Joe Millionaire - Episode 6 Summary

'The Recrap Revue' By PepeLePew13

Bebo got us started with her take on the 20 smiling beauties arriving at the chateau.

The Miss Clueless Golddigger competition began and let's begin the parade. And what would a parade be without clowns? In this case, we have some extremely sissified footmen driving the girls in two by two.

Girl #1: OhmyGod! It's a freakin' chateau!
Girl #2: OhmyGod! I can't believe I'm here! I feel like a princess!
Girl #1 (confessional): I definitely expect to marry a man with a large...paycheck.
Girl #2 (confessional): At this point in my life, I'm desperate for a man to save me from my miserable life because...
...I live in a pit.
...Because I had a plan to be married by the time I was 23, and damn it, I'm 24!
...I'm tired of paying for dates because I've been going out with cheap men.

Repeat 10 times. I'm not wasting the space. They were introduced too quickly for me to take down all of their names, but just do what I do - when in doubt, call her Melissa.

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Then we’re shown scenes from group dates – I’ll let Bucky Katt tell us how one particular date went:

The first flock of 4 consists of Dana, Melissa, Sarah and Brandy and the five of them are off. Evan tells us in a voiceover that he has some work for them as he wants to see who can handle a situation where the going gets tough as his life isn’t full of many comforts. Translation: I have no furniture.

It is a cold and rainy morning, and once they arrive at the vineyard the women are instructed to pick grapes that are used to make wine. Is this something you really need to know if they can do Evan? Or are you simply trying to determine which one of them can handle small round objects the best. Too bad there aren’t any banana trees in France.

Heidi doesn’t get the rose and says “whatever.” Yes, this has been shown in the opening of each of the last few episodes, but it’s worth it just to mention this again.

Sara-ho and Smilissa huddle up by the window to see another girl going on her date with Evan and Smilissa calls her “a little slut.” Pot. Kettle. Black. That’s a bit like Hannibal Lecter telling us we shouldn’t eat hamburgers because it’s bad for our health.

Evan goes on dates in the French Riviera with each of the three remaining girls, scores a kiss with each of them (and more, much more with two of them), then complains about living a lie and facing the prospect of having to tell them about his true identity – oh and you didn’t see anything wrong with getting hot’n’heavy with three girls at once? Must be reassuring to your future wife to know that you don’t have a problem with sharing your bed with multiple partners.

Now Evan must choose.

Paul: Personally I find it rather frightening. First, he must make his final selection. Will it be Sara-ho or Zzzora? Then he must reveal the truth. Let’s wish him well, shall we?

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