The Amazing Race 7 - Episode 11 Summary

'The Underground and Double-decker Buses' By cqvenus

I missed last week’s episode. What? Kelly/Ron are still on? WTF?

Istanbul… lives on 2 continents. Europe/Asia. That’s pretty cool. I want to live on 2 continents. That was the last pitstop of the Amazing Race.

Now what?

Ron and Kelly arrived last at a (predetermined) non-elimination stop so they will have nothing except the clothes on their backs and their passports. No money for them this leg. Good luck begging in Istanbul, I suppose.

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Is anyone else still shocked that Meredith and Gretchen are in the final four??? *Nod* Me, too.

Uchenna and Joyce leave but they can barely read the clue. They sound like they just got their hooked on phonics in the mail yesterday. Oh, well. They can go through it all with their expensively conceived child when the Race is over.

They have to go to the train station and go to someplace where there are crazy people in flowy dresses whirling around to show their faith. They get $477 this leg. Or was it $77? They were bad readers. I didn’t get to understand.

Uchenna and Joyce get a taxi to the train.

Their confessional reveals that in real life, they go different directions. But now they are relying on each other. Because, you know, this is a race. A team Race. And they entered together. And they are a team. So they have to work together. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

They think the twirling religious freaks are beautiful. I think they’re making me dizzy.

Now fly two thousand miles to England and cross Abbey Road to get the next clue.

Meredith and Gretchen leave. They are thrilled to be the oldest to get this far. They just wanted to get through as far as they could without embarrassing themselves. Oops! Too late.

Uchenna and Joyce are at the airport. They speak to airport people in a weird accent (because, you know, if you speak to people in a Turkish accent maybe they’ll understand you better) but still English. Joyce looks hot bald. Right? Okay, no. But I wanted to commend her for finally stopping her crying about it. Gawd. They don’t really check flights. They just get a direct flight. Because, as we all know, the fastest path between two points is a straight line nonstop flight. I mean, wait a minute… Something isn’t right with that logic. But it’s too late to figure it out because they already have the tickets. Just to prove to Uncle Cameraman how confident they are, they opt to not even check the other flights and find out if their hunches were correct. I predict this will be gufu of the week. Stay tuned.

I missed some stuff. I am very sorry. Blame the BF. He decided to talk to me during TAR. Grounds for divorce, perhaps. Good thing we aren’t married yet or I’d need me a lawyer. And Johnny Cochrane is dead. Where does that leave me???

Okay… Rob and Amber are at the airport. They find connecting flight through Frankfurt. I guess it gets in earlier or whatever but they say it’s a big risk. I’m really not sure why.

Meredith and Gretchen give money to Ron and Kelly. Ron and Kelly take a risk by going standby to try to get ahead of Rob and Amber.

Uchenna and Joyce and Gretchen and Meredith are still waiting in the airport.

Rob and Amber think getting there first is important because whoever gets there first has the advantage of talking to people. What? Talk to whom? Cross.The.Road Period. How frickin’ hard is that? How hard can it possibly be to find ABBEY ROAD? If Edina and Patsy can find it after a night of intense drinking and smoking, really, it can’t be that difficult.

Next take the train to the roller coaster. London Eye. Hm. Is this a Roller Coaster in the middle of the city? They have to go up to some tower thing to spot it, then go find it. At least, that’s what I got out of it. I am sorry. BF talked to me again.

Meredith and Gretchen and Uchenna and Joyce all arrive. They know they are a couple of hours behind so they can’t make any mistakes. Good.Frikkin.Luck

Next up, find the three naked men of Hammerstein?smith? But for Ron and Kelly, find the three nekkid men. The producers found this as amusing as I did because we heard “three nekkid men,” “three nekkid men,” “three NEKKID men?” over and over and over again. Interestingly enough, it never grew to become unfunny. I’m smirking right now in memory of the three nekkid men.

Rob and Amber and Ron and Kelly are off to Baker Street to find Sherlock Holmes. At this point I can’t help but wonder how incredibly irksome it is to a Londoner to hear an American asking a question like, “What street did Sherlock Holmes live on?” I liken it to being in New York City and someone asking me where the Empire State Building is. Um, look UP and walk in that direction. Not that hard. But I guess Baker Street isn’t really the largest street in the city, so that’s probably not a fair metaphor. Oh, well. The metaphor shop is closed for today. Go get your own.

Rob and Amber find the Sherlock Holmes statue. My hunches tell me they could’ve really figured this out without help. I suppose if I were in TAR, I’d ask everyone everything. But I’d feel like a tool for it. That’s why I won’t ever be on TAR. I am too embarrassed by my Americanism. I love my country. I just think the vast majority of us are an abomination of travelers. Anyway, next, go to Sherlock Holmes museum. Get a clue. (Hee)

Next, go to millennium dome. Caution: Yield Ahead.

Ohhh… a yield ahead. Does anyone wonder who will get there first? I don’t. I think to myself, Rob and Amber will be there first. And they will yield Uchenna and Joyce, because they were in the lead. This message sponsored by Captain Obvious.

Meredith speaks “English” to people, saying “might you summon a cab for us?” This is different from English, that we speak here in the states, which would translate the above statement to something like, “EH, YEW! GO GET ME A CAB! NOW! I AIN’T GOT ALL FRICKIN’ DAY!” but when in Rome… speak the King’s English. *shrug*

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