Previously on the Apprentice.... Kendra flew right into radar land and completely blew Net Worth out of the water. Beautiful Audrey almost blinded the D with her obvious (gulp) charms, but eventually her veneer cracked and he realized that she is not only hideously ugly but really sucked as a project manager.
We interrupt this summary as Trigirl needs another Martini. Feel sorry for me, I am sitting slopeside for springbreak. DH is on the slopes and the TriTwins are off galavanting somewhere. That's why this summary is so darn late. Sorry. Cosmo please.
We begin this week with Chris fretting the "My Boy" John may not return. Apparently they have this little brother/ big brother thing going on...which may be news to John. Don't hold your breath for any loyalty Chris, John would sell his Mother for a fiver. Ahhh....joy, Chris looked like it was Christmas morning when Craig, Angie and John walked in.
Ding-a-ling...it's Rhona. Angie picks up the phone. Now is it me or is there something to be said for success=answering the phone. Season 1 was Kwame. Season 2 was Kelly. Season 3...? Rhona tells Angie that someone who hasn't PM'd yet must do so. That can only mean Kendra for Magna and either Chris or Craig for Net Worth. Chris and Craig put their names in the hat and Chris is the winner.
Magna and NetWorth enter the boardroom to find out it is time for Corporate Restructuring. Or as it is also known, pick new friends from the playground. Any Canadians out there start chanting "Albert, Albert" around that time? Kendra dumps Steph and Elvira, Chis boots Craig and Tana.
The new Magna is: Kendra Craig Tana Alex Bren
The new Net Worth is: Chris Stephanie Erin John Angie
Their task, an 11 minute live charity celebrity auction on Fuse Network for the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric Aids Fund. They will be 'randomly' assigned five artists with whom they must negotiate a 'personal experience'. The team that raises the most money, wins. Stephanie is exempt from firing as the last winning PM.
The 'randomly' assigned artists are:
Net Worth Bare Naked Ladies Gene Simmons New Found Glory Simple Plan Fat Joe
Magna L'il Kim Lil John Moby Eve Jadakiss
For Net Worth, Chris puts John, Stephanie and Erin in charge of the artist negotiations while he works on production with Angie. John instantly shows what a great guy he is with comments like "the more girls the better". Maybe Audrey was right about this guy. John puts on his hipster wear and his chain wallet and heads off to meet the artists with his 'Hot Chicks". He tells Steph to get giggly during negotiations. Hello....John, have you not been living with Steph in the loft...she is not a 'giggly' girl!
We now interrupt the real show for an ego moment sponsored by Trump. Trump's message of the week "Go Big Or Go Home". Personally, I fast-forward through the Jack Hambly moments of the Apprentice because they totally ruin the suspense. Ha!
Kendra, Tana and Craig head off for Magna to do the negotiations with the artists. Tana starts getting crazy and making a fool of herself. She even had the Ice-Woman Carolyn in tears. "We be talking". "Gotta get me a litte bling bling". "That be diggity". I think it can only be referred to as Mangecake Hip Hop.
Kendra felt that Tana and Craig were doing well enough that she could leave them alone to go back to work on production with Alex and Bren. Cut to Angie and Chris working on their production which they plan as a 'backstage tour' theme.
Back over at artist negotiations...something is rotten in the state of John's giant head. Beginning with New Found Glory and also with Bare Naked Ladies, John pitches the same boring idea over and over again. During the process he interrupts and is disrespectful of Erin and Steph. They ask if one of the artists will appear on their show and Tyler from BNL says he will. John asks him to bring his drumms because John is such a big-time musician and he needs a fix on the drums. I can't belive that this guy was one of my faves in the beginning! Tyler makes a nice face. Ha!
Tana and Craig decide they really need to shoot for the moon when negotiating with the artists. Tana afterall is the top Mary Kay Lady in the universe or something. They negotiate and appearance on Eve's show and lunch with Eve. To travel around the world with Jadakiss. A week with L'il Kim. A week on tour with Moby. A chance to hang with Lil John and be his cup bearer.
Over at Net Worth, John is trying to pimp out 'his girls'. Gene Simmons, while interested in the pimping option, is not too impresses with John. Don't know if its editing or not, but nobody seems too impressed with John.
Craig and Tana do their auction on Fuse. Tana get the label "MILF" on screen and then starts her Mangecake Hip Hop speak again. Craig is pretty good as the straigh guy.
Erin is the rocker chic and Chris as rocker for their show. Elvira actually did a pretty good job. They had Tyler from BNL and Gene Simmons appear on their show. Gene gave Elvira a wet willy that gave me the willy's. Yuck. Is he creepy or what?!
DT watched the broadcasts from that seriously small office we often see on the show. Now tell me, he has the god-awful appartment that is like an acid trip, are we supposed to believe that he works in that broom closet?
DT heads over to Fuse for the results.
Net Worth - $11 325 Magna - $21 654
Kendra get the "get out of jail card" this week but there is no reward for Magna. Cheapo DT says their rewards is working on such a worthwhile cause. Kinda remind you of the lamo-limo ride to Times Square from season 2?
Back at the suite, the yackity yack begins. Everyone knows that it is between Chris and John. Angie hopes that Chris doesn't throw himself under the wheels to save John.
In the boardroom, DT compliments Chris's tv performance saying that he was "cool", DT didn't think he was that cool. Then we had to listen to his drooling over Erin and how great she was. Erin mouthed "Thank You" to DT and I almost expected her to blow a kiss and wink. It was gross.
George begins the attack by coming down on Chris for not being a part of the negotiations with the artists. Funny Kendra wasn't either, but the rules are different when you are a loser. George was not impressed with the prize packages that Net Worth negotiated. Erin picks sides and says John sucked.
Chris takes in John and Erin to the boardroom. DT is surprised that Erin is coming back to the boardroom but secretly pleased as there can be some footsies under the table. Chris explains that Steph is exempt, and Angie did an awesome job, so he has to take Erin.
Other than the fact that Chris has an anger management problem, he spoke really well in the boardroom. He stated his case that he felt production was as important as negotiations and that he trusted John to acquire great packages. George still feels that Chris should have done that too. Erin and even John agree that Chris could not have done all things on this task.
DT tells Erin that she will probably not get fired if she moves her foot a little to the left. She has such nimble toes! Erin starts yipping and DT tells her to keep talking and she may get fired. He dares her to talk and she shuts up and starts looking nervous. Who was shouting at their tv, daring her to speak?
DT begins....John you asked for the wrong things...John you're fired.