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Big Brother 5 - Episode 8 Summary

'Drew's In Charge' By anotherkim
Original Airdate: July 24, 2004

It's a Saturday night (7/24/04). I've come to the sad realization that my life must indeed suck if I can find nothing better to do than watch the most self-centered and delusional people on television preen, yak, b!tch, whine, snuggle, cuddle, argue, leer, grimace and belch for 60 minutes...and this episode didn't even show Julie Chen. Accepting my sucktitude is the first step toward healing, right?

For those who might have missed Thursday's episode, Lori was voted out and Drew **sigh** won the HOH contest in some amazingly easy competition that involved numbers and blindfolds, I think.

This sends the houeguests into their typical frenzies...the first one being, "What will be in Drew's room?" Drew eagerly invites them in to see what his loving family has sent to make his cell in the ugliest house in California a little bit more palatable. The guests ooh and ahh over the stuff, espeically the two prized items: Drew's pillow and his blankie. Bless Drew's hot, gorgeous little heart. It's hard to be The Man when Mom sent your woobie to you on national TV. There are also the requisite pictures and food. Yawn. All the guests gush that this is by far the best HOH stuff so far. Yeah, well, they've had a whopping two others to compare it to.

Anyway, that's that. Once the gush-fest is over, it's time for the Four Whoresmen to get down to business. Who should Scott, Jase er, DREW nominate? Naturally, Scott and Jase want the girls gone. CB hates Marvin. Yada, yada, yada. I don't care how you edit this---there is no way to make it either suspenseful OR entertaining.

After the break, we see Scott b.s'ing the crowd with tales about his job and a complete lie about his birthday. He's really a freak. The headband is on waaaaay too tight.

As those of you who read these summaries may know, it's fair game to make up dialogue or situations that may or may not be 100% accurate portrayals of the players involved. Some of our esteemed writers are absolute masters at this. Me? Not so much. Thankfully, the Three Stooges provided me material so rich that it's almost not fair. It's as if they KNEW it was my turn to summarize.

Basically, Jase, Scott and Holly are all lolling outside bemoaning the fact that life is unfair to them beacuse they are soooooooooo good looking. It's really HARD to be so attractive and people just don't give you a fair shot. Dumb jocks. Bimbos. They never get a fair shake. People just don't take them seriously.

Holly: "I don't think people would treat me the same if I had like, glasses and brown hair" (okay, Holly, we all know that you HAVE brown hair. They still don't like you).

The looks on their faces are absolutely priceless. They are deadly serious. Theirs is a difficult cross to this point, I just want to pull those insipid headbands down over their mouths and tape Holly's mouth shut. No, make that glue. Or staples.

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