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The Real World: Austin - Episode 9 Summary

'Stop Playing with my Heart!' By batts
Original Airdate: August 16, 2005

We start this episode with Johanna and her boy toy 'Leo' walking through town. Leo wants to hold Johanna's hand, but Johanna does not want any of THAT! You never know where that hand has been girl!.... Johanna confesses she just wants to have a good time, not hold hands.

Back inside the house, Rachel is practicing on the camcorder, taking home movies of the fish tank. Lacy is there with her, and notices that one of the fish is looking a bit sickly, and says "Oh, man, that fish is dying!" OK.... If you see a fish hanging upside down in a fish tank, not moving, and it's skin is peeling off it's body, and other fish are eating it, I got news! That fish is worse than 'dying'.... Did somebody forget to feed the fish? Or did it just die of a broken heart from the events of the last 2 weeks?

Johanna confesses that there's more 'friend' chemistry right now, than 'I wanna jump your bones' chemistry, between her and Leo. "He grabbed my hand, and tried to WALK with me!" she tells her roomies. Rachel asks her "You didn't want to touch his hand?" Lacy asks her "You've already made out with him, you're gonna go stick your tongue in his mouth.... but you don't wanna touch his hand?" Ummmmm OoooooKayyyyy....

Wes and Johanna lay on the orgy bed having a conversation about Leo. Wes asks her "Why don't you wanna talk about Leo?" Johanna replies "Cause there's nothing to talk about." Now if ever there was a moment of attempted seduction, we have it here! We can see how Wes is trying to Woo Johanna's trust by asking her "So you don't ever even bother trying to trust a guy cause you automatically just think you can't?" He plays with her hair like its the golden fleece of Um Papa Mau Mau and coos the words in her ear that he thinks she wants to hear......

Later on, Leo calls the house and invites Johanna to dinner, but Johanna tells him "We have to work tonight, at the Club Deville." She tells him to meet her there, at her workplace, at 8:30.

They meet up with 'Jenn' who is the instructor/filmmaker for SXSW, who tells them that their job tonight is to film the band playing at the bar. 

What the heck kinda job is that... ANYBODY? Is it just me being bitter, or is this a job that is ... like ... in the REAL WORLD? Johanna's job is to hold the sound microphone for 2 hours while the band plays at the Club Deville!

Leo and Johanna are oogling each other the whole time, and Wes notices, of course, and doesn't like that AT all...

Wes: "Part of me wants Leo Lizard to DIE! He's doing more with her than I am, and I'm jealous of that!"

After 'work,' Rachel, Lacy, and Johanna go to the Hard Rock Cafe with Leo, while Melinda, Wes, and Nehemiah get stuck carrying the equiptment back to the vans. Wes tells them "I really miss Danny!"

Back at the house, Johanna and Leo continue their date, by sitting on the couch looking at each other. Rachel says she's "Super, super tired" and heads off to bed, leaving Wes standing there in front of Johanna and Lizard Leo, feeling clumsy and not knowing quite what to do.... He eventually kicks the air, and stomps away.

Lacey, being the super snoop she is and always will be, is watching Johanna and Leo from another room, on the camera system. "What the carp? Theyre sitting on the couch just looking at each other!"says Lacy. .... Well.... now isn't she just the little busybody? Talk about havin her nose in everyone's business!

Wes tells Lacy "Every girl in the house, oh, except for you, is playing games. Johanna is playing games with me...."

At this point, Wes is working himself up to a painful revenge plot, and bets Lacey five bucks he will be making out with Johanna within three weeks. Lacey tells him "You're on! I'm timing you, starting tomorrow!"

Wes goes on to tell Lacey that when Johanna DOES start falling for him, and tries to kiss him, he'll kiss her for ONE second, then ...... pull away, and walk away telling her "this is what you COULDA HAD!"  Oh Puleeeeze Louise! You gotta be kidding me! What kinda stud muffin does he think he is anyway?

The next night, Wes finds local Austinite 'Megan' who tells Wes "I'm gonna make you LIKE Austin, I guarantee you that!" Megan then proceeds to Rock his Real World on the dance floor, promising Wes a good time... for a tour of his Real World house.

Wes in Confessional: "Megan says she doesn't want to hold hands... she wants to hold something else, so I'm gonna take her back to my room to find out what she wants to hold..."

Ok..... are 'Megan's' mom and dad watching this show? I sure hope not, because once back to the Real World house, after a short tour, Wes and Megan end up in bed, and start attracting attention. The first one to witness some 'nasty bunny sex' is our resident busybody LACEY, who proceeds to run and tell the others in the house what she just witnessed.

Nehemiah looks in on them, and gives a thumbs up to Wes, saying "Thats My Boy!"

Johanna looks in on them and runs away screaming "EWWWWW!"

