Previously on Survivor... Ulong sucked again, Steph beat BJ at fire starting, BJ went home.
Night 21... Stephenie is the sole survivor. Well, of the Solong tribe anyway. She is talking to the cameraman since there are no other loser tribe mates left. Poor Steph is sobbing and scared, it’s OK really, no harm will come to you, even Mark Burnett’s insurance won’t cover accidental death and if Tom didn’t get killed hacking that great white with the machete, nothing will happen to you either.
“I’m so afraid to fall asleep. I can’t let the fire go out, I don’t know if I could get it started again.” Apparently she used what few pyromaniac skills she had at the last challenge.
In her half asleep, half awake state she conjures the spirits of Survivor losers past.
“Stephenie, it’s me Gretchen from Survivor Borneo. I was on the Pagong tribe, I’m here to offer you a little advice.”
Steph squints at the apparition, “OK, what is that?”
”As you know, my tribe was the first to be systematically voted out by the Tagi tribe because I was too stubborn to form a tribal alliance. My advice is go for the sly gay guy the first chance you get. There are rats on this island, but there are snakes too, and you don’t want that snake to get a hold of the million dollars. This is crucial, oust him now or face the torch snuffer.”
Steph tosses and turns and rolls a little closer to the fire for warmth. Still half delirious she hears another voice and can see the gray shadow outline of a man with several days beard growth on his face.
Hi Steph, it’s me Andrew from the Pearl Islands. I was the leader of the most pathetic and ridiculous tribe in Survivor history until Ulong came along, for that I thank you for taking the monkey off my back. People will forget what a quitter Osten was, and how much of a whiner I was, and that instead of doing something to better our life on the island all we Morgan’s ever did was complain. The only thing that people will remember now is Ulong and what a group of losers.”
Steph groggily mumbled, “I hate to lose, it isn’t in my blood.”
”I know, but that is your fate. You have no chance, you must just give up now, you know you can’t win.”
She violently thrashes and yells, “I won’t, I won’t quit, I won’t give up!”
Camera man #2 shakes his head “This is a first, we never get to see a person hallucinate on this show.”
Morning finally arrives and Steph wakes to greet the day, unsure of what is ahead of her. She tries to get a coconut out of the tree by whacking it with a bamboo pole, but doesn’t quite have BJ’s technique of whacking, he was very good at that. Then she decides it is best to go get the coconut, so she climbs that puppy like a monkey and lickety split, has herself some breakfast.
Next she goes to check tree mail and is very excited to learn that she is leaving camp Solong for the sharks and rats at Koror. Through her tears she packs all of her belongings (including her Home Depot tool box) and sets her canoe afloat for the journey to her new home, and her old friends that she must now get to know all over again. “So long Solong.” And she is gone.
Over at Koror, Coby has a bad case of PMS. He has turned into a total biotch and is just so fed up with everyone on his tribe. I think it is safe to say that the feeling is mutual.
Ian sees Stephenie arriving and they all run down to the beach to greet and hug the newest member of Koror. Steph hands over the glass jar and the tree mail note, inside is her new brown buff. No new merge name, no new merge buff, carp what a rip off!