• 19 Yankees are marooned on the island of Fiji. • Using their supplies, the castaways constructed the most pimped out camp in Survivor history. • Sylvia bossed everyone around, and therefore got to split up the tribes. As a reward, she got to go to Exile Island. • During the challenge, Jessica slowed the Ravu Tribe down, so the Moto Tribe won. • Sylvia learns that the Hidden Immunity Idol is back at camp, and Jessica becomes the first person voted out of the game.
Formalities aside, it's time to get down to business with some good ol' fashioned leaf-licking. It's how all the great Survivor episodes begin. The generically-named Ravu Tribe, fresh from Tribal Council, is dehydrated. During one of their regular Lick The World curiosity festivals, they realized that the nearby leaves contain a cache of hydration goodness.
Earl comments that the thirst is killing the tribe and that it's making him delirious. But that's probably because he's been licking frogs instead of palm fronds.
Cue the opening credits! The opening credits are still kinda confusing for we viewers, since half of the castaways are still a bunch of Zoes. (Edgardo who?)
As bad as things are going over at Ravu, at least they weren't named after a cell phone company. Despite this humiliating disadvantage, the Motorola Tribe is living large. They're sleeping on silk mattresses and filling their bellies full of diamond-laced caviar... It's making Lisi so happy that she's singing like a chipmunk. And, since Dave Seville isn't on the island, no one seems to mind. Lisi then comments that "this game is so vicious, it's delicious" and proceeds to giggle for the subsequent six hours.
Boo, sitting in the hammock, ironically comments on how difficult this lifestyle is, and that they're living off the fat of the land. He'd be correct too, if by "the land" he means "a Bed, Bath, & Beyond store." He also observes that this is going to be the first Survivor in which everyone gains weight, which is sure to stymie the obsessive spoiler community. Gaining weight means a pre-pre-jury boot, right?
Back at Ravu, the peons are busy trying to make fire. They're trying the method that's failed in pretty much every previous season: rubbing sticks together furiously. They didn't get flint at Tribal Council because one of the twists of this season is to let one of the tribes die of dehydration. Death is good for the ratings.
As an alternative to boiling water, they're using the water inside coconuts. This process usually takes only a minute, says Yau Man, but the dull machete makes it more time-consuming. In addition, some of the coconuts have very little water inside, as demonstrated by Mookie. This proves that even the coconuts don't take a guy named Mookie seriously.
Rocky comments that the dehydration is really taking its toll on the tribe. People can't even stand up or chop five coconuts without needing a nap. Furthermore, he was even eating clams off the ground. Off the ground! Come on. Rocky doesn't eat clams off the ground! Are you kidding me? Clams? Off the ground? No! No eating clams off the ground. No way. Are you kidding me? Rocky doesn't do that. C'mon. Are you kidding me? Clams off the ground?
Thankfully, we're taken back to the Motorola Tribe before Rocky can finish his diatribe. Boo's got a boo boo. He's jabbed his eye against something pointy and Alex is treating it with water. If the thirsty Ravu Tribe saw this, they'd probably kill themselves. But then again, death is good for the ratings.
Recovering from his eye injury, Boo starts chopping some wood with the ax. This doesn't seem like a great idea, considering that Boo is swinging the ax toward his body. Consequently, the ax slices through one of his fingers and nicks his leg. Being on the tribe with full medical coverage (the Canadian tribe, obviously), Boo immediately gets the attention he requires. And a lollipop. Dreamz, in a confessional, predicts that Boo's going to hurt himself out of the game. The hammock agrees with him.
Meanwhile, Sylvia's returning from Exile Island to the Ravu Tribe. She greets Anthony, asking if they've built the shelter or have waited for her to arrive. In her mind, none of her tribemates are qualified to bark out suggestions commands. Yau Man's excited to see Sylvia, mostly because he wants to frisk her for the "hidden immunity idol." Even if he doesn't find it, Yau Man still considers himself a winner.
Sylvia then attempts to assist with the water harvesting by smacking the coconut with the dull side of the machete. Erica was doing it that way too, but far more successfully. In a confessional, Sylvia notes that she feels "extraneous," which is coincidentally our Survivor Vocabulary Word of the Week...
Extraneous - Adj. (1) coming from without (2) not forming a vital part See also: IRRELEVANT.
For all of you studying for the SAT, here's an application of the vocabulary word.
Anyway, Michelle isn't excited about having Sylvia around. Anthony agrees, saying that she's too bossy. The guys, in general, feel pretty castrated by a strong estrogen presence and are already set on voting her out if/when they lose an Immunity Challenge. They plan on using her up and then getting rid of her. This is commonly known as the Washington Redskins approach to personnel management.
Back at Motorola, Dreamz is cutting coconuts from a tree with the machete. In a confessional, he observes that being homeless is a lot tougher than being on Survivor. At home, he and his siblings would have to search for food and share it, which is a real struggle. In short, Dreamz is on the island right now in order to support his family.
Right now, everyone watching at home is completely and utterly baffled by this edit job. Is this inspirational story really coming from the annoying "Where's the white folks?" guy from last week? And now he's the Hallmark Movie of the Week? Who edited these tapes?
Jumping back to Ravu again, it looks like Earl, Erica, and Rocky are exploring the island. They quickly find some "Sylvia Berries." Living up to their name, however, they're completely unusable and would ultimately make the Ravu Tribe kinda sick. After returning to camp empty-handed, Erica checks out the nearby bush where she's rewarded with a pineapple haul. The whole tribe is elated. Erica's pretty much bought herself a free trip to the Final Four now, especially with Earl wanting to marry her. Unless she somehow freaks out during an immunity challenge. That seems pretty unlikely, though.