Teresa Giudice admits she begged Bravo not to air the scene in which her husband Joe Giudice called her "my bitch wife" and a "c-nt" while he was allegedly on the phone with a worker during Sunday night's The Real Housewives of New Jersey episode.

Teresa says she had no idea he had made those comments until Bravo released a preview clip of the scene -- which featured Joe excusing himself from dinner and having the private conversation while they were celebrating Caroline Manzo's 50th birthday in Napa Valley with her fellow Housewives co-stars a year ago -- a couple weeks ago.

"I hadn't seen it... Once I got a copy and watched it, I was sick. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. It has not been a good couple of weeks," Teresa wrote in her blog on Bravo's website.

"Of course I begged Bravo not to air it, but when you sign up for a TV show, you sign up to show everything, warts and all. The good and the bad. Kind of like that other promise: for better or for worse. Welcome to the 'worse.'"

Teresa was very hurt when she discovered her husband would say those things about her.

"I can't make any excuses for what Joe said... He doesn't talk like that to me at home, he's never called me that name before, and he doesn't remember saying it. But it's not right. It hurt my feelings, and it was horrible to watch it play out on national TV," she explained.

"Why did he say it? I have no idea. I do know we were in the wine capital of America drinking heavily... Alcohol + camera = not a good idea. But believe me, if he talked to me like that regularly, we would not be together. I don't know why the camera (and alcohol) brings out the worst in him... it just does."

While there's been speculation Joe was actually talking to another woman on the phone -- which would seemingly help explain his harsh, defensive reaction in which he called Teresa a "retard" and "pain in the ass" when she approached him and asked whom he was speaking with -- Teresa clearly believes it was a work-related call.

"He did have problems with his work back home, and we left our kids behind in a hurricane... But no matter what the circumstances were, it's not OK that he talked to me like that. It's not OK for our relationship, it's not OK as an example for our daughters, it's not how I want to be spoken to or will be spoken to by anyone," the reality TV star wrote.

Joe "does feel terrible" and has "apologized" for his actions, according to Teresa, who explained in her blog that Jersey guys are "animals" as justification. Teresa said she's aware most of them treat women poorly and therefore finds it strange she and other girls put up with it. However, Teresa wrote she'd rather have her husband be real and honest than act like a gentleman to her face and cheat behind her back.

Despite Joe's nasty insults, Teresa insisted she and her husband are doing just fine now.

"The truth is Joe and I are happy together now. He's a great dad and a great husband and we still really like each other. He's not perfect, I'm not perfect, but you put up with each other's faults for the good of the whole," she wrote in her Bravo blog.

"Should I break up my family and leave him because he called me an ugly name a year ago? My pride wants to of course, but I don't think that's the right or responsible thing to do. People don't stay married for decades without bumps in the road. So this is a pretty big bump, but I'm hanging on."