Exclusive: Marissa May talks about her 'The Bachelor' experience
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 02/04/2011
The Bachelor bachelorette Marissa May's televised search for love came to an end when Brad Womack opted not to give her a rose during Monday night's broadcast of the fifteenth season's fifth Rose Ceremony.
On Friday, the 26-year-old sports publicist from Kissimmee, FL talked to Reality TV World about her The Bachelor experience. Below is the first part of our exclusive two-part interview with Marissa -- including what she thought about Brad, what frustrated her the most about her time on the show, why she had been hoping to go on the two-on-one elimination date, and how she hadn't been expecting to be sent home yet.
Check back with Reality TV World on Monday for the rest of the interview.
Reality TV World: Were you surprised when you got eliminated or did you see it coming at all?
Marissa May: Going into every Rose Ceremony, I never wanted to go in there thinking that I was going to walk out with a rose. I never wanted to have that frame of mind. That being said, I still was a little surprised when my name wasn't called. I didn't think that I would be going home that week.
Reality TV World: In your final words, you said you put yourself out there time and time again but you weren't right and didn't fit. Can you elaborate on that, and does that mean you didn't feel that you had a connection with Brad?
Marissa May: No, I definitely think that Brad is a good person and an amazing guy -- incredible man -- and is the type of guy that I'm looking for. And in conversations that we have had, we definitely clicked, had a lot of similarities, and I guess just in his eyes and from his perspective, he either didn't see enough or didn't see what was right, and it just wasn't a fit on his side.
Reality TV World: So after you were eliminated, do you think you were more upset and disappointed that you hadn't found love in general or that your hadn't found love with Brad?
Marissa May: A lot of it was definitely, I guess, a surprise and shock that I was going home and that I actually wasn't going to be able to continue on. A lot of it was that I really felt like I never got the time to really show him all of me. When you're on group dates, you really don't get a lot of time with him, and when you're at cocktail ceremonies, you get five or 10 minutes here or there to talk with him.
But you don't really get to relax and kick back. You're trying to plan these perfect conversations with him at Rose Ceremonies because you just want to try to show him something new or tell him something new so he is intrigued and hopefully the next week you'll get a one-on-one date so that you can get a lot of time with him.
So, a lot of it was just shock. I just felt like I never really got the opportunity to spend quality time with him, and really show him who I was. And I think that that's just a big rejection -- that the guy didn't even want to take time to spend a one-on-one date with you. So, that was a lot of it.
Reality TV World: Also, in your final words, you said you left a lot behind to go on the show. What exactly did you have to leave behind, and looking back, do you regret having given those things up for The Bachelor?
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Marissa May: I've worked very hard to get to where I am within my career. The sports industry is a tough industry to crack especially as a female, and I had to leave my job in order to go on the show and it was a big move to take, you know, hoping that everything would be great and work out well.
And I took that big leap and it didn't work out. So, for me, it was just knowing that I worked so hard within my career and I just -- I took that risk -- and left that behind.
Reality TV World: You told Brad you are a random texter and random note giver, and you gave him a collection of your notes for him to read at his leisure. Do you you mind sharing some of what you wrote in the notes and explaining why you chose to give them to him?
Marissa May: You know, in a previous conversation I had had with Brad, he said -- I asked him if he had any concerns or questions about me and he said -- that he's definitely seen that I'm a guy's girl and I could hang with the guys, but he hadn't seen that softer side of me. And, that definitely shocked me because I'm definitely someone that is very emotional and that's something that any guy I've dated knows about me.
So, knowing that he hadn't seen that side of me, I just -- I wanted to be able to do something to show him that -- and hope that it was enough to intrigue him and hopefully want a one-on-one date to see more of that. So, I was just trying to show him that softer side of me, giving him just little notes that I would normally do if I was in a relationship.
I would do that for someone if they were having a bad day, this is what I would have said to them, or if they needed a laugh, this is what I would have said to them. So, they were just a little compilation of different situations that if you were to ever be in, you know, this is what -- if we were in the normal dating world -- what I would do or say to make you feel better or let you know that I care.
Reality TV World: So when you didn't end up getting a rose later that night, were you a little bitter? Because the show showed you saying that you felt you had really put yourself out there for him and been looking forward to spend time with him but suggesting that he hadn't really given you that chance.
Marissa May: I wasn't bitter. I knew that when it was my time to go, it was my time to go -- never any bitterness. But it was definitely -- I was sad -- I was definitely sad and disappointed that I didn't get the chance to at least be with him on a one-on-one.
And I know that everyone doesn't get one-on-one dates, but I definitely had thought that between our conversations and that between our similarities, that I would at least get that opportunity. So, when I didn't get that, that was definitely sad.
