Survivor: All Stars - Episode 7 Summary

'The Cheese Stands Alone' By dangerkitty

Mogo Mogo - Day 19

We open with scenes of birds. Beautiful, colorful birds. Happy, happy birds.

Abruptly, we are ripped from this charming montage to images of Jerri first thing in the morning. Filthy, disheveled Jerri. Bitchy, bitchy Jerri.

Jerri: Oh my god. <click>

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Shii Ann: Jerri bitches all day long. Bitch, bitch, bitch. She complains all the time. I just hate that.

Kathy appears to agree, but can’t get a word in edgewise.

Shii Ann: I know every single thought in her brain because it’s coming out of her mouth. Talk, talk, talk. She talks all the time. I just hate that.

Kathy: Jerri is not so much a bad seed as an annoying seed. And when you plant an annoying seed, you end up with a big pain-in-the-ass tree covered in irksome flowers and irritating leaves. Which pretty much describes this tribe.

Interspersed throughout these comments are shots of Jerri yawning. Thank goodness there is no “Smell-O-Vision”, because I can almost see the stench emitting from her gaping maw. As a matter of fact, I can see it coming up through her esophagus, she opens her mouth so damn wide.

Colby: Jerri hasn’t changed one iota since Australia. I don’t think she’s changed her bikini bottoms, either. Ewww. But that’s okay, because I know that Jerri is not going to win this game.

Oh please oh please oh please do NOT let this be the “Key Confessional.” Oh my god. <click>

Kathy and Shii Ann splash about in the water and make fun of Jerri.

Kathy: (mock Southern accent) Ah sweah, that woman is such a beeyotch!

They laugh with delight as we see Jerri alone on the beach. Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha!

Kathy: I love slam-dunkin‘ people.

Wow, Kathy, yeah, that was just hilarious. Scathing wit with impeccable comic timing. Gee, you should take your show on the road. Maybe you’ll get a chance to later in the episode.

We see Jerri again, with the girls’ mocking laughter ringing in her ears, and we almost feel sorry for her. Hey, I said “almost.” Oh, who am I kidding, it wasn’t even close.

Jerri: My strategy of being the non-threatening, zen-like, easygoing Jerri who is just here to have fun is working.

Uh, Jerri - next time, stay away from the green acid. The green acid is bad.

Chapera

They have tree mail! It’s a puzzle! It’s for immunity! Is it a merge? Why is it an IC already?

I’ll tell you why. If they don’t have the damn IC right away, somebody else is likely to quit first. MB no likey when people mess up his nice plans.

Rupert: If Ethan is their best diver, we’ve got them whooped hands down. If there is any running or knot untying involved, though, I’m not so sure.

Jenna: Ethan is strong in the challenges but he FREAKS…OUT!

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