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The Real World: Key West - Episode 1 Summary

'Can't We All Just Understand Paula' By volsfan
Original Airdate: February 28, 2006

Here we go kiddies…another round of Real World has started and we have a bunch of DAWs to keep up with over the next few months. Before we get to the summary of the first episode, let’s meet the roomies:

Janelle is a 23-year old bi-racial girl from California. Remember, she is the one that dates within her race (black boys) that really isn’t in her race…just partly. She comes across as being fairly outspoken but I wonder if she will be the bitch she says she is or if she is just all blow. We will have to wait and see I guess but the frizzy hair reminds me of Jerri from Survivor and is all it takes to turn my stomach.

Janelle (halfie) has been accepted to the San Francisco School of Law but wants to become a make-up artist as well. Well, those are two careers that really go hand and hand. I guess she can always get paid for doing the make-up for her defendants before going into the courtroom. Let’s just hope she doesn’t start giving her customers the same hairstyle as herself. Let’s please not forget to remember that Janelle is half black/half white.

John (Blowie) is 23 and from California as well. He is from Fullerton but recently graduate from Penn State. I hope this means he is going to be a little more grown-up than some of the other Real Worlder’s from the recent past but his nickname is Johnny Bananas. Is he the “Wes” of the group and the playa he projects? Prolly not!

I can see where John is going to be competing with Tyler and Jose for the best hair of the males this season. As of now, I would have to pick Jose, Tyler and then John. I will keep a tally of the men’s hair as the season goes by.

Jose was raised in Brooklyn but now resides in Sunrise Florida. Where can I start with this guy? He has his real estate license and is attending Florida State University as a junior. He is good looking but I think comes across as knowing it…just ask him!

However, his nickname is The Don! Is he going to come out as a frontrunner for the next season of the Soprano’s? His bio says he doesn’t take the easy way out…he is one we have to keep an eye on during this season. I think he may be in the running for anyone willing to give him a second glance (including Tyler!).

Paula (Skinny) is 24 and a recent graduate from Quinnipiac University and let’s hope more of an adult that can keep this idiots under control (after watching the first episode, I realize I was really being stewpid when talking about her being an “adult”).

Her bio says that she “demands attention” and is insecure. Oh good grief…do we have another Beth in the making? Let’s hope not or worse she could be another “Coral MY BREASTESSESS ARE REAL” in the making!

Svetlana (Slutty) is a 19 year-old pre-med student at Temple. Well, sounds like MTV is trying to get people that are more mature than in the past but I wonder why this one is included. The baby is supposedly the slut of the group…I am keeping the crown until she can live up to the title!

Her bio makes it sound like this will be her breaking away from home ordeal. If so, we could hear tons of “I miss home” crying and it could get old very quickly. Let’s hope she hooks up and finds someone to cling to early on…if not? We could be in trouble here.

Next up…Zach (Chubbie)! This former chubster has lost weight and is having a hard time keeping it off. He might have more success if he just shaved his weight (that’s 25 pounds right there). He says that he is very active and plays tennis and I guess we will have to see if Mr. Healthy can keep up with workout besides the 16oz curls.

Zach has that loveable puppy dog look with really nice eyes but something tells me he is going to be the clingy “I have to have someone” at all times kind of guy. Is it just me or has MTV found a bunch of guys that are going to cause more drama than the girls this time around?

Tyler (queen Ty) is the token gay for the season and is athletic as a top swimmer that had an injury to keep him from competing. As a typical gay male, Tyler has the hair, style and jewelry to pull it off without much determination.

I don’t know if Tyler knows about Key West or not but it is one of the most gay friendly cities in the country. If Tyler is half as smart as the others he will be on the lookout for a sugar daddy and forget the Real World house!

Enough of the previews…let’s get to the first episode!

Well, it appears the editors of the show wants to drill home that everyone is insecure and afraid of not fitting in with the others. Slutty is leaving home for the first time for more than a week (however, on her weekly trips she could take her battery powered friend) and is really upset that others might find her “loose” way of life a little threatening and she is worried about fitting in with the rest of the houseguest.

Skinny reveals that she is sort of kinda in a way but not really a bulimic. This is something that has just started rearing its ugly head but long enough for her to not weigh more than 105 pounds soaking wet. She is afraid others might judge her and make fun of the way she wants to lose more than 20 pounds during her stay in the Real World house.

Queen Ty is up next and excited about leaving home and the new world that awaits…however, he isn’t so sure the others will accept him for the person he is and the fact that he likes to bed other guys. Will the men of the house feel threatened? Will he make friends easily? Will this ever end? My head hurts already.

Halfie is so worried about moving into the house and wondering if the others will accept the fact that she is half cow feet and half pig snout and it is going to cause such drama others won’t know how to act.

Blowie is seen saying goodbye to his plastic girlfriend and assuring her that everything will be ok between them. However, he is very upset that the others may not find him acceptable to live with because he has this ongoing relationship with a blow-up doll or that he may have to share her with the other guys of the house. The one thing I am concerned about is whether he will have to share his girlfriend with Slutty on slow Friday nights.

Chubbie was a porker as a child but has now lost weight and is active to try and keep the weight off. He is really worried about not fitting in with the others because they may not accept the fact that he used to be fat or that he has to work to keep his weight off.

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