and that is to sleep, and dream of girls, sweat, and beers.
Nehemiah comes home to see how the roomies are doing without him. Melinda and Danny are playing 'Twister' on the bed, Lacey is badmouthing everyone on the phone, and Rachel and Johanna are getting ready to 'go out.'
The next morning, Nehemiah gets up early to try to fake extensive, sleepless, and nonstop work on the project.
Meeting with the 'Austin Film Society'
Melinda: "I'm nervous about going to the Austin Film Society for a screening, because we are going to be critiqued by professionals."
The housemates show up at the screening for their project, after a few computer problems, talk with some of the bigwigs at the Film Center.
"Have you all been working hard, and diligantly, and staying up all night for this project?," one of the judges asks.
"Yeah, we worked all night and day, and did shifts," Wes replies.
"Yeah, I haven't even been to sleep yet," Nehemiah adds.
Oh, yeah, right, lets see how that's gonna fly...
They all sit through the mess they call a 'Documentary' about the bands and their members, and when the film is over they wait for critique. One by one, the film society members critique The Clueless 7.
"I thought that your work portrayed the festival itself, and not about the characters. I wanted to know more of the characters in the bands, not just the music and festivities."
One by one, the film society members say more or less the same thing... and yes, the same thing Paul, David, and Jenn have been telling them all along.
Does anybody reading this ever watch the Indenpendent Film Channel? Is it me, or do these guys just not get what a 'documentary' entails? Cause it looks like to me, these guys just don't get it.
Lacey thinks they are getting great feedback and "are not saying things like 'YOU STUPID IDIOTS, THIS IS AWFUL!'"
Well, Lacey, I got news. It was awful, and if you knew code, you would have read into what they said.
Back at the house, David says "Lets talk about the screening."
The seven strangers are really proud of all the hard work, sweat, and beers they have put into their work, and think they deserve a vacation. David, and Paul decide to send them on a vacation, staight to the Siberian Ice Mines, to work in hard labor camps for the rest of their tour as 'RealWorlders'!
However, after Lacey starts growing snakes from her head and threatens David with a Medusa spell, they think better of it.
"Lets just make 'em happy, so they'll just go away." says Paul.
The next morning, the RealWorlders find out they are going to none other than Costa Rica! They are very excited to get the news, and glad that the hard work they produced has finally paid off. Finally... they are going to get to relax, and have a good time, and do some partying. Can you see me shaking my head?
What will next week bring us? Will we be blessed, or blinded, with Caspers Wes' blurry behind? Find out next week on The Real World, Austin!