Previously on The Amazing Race we had a roadblock, a detour and an elimination.
We had our first time penalty for breaking a rule. And tears because of it. Way too many tears. And then they didn’t get eliminated and there were more tears. Oh, and it was Tom & Terry crying, not some girls. (not much difference sometimes) Duke & Lauren were eliminated after making a lovely birdcage.
On with the show.
As the show begins we are informed that Rob collapsed from heat exhaustion and, after medical treatment, was deemed fit to continue the race. We are disappointed because now we have to endure more sniping at Kimberly and him calling everyone “dude”.
Mary’s ankle is still hurting and slowing she and David down. Will it continue to be a problem? I know you are dying to know the answer to that question so let’s get these teams out of the pitstop.
It is, as usual, night as the teams are leaving. We start at 10:55 with Erwin and Godwin and continue, in order, until the last team, Tom & Terry, departs at 11:48.
I know you all want to know what they’re thinking as they leave so here we go.
Erwin & Godwin feel a big responsibility to be Asian-American.
Tyler & James will pick each other up when they’re down.
Rob & Kimberly know that to Rob control is a big thing in their relationship.
Dustin & Kandice are competitive and people will see it as their competitive juices start flowing. (and leak totally out without doing them any good). They also joke about paying the other taxis to leave. (Rob & Amber would have done it)
Peter & Sarah leave with Sarah realizing that she has discovered wonderful and disappointing things about Peter.
Lyn & Karlyn are doing the race for their kids. (a shocking revelation, I know)
David & Mary leave with Mary planning to be superwoman after having been a reality TV couch potato.
Tom & Terry tell us it sucks to be last but they won’t let it get them down.
Teams are to travel 20 miles by taxi to Hanoi where they must find Thai To Garden and listen for their next clue. They are given 588 thousand dong, which they must pick up at a table before they leave.
We have our typical childish cheering as teams pass other teams and the equally childish urging of the drivers to go faster. (refreshingly, no one says “rapido”) Erwin & Godwin wonder where their driver is taking them.
Tyler & James arrive first and immediately hear a voice over a loudspeaker saying, “Attention Racers!” (remember this fact as we go on)
Peter is bugged by Rob & Kimberly (aren’t we all?) but as he and Sarah exit their taxi he turns to look at Rob and has to be nagged by Sarah to hurry up.
As Rob & Kimberly arrive, Rob wonders where Peter and Sarah went and Kimberly soothes him, “Don’t worry about it, Babe.” (I’m so glad we have at least one team that will be shouting out “Babe” to encourage their partner)
Dustin & Kandice arrive and we very clearly hear, “I’m very auditory” as they exit the taxi. They immediately proceed to inspect a planter and listen to the crickets. But they don’t know what it means.
*insert dumb blonde joke here*
We cut to Lyn & Karlyn arriving and hearing the loudspeaker. Finally Dustin & Kandice get a clue and head in the right direction, to the chagrin of the crickets, who were enjoying the presence of someone with less brains than them.
Racers start writing down what they hear, which is this:
“Attention Racers! Taxi across the Red River to Ben Xe Gai Lam. Then, take a bus to Ben Xe Bai Chay. Then, find the Hydrofoil Harbor.”
Heading to the taxi, Lyn & Karlyn verbally tell their driver the destination. Despite the confused look on their driver’s face, they tell him to go. They leave first. But they aren’t sure where “Hydroform Tavern” is.
Dustin & Kandice also verbally tell their driver where to go. They leave second.
Tyler & James and Peter & Sarah both take their driver over to hear the destination. Smart move. Rob & Kimberly just decide to follow Tyler & James. Then they get upset as their driver loses sight of Tyler & James. They have no idea where to go and tell the driver to take them back. Rob says he’s going to freak out and Kimberly implores him not to freak out. (does she ever give him permission to freak out?)
Tom & Terry arrive.
David & Mary are on their way and Mary is really liking their taxi driver. David playfully tells her she “ain’t takin’ him home.” Then she tells the driver she loves him and he chuckles. When they arrive she tells the driver to wait for them.
