While traveling through the Galaxy around the Moonves of Planet CBS Chenbot feels a great disturbance in the force. Is it the planet Alderan being blown up? No it’s the fact that the biggest natural disaster in United States history is taking place and because of her commitment to a reality show, “newswoman” Julie Chin has to do another episode in a double elimination week instead of covering the news.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away 14 people moved into house on a soundstage in Los Angeles, one by one the had all fell victim to the Dark side and were banished. A brave few tried to come back and fight but were quickly done away with again.
We begin by seeing the princess from the planet Miami in a cryfest over not being able to win the coveted HOH power yet again. She then claims that Janelle has the worse soul she has ever seen. From the depths of Hell both Hitler and Jabba the Hut want a recount.
Howie then gets to see his room. The Jedi Council has seen fit to give Padawin Howie light sabers, but he is not a JedI yet. He walks around with something of his growing bigger, his light saber of course. Howie says he is going to teach Janelle the way of the JedI. All across America, geeks start getting that special feeling they get when they see Angelina Jolie as Laura Croft. They aren’t sure what it is, but it both scares them and excites them at the same time.
We then get a special guest. Will it be a favorite cast member from seasons pass? No it is Jar Jar Holly from season 5. She teaches the younglings the way of the Force with such great phrases as, “it’s a crapout-crap”, and “Beaubonic supersonic“, and last but not least “yay”. All around the galaxy C3PO’s are saying, “man I wish that Banta would shut up.
Long story short Maggie wins Power of Veto. We then see our group of rebels in the living room wiping all the blood from their ears. Maggie wants to speak with Howie. Howie is afraid and doesn’t want to be alone with Maggie so he has to have Boba Fett Janelle with him. Boba Fett started out as a small insignificant character who later grew to cult status. Apparently Howie is afraid that Maggie will use the JedI Mind trick on him and let him know that Ivette and Beau are not the druids he is looking for.
Maggie make April cry which is something anyone can do even a three year old. April thought Maggie was going to play with her heart. Maggie is playing with her head, and Howie is playing with his you know what. Light saber of course. Maggie says “Morals are an unfortunte thing to have in this game, so is being so dumb that you would dig a hole in Cloud City. I’m looking at you Howie. Maggie decides not to use the POV.
We then get to the vote and Beau Beau gets voted out. Fantasia Boreno cries because her dance is voted off of big brother.
Howie using his awesome JedI abilities knows that Ivette won’t be ready for the next HOH competition because her partner has just left the house. Way to us those powers Howie. Ivette finally wins a HOH, maily because Maggie threw it.
We now get to the butt portion of the show. First we get a question about who likes a womans rear the most, then Ivette telling Maggie to “put a turbo on that butt”, we get to see Ivette’s girlfriend Tushie and Howie steals candy from Ivette to look like an @$$.
Howie and Janelle come up with a plan to break into Jabba’s Palace, and free Han Solo. When they realize that plan wouldn’t work they decide to garauntee Yvette a t least a spot in the final three with them if she doesn’t put them up. Which is a much better deal than the final three spot she would already have with people who are her team mates because trusting your enemies is so much more better.
Now back to the train of our young Padawin. The house guest say that getting the light sabers is making Howie a kid again. Again? When did he ever not act like a kid? Big brother sprung the extra $20.00 to get a special effects program for their film editor, so they could have Lucas quality special effects when Howie hit’s the ball with his light saber.
Janelle talks about being a JedI and once again geeks all over America start to picture her in a metallic gold bikini.
Howie tells us he meditates like a JedI all the time including in traffic. Good I feel safer.
At the nomination ceremony, Ivette tells Janelle that she underestimated her and that is why she is up, and Howie is up because he is on the other side. Janelle seems to think this is a bogus reason because Janelle is good and she didn’t say that. She did say underestimated you Janelle. Take a compliment when it is given to you.
Time for the POV competition. Big Brother brings out the Morph Master 3000. This contraption puts faces of the house guest together into a different face. I must say I hadn’t seen faces that ugly since I walked into a cantina on Mos Eisly. Janelle wins and as always is gracious and sportsman like about the whole deal.
Ivette is shown going to Howie to discuss a final two scenario with him. Is this like when Anakin started his slide to the Dark side?
Janelle decides to save herself , Ivette puts April up, Luke Skywalker has his hand chopped off and creepy announcer guy tells us to tune in Thursday to see who the Emporer does away with this time.