Average Joe 2: Hawaii - Episode 5 Summary

'The Best Defense is a Good Offense' By tig_ger

a) Uglier than the line-up of (below) Average Joes in bathing suits
b) Uglier than Larissa’s attitude on the first night of this show
c) Uglier than cockiness of the Himbos
d) Uglier than the words Michael C & Fredo use to describe Larissa
e) All of the above
f) A-C; there is nothing as ugly as men who will use these words to describe a woman on National Television

Unfortunately, this probably won’t be a summary. By definition a summary should cover the main points succinctly. I have never been succinct in my life. Anyway, previously on Average Joe…

Read Silver Star’s entertaining summary. The himbos arrive. The (below) Average Joes freak out. They show the fight between the (below) Average Joes and the himbos. Brian Worth says something. I’m from California. I need subtitles. It went something like: Nobawdy is goig to cum eento my hawse and push me or eany of mai buddies aw-rond.

They then show clips from the Dodge Ball Game from last week—the one with the Shirts and Skins--because we wouldn’t have been able to tell the teams apart by the different color of shorts they were wearing. Imagine the outrage if this were Average Jane. And you thought the Super Bowl half time show was racy.

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I love this show. It encompasses everything I despised about high school. So, some notes got passed back and forth in home room. This one appears to be from Larissa, because it is folded a little origami shape. (And yes, for you guys that were wondering, there is a secret class on note folding for the girls only.)

Dear Production Crew:

The last two weeks, you haven’t let me eliminate anyone. I am getting sick of some of these guys. I can’t remember some of the Himbos’ names. I can’t remember which of the (below) Average Joe’s I’ve already kissed. 16 is too many men to date. Help! Please let me eliminate some of these guys. Please, please, please. I promise I’ll do anything. I’ll even kiss some more (below) Average Joe’s. And I’ll keep around some of the Himbos that have interesting personalities, even though they have no chance in he!! of ever getting to second base with me.

I’ll even show up at your place around midnight. Tonight? Let me know.

SWAK,
Larissa

Larissa receives a note from the producers of the show, rolled up and placed on the inside of a Bic ball point pen. That way, when Larissa asks to borrow a pen, nobody (besides us) notices. It reads:

Dear Larissa,

The (below) Average Joes are feeling insecure. Half of them have asked us if they could leave because they don’t think they stand a chance against the himbos you keep kissing.

Will you please go spend some time with them and perk them up a little bit?

If you do that, we will let you vote off 6 of these guys this week.

Love,
The Production Staff

PS After that, come to my place around midnight. Wear something comfortable. A hot tub will be involved.

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