Back in the room, Johanna wonders if a condom was used, and Lacey proclaims.... "Ewww... she's just so gross!" Nehemiah says "Wes is NOT attractive! He got played! That girl was cute, actually.... for a Wes conquest!"

Poor Wes.... talk about someone thinking he's the creator's gift to all who looks at his utter beauty. What would he think if he knew the others were not laughing with him?

Our next scene is of Wes promenading through the house, in his birthday suit! Oh, My, Heck....... That boy needs some sun. It's like...... MY EYES MY EYES! Now I see what happens when you only have a nightlife, and never leave the house in the daylight. So... CASPER Wes goes waltzing from room to room in the house for all to see with nothing on but a smile. In the bathroom, the girls retreat in the stall next to the one CASPER Wes is using, giggling like little schoolgirls, when Wes confronts them. "Hey, hows it going?" he asks. Johanna doesn't have any fresh crisp $1 bills to tuck in the towel he hangs in front of him, so she hands him a rose, instead.

Back in the room, Megan is looking for her shirt. "This is Sooo embarrassing" she says.  Embarrassing, you say?  Ummmm wait'll your parents see you on T.V. sugar!

Wes escorts her to the front door, where he locks himself out.  Thank goodness he has that towel with him. Just a little side note.... he WAS out there for quite a while and talked to a few passer by's, trying to 'explain' his situation.

Once back in the house, the girls want to know why Megan left so suddenly.

"Why did she leave?" they ask.

"Cause I asked her," Wes replies.
'Do you want me to call you a TAXI?'" (thats brain cell depletion code for: "It's time for you to go")

The girls are rolling on the floor, laughing their @e off, and Wes doesn't get it, so he just assumes that they are laughing WITH him, and not AT him. The look on his face is a cross between perplexity, and naiveness.  Priceless......

Later, Wes asks Johanna if she thinks that what he did was wrong. "I met this girl, like 2 hours ago. Is that wrong?"

"No, not at all." Johanna tells him.

"So, you wont lose respect for me?" asks Wes.

"No, why would I lose respect for you?" replies Johanna.

"Cause you don't have sex with Leo." "So, you must be saving yourself for MEEEEE?" asks Wes.

Oh, Puleeeeze Louise! What? Here we go again.....

Johanna manages to hide her snicker from love stricken Wes. Poor Wes.... he just thinks he's ALL THAT, doesn't he? He just knows in his heart that he's the man! He then woo's Johanna, with a little 'smell my finger action' which Johanna doesn't appreciate. "Ewwwwww, I can smell Megan on that finger."
Wes looks at his finger, and wonders what the problem is....
Hmmmmmmm ..... (all together now.... EWWWWwwwww)

The next night they all go out to the bars where Johanna proceeds to play with Leo's heart some more.

Wes: "I wish that Johanna felt the same way about me, that she feels about Leo, but I would, never in a million years, wish she would treat me like she does Leo. Leo pulls me aside and expresses his frustrations that he's having about how Johanna is treating him, and the entire time he's talking, I'm thinking that that's how I feel about HER!"

Now back at the house, Melinda and Wes are having a conversation in the kitchen, about the games Johanna's playing, with him, AND with Leo.....
Rachel and Johanna (wheres busy body Lacey?) are right around the corner, and overhear Wes tell Melinda about Johanna's 'games.'

"What games?" Johanna says, as she pulls the knife from her back.

"You don't think that you were leading him on?" asks Wes, once he found out he was overheard.

"Oh, really... What games did I play with him?" asks a suddenly infuriated Johanna Monster.

Wes replies, "He told me just tonight, that you were leading him on!"

At this point, you can see the girl we once knew as Johanna turn from being a nice, Real World Sweetheart, into a Johanna monster! On the next RW/RR challenge 'Good guys vs Bad @e,' we now know Johanna will be on the Bad @ Team.

Now..... Johanna decides that she has had enough of Wes's Carp, and decides to drop Kick Wes's @ over I-35!

"Really, how did I play games with him?" she asks.

"He told me tonight you were leading him on?" Wes tells her.

"Oh, I see, so if I call him and ask him RIGHT NOW, he would tell me that I'm leading him on?" asks Johanna. "I'll just call him right now and ask him if thats what he thinks."

The conversation gets a bit uncivilized as Wes calls Johanna a ith, which doesn't help Johanna's rage subside. Wes then try's to get a civilized conversation going, with an infuriated Johanna Monster, but is unsuccessful.

Johanna stomps off to bed, followed by a tormenting 'Wes demon', who again try's to get a civilized conversation going, but is told that, in no uncertain terms, would not be spoken to for the next two weeks. Wes leaves the room, making gestures, flipping off Johanna, telling her "You are really really mature. I hope that you graduate from Elementary School sometime, pretty soon, you ith!"

Oh, thats a good way to get a mature, civilized conversation going with a Real World Austin girl......

Will Johanna stop playing with Wes, and Leo's heart? Find out next week on..... The Real World Austin!

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