Remember when you were in school, and you had a substitute teacher? And how your regular teacher would always leave piles of busy work to keep you from burning down the school? That’s where we begin on The Real World this week. The specter of Danny’s mother’s death is still hovering over the house, so the drama – at least the fun sort of drama – is still officially on hold.
The busy work this week? The cast will make video “getting-to-know-you” portraits of one another.
Wait. Didn’t we already “meet” these people weeks ago? Well, it’s time to do it again. Mel likes to dance on the bed. Rachel idolizes her great aunt. Lacey somehow thinks being filmed in a closet makes her gay. Didn’t Harry Potter sleep in a closet or something? Huh? Oh yeah. Mind’s wandering from a little boredom. Back to the show. Wes reminds us once again that he is a worthless waste of flesh and organs, preferring to sleep until the evening and only here for the parties.
Yes, work seems to be taking quite the central role in this episode. The housemates try their hands at Avid editing. It’s really not difficult, but I remember several people having trouble with it in college. I remember this one girl who did her project, and when it was time to show them in class… What? Sorry. I lost my train of thought again.. Get me a drunken night on the town, stat!
Wait! Mel’s friend Marcel is calling. Surely a friend of a wanton, uh, sweetheart like Mel will have some sort of debauchery in mind. No, wait…Marcel is just our red herring. It was at this moment Mel realized: Danny’s back.
Hugs galore for our dear Danny, even from Wes who, not surprisingly, is in bed (and even less surprisingly, is in bed alone). Danny tries to get back into the swing of things but is intimidated by the editing equipment. And Wes is still in bed.
Speaking of Wes, he should be a grief counselor. He wants to take Danny out drinking sans the girls prior to his inevitable role in the hay with Mel. Yup, drinking is the best way to solve any problem like that, I hear. My problems with watching this show, at least. He proceeds to give Danny relationship advice. Should Danny go out and see what sort of flora and fauna lurks within the Austin bars besides Melinda? After all, Wes reminds him, he could be meeting the girl he’s going to marry tonight. Then again, Danny counters, Mel could be the girl he’s going to marry. He shivers. So do I.
The alcohol starts flowing and Danny gives Mel the cold shoulder for the evening, which the girls think is kind of rude. Mel hovers over him trying to “make things work,” but he doesn’t look that interested. Give the dude a break, Mel. It wouldn’t hurt you to take a back seat for a while as he sorts things out. And take Wes with you.
Mel and the girls decide to go somewhere else. She and Johanna communicate through the common language of tequila, although Rachel’s not interested in the conversation. But it doesn’t work, as she’s quickly back to hovering around him, begging to know what’s going on.
Johanna’s tequila encourages her to get in a shouting match with Wes. Mel, meanwhile, has passed out, and Danny’s worried about her. She pukes in the toilet a few times but ultimately gets what she wants. Danny’s paying attention to her again. That’s the moral for the day, girls. If you’re having problems with your man, get plastered. Then he’ll care about you. And by next week, everyone’s yelling at each other again.
Alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.