Reality TV World: Ashley Spivey told me yesterday that she had thought you were possibly going to be one of the bachelorettes on the two-on-one date with Brad, and she also mentioned Alli Travis, Britt Billmaier and Lisa Morrisey as possibilities because none of you four had been on a one-on-one date with him yet. Had you felt the same way and been thinking you were probably going to be one of the girls?
Marissa May: Absolutely, going into Vegas, I thought, 'If I'm not on the one-on-one, I'm going to be in a two-on-one.' And I actually told Brad that I would have preferred to be on a two-on-one than on a group date, because I would have at least felt that on a two-on-one, I would have had a more intimate setting where I would have been able to spend more time with him.
If I went home on a two-on-one date, it's because he was actually able to spend some intimate time with me and there wasn't a connection. You know on group dates, you really don't get to spend a lot of time with him.
You get a couple minutes here or there, he sees you from just hanging out and having fun and while it's true that that definitely shows you a lot about a person, that doesn't really show you a romantic side of them.
So, but I thought I was going to be on a two-on-one, and I would have gladly taken that because I knew that if I went home after that, it was just because there wasn't a romantic connection, rather than having to guess as to why I went home only being on group dates.
Reality TV World: Do you have any insight as to why he ended up choosing Ashley S. and Ashley H?
Marissa May: No, the only thing that I could say is maybe it got time to where he had to really start making some tough decisions, and everyone was coming home from one-on-one dates and all of us were thinking, 'At some point, someone can't come home from a one-on-one date.
And I think he was just getting to a point where he had developed connections with a handful of women and he just kind of needed to see which was stronger at that point.
Reality TV World: When you got out of the limo on the first night, you asked Brad if he was okay with the fact that your publicist job and social life both "completely" revolve around sports. Can you elaborate on what you meant by that a little bit?
Marissa May: Yeah, I mean, I definitely am -- my life absolutely revolves around sports -- I work in sports. If I'm not working, I'm at home, chances are, probably watching sports. If I'm not at home watching sports, I'm out being active, or I'm out at sporting events. Sports has been a part of my life forever. I played sports all up through college.
I played softball in college, and it's just always been a deep love and passion of mine. So, you know, just kind of throwing that out there -- everyone tries to do something to kind of grab the guy's attention on that first night -- and my life definitely revolves around sports. I think I couldn't be with a guy who had no interest in sports whatsoever.
Reality TV World: So from what you said, it seems like you were just trying to use it as an ice-breaker. Was that the situation or were you also trying to warn him that you are around athletes all the time because of your the job and maybe some men in your past haven't liked that so much?
Marissa May: Oh no, it was definitely an ice-breaker thing. I'm not saying that isn't something that a lot of guys have problems with, but I was using it as an ice-breaker. If we developed a relationship down the line, it would definitely be something that would probably come up, but in that moment, it was just an ice-breaker.
Reality TV World: You have discussed how you wished you had a one-on-one or two-on-one date, so how did you feel when you found out you were going on all these large group dates with 12 or 15 girls? How frustrating was that for you especially because you hadn't had that personal time with Brad?
Marissa May: It definitely got to a point where it was a little frustrating. I mean, granted, on every date I absolutely had a blast. I threw myself into it and had a great time. But I wasn't thinking about, 'Oh geez, I'm on a group date. Why am I in the middle of a group date?' At first when you hear your name on a group date card, you're like, 'Oh okay, well at least I get a date this week.'
I was very grateful for just even being able to be on a date at all when the weeks would come by. I was of course, you know, a little disappointed in things when I wasn't -- when I was again, on a group date -- I was thinking, 'What does this guy need to see to want to spend a one-on-one date with me?'
Yeah, it definitely gets a little frustrating, and a little -- you start questioning, 'What do I have to do?' -- 'What else is there to do?' But you always have to sit back and kind of wonder, 'Why am I still on these group dates?'
Reality TV World: You've touched on this a little, but do you think things would have turned out differently if you did get that one-on-one or two-on-one date with Brad?
Marissa May: No, it's hard to say. I never had the chance to really spend any time with Brad to develop a romantic connection -- or see if there was a romantic connection -- so, based off our similarities and based off of the conversations that we did have, sure I would like to think that we could have been different if I had a one-on-one date.
But I also have to be able to think that he's also developing relationships with other women, so it might not necessarily be -- yeah we get along great, but also our relationship is in comparison with the other ones that he's already developed -- so you never know how it would have turned out. But of course I would like to think that if I did get that one-on-one time with him, he could have wanted to get to know more of me.