Rob & Kimberly return. Rob angrily takes their stuff out of the taxi and gives the driver some money. He’s not happy and Rob yells out, “I pay you! I pay you!” He finds a different taxi and this time takes the driver over to listen to the destination.
Erwin & Godwin ask Tom & Terry if they can follow them.
Everyone gets into their taxis and we see the blurred drivers heading out. (are they embarrassed to be seen with our lovely Americans?)
Rob & Kimberly’s second driver seems to be driving in a circle, which, of course, ticks Rob off. Rob says to him, “Dude, I don’t speak your language.” He is convinced the driver is toying with them. (yes Rob, I’m sure he is) Rob is ticked and he and Kimberly start yelling, “Stop!” to the driver. He finally stops and they get out.
They take taxi driver number 3 over to listen to the directions. He seems to know where they need to go. Rob says he’s done talking to foreigners. (Good thing they won’t be going to any more foreign countries)
And to nobody’s surprise, the bus station is closed and won’t open until five. So all the angst with the taxis is for naught and Rob now can’t talk to foreigners and it didn’t do him any good. Everyone tells him that freaking out at taxi drivers only makes it worse.
Everyone is traveling on the same bus 103 miles to Halong Bay. Once there they all run to the clue box to discover a Roadblock. (a task only one person may perform, in case this is the first time you’ve ever watched and have absolutely no idea what a Roadblock is)
For this roadblock they will travel by boat to a nice 90 foot high rock which they will use mechanical ascenders to get to the top of it. There are three ascenders so it is first come first serve. Which means we have the mad dash to the boats and the gleeful passing of each other on the way. Dustin & Kandice hop into the boat that Lyn & Karlyn were nearly to and one of them cuts their leg (I’m sorry, but I have trouble telling them apart). This prompts a “they deserved it” comment from Lyn & Karlyn.
First to do the climb are David, Rob and Terry. They all struggle with the climb. Rob is first up followed by David and Terry. While they are waiting Peter calls out “encouragements” to Sarah, at one point telling her to pull out a handicap placard and tell them she’s next in line. They rappel down after receiving their clue at the top. Next to climb are Godwin, Sarah and Karlyn.
Peter continues to yell encouragements to Sarah, yelling over the instructions she is receiving on how to climb. She shouts at him to stop.
Godwin reaches the top fourth and is very shaky but he reaches the bottom without incident. Karlyn is plugging away and hears Lyn call out, “If you can have a baby with no anesthesia you can climb this rock.” and says, “She did not just say that!”
Tyler starts climbing while Sarah and Karlyn are still working on it. And Peter, in his oh-so-encouraging way, tells her to spit on him (Tyler) as he goes by her. She takes awhile to get into the groove of how to climb and after almost giving in finally gets going. Peter, meanwhile is lounging back in his boat with sunglasses and a soda. Yup, it’s rough being the encourager.
Tyler finishes fifth, followed by Karlyn and then Sarah and finally Dustin.
Upon completing the Roadblock, teams must now travel 1.3 miles by boat to the Sung Sot Cave and find the clue box inside. They must climb up from the water to reach the cave, which has many tourists milling about.
They open their clue to discover a Detour (which is a choice between two tasks, again for someone who has never before watched this show). Phil tells us the particulars of the task.
They may choose Over or Under.
They ride in a boat called a Junk out to a marked buoy and then paddle their Sampan to complete their task.
In “Over” they must paddle to a supply boat, acquire produce and deliver it to two different addresses in the nearby floating village. After getting their invoices signed they must return to the supply boat to receive their next clue.
In “Under” they must paddle to an oyster farm and pull up 30 baskets. Then they take the baskets to the pearl farmer to receive their next clue.
Rob & Kimberly find their clue first and immediately Rob asks, “What’s a junk?” to which Kimberly replies, “I don’t know, just look for yellow and white.” Precision team work here, folks.
Upon climbing into their sampan they take forever to get situated. Kimberly changes seats several times and they yell at each other. Rob says he’s never rowed before. (we never would have guessed) They have chosen “Under”.
Tom & Terry are second to arrive and begin the task, after lounging on the deck of their junk. They choose “Under” and proclaim they don’t know how to row a boat, which they quickly demonstrate.
David & Mary, upon opening their clue, immediately choose “Over” because David is scared of deep water. He thinks he will have to go under the water himself. Mary tells us, “We’ve never been in a real, live ocean. Water over your heard, if you fell in you’re dead.” Lovely bit of poetry. They end up switching to “Under” because it is less paddling.
Also choosing “Under” are Erwin & Godwin, Tyler & James, and Peter & Sarah. Dustin & Kandice originally choose “Over” but ending up switching after deciding it was closer to do “Under”. Lyn & Karlyn choose “Over”.
No one seems to know how to row. We get multiple shots of the teams trying to row and failing. Eventually they figure out since they manage to reach their destinations.
During the rowing adjustment period Sarah attempts to encourage Peter and he snaps at her to shut up because he needs to concentrate.
Dustin & Kandice have a very rough time of it and complain about the wind. They are crying and say that this sucks.
Rob & Kimberly finish first despite their arguing. They get their clue which tells them to paddle to their junk, which will take them 9 miles to the pit stop at Soi Sim Island. Kimberly informs us that the race has intensified their arguing. (thanks for that revelation, we would never have guessed!)
They find Phil, wearing a “safety” orange shirt.
Rob & Kimberly, you are team number one.
They each win a jet ski. He asks them if they’re being nice to each other. I snicker as Rob says they’re both competitive and need to learn to chill.
Back with our expert rowers, Lyn & Karlyn are working their way to the floating village. They think it’s cool. They don’t seem to have any problem finding the two addresses.
Peter yells at Tom & Terry for being too close to them and shoves their boat away. He’s acting rather territorial.
Tom & Terry can’t find any baskets by the yellow balls (as my ten-year-old shouts that the baskets are on the black ones)
Lyn & Karlyn finish their task but battle the wind on the way back to the supply boat to get their clue. They’re up against the rocks.
Peter & Sarah finish and are on the junk. Sarah tells us her feelings for Peter have changed and she doesn’t like the way he is treating her. She talks about him in front of him and he just sits there like she isn’t even speaking.
Peter & Sarah, you are team number two.
Tyler & James are moving slowly in their junk until they discover the anchor was not pulled up. They get it pulled up.
Tyler & James, you are team number three.
Erwin & Godwin, you are team number four.
David & Mary are on their way to the pit stop and Mary spots Phil’s orange shirt. She calls him a “scrawny, gorgeous thing.” David & Mary, you are team number five.
While Lyn & Karyln are on their way to the pit stop, fretting that they are last, Dustin & Kandice row around trying to find the pit stop, having lost/damaged their clue.
*insert dumb blonde joke here*
Cue Tom & Terry reading their clue out loud about taking their junk to the pitstop. I laugh at the blondies paddling around needlessly. (and it’s still a struggle for them to paddle) Both teams are exhausted.
Dustin & Kandice finally guess they should go back to their junk and let it take them to the pitstop. Tom & Terry are up against the rocks yelling for help but then Tom gets out of the boat and starts pulling it along while swimming.
Lyn & Karlyn, you are team number six.
On their junk, Dustin & Kandice argue about who has the clue. They pull multiple clue envelopes out of their packs and never find it. Dustin cries that it’s always her fault. Kandice hugs her as she cries some more.
Dustin & Kandice, you are team number seven.
Tom & Terry finally make it to the junk, Tom pulling the boat the whole way. They finally make it to the pitstop and reach an extremely serious-faced Phil. Is he just trying to be serious to make them think they’re eliminated? Is this a non-elim round? Nope.
Tom & Terry, you’re the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you have been eliminated from the race.
Tears. You’re so wonderful. More tears. Good-bye Tom & Terry.
Next week we have alligators. We’re told Dustin & Kandice brave a detour but we’re shown Dustin & Kandice freaking out.
Sarah wonders if she’s a one-person team. (we’ve known for a long time that she is) She tells Peter she’s not having fun with him. We haven’t been having fun with him either.
Tune in next week to find out if the blondes get eaten by an alligator. (we can assume not since it probably would have been in the news)