Episode 9 begins with the five remaining teams departing from a castle in Oman. Fran and Barry are the first team to depart (What bizarro world are we in?) at 5:35 PM. The teams are now flying to Perth, Australia. Fran and Barry leave BJ and Tyler some money because they have none.
Barry c-t: I think the teams see us as real competitors now. Sure, they’re younger and stronger than us, and we’ll probably get Philiminated soon, but we’ll use your travel experience and wits to our advantage.
Fact: You’re screwed.
Joseph and Monica depart second at 5:54 PM. They decide not to give the hippies any money because they’re mean.
Monica: I’ll be glad when the hippies are gone. They told us they’re going to yield us if we don’t give them money.
Joseph: So, we left them nothing.
Monica: Not smart to tell people you’re going to yield the MoJo.
Fact: Everyone is hoping the hippies do yield you, so we don’t have to hear your shrill voice.
The oldies are trying to get to the airport, but the traffic has come to a standstill. They stop at a gas station and ask the attendant if there’s another way to get to airport. The attendant says that’s the only way and that the traffic is stopped because the King is here. Thankfully, it’s not the creepy Burger King guy.
Ray and Yolanda are the third team to depart at 6:26 PM.
Yolanda: Ray and I argued a lot the last leg, and I don’t know why. Does he not want to look at my fantastic a$$ anymore?
Fact: Yolanda’s a$$ rivals J.Lo’s.
Eric and Jeremy depart fourth at 6:47 PM. The frat boys give BJ and Tyler a $100 IOU. They don’t give them actual money because the hippies aren’t two girls with huge oobies. The frat boys wonder why the other teams are giving the hippies money.
Frat boys: We want to win. Whatever it takes. It’s like trying to get into a girl’s pants.
Fact: We can’t go 10 minutes without Eric and Jeremy mentioning how much they want sex.
BJ and Tyler depart last at 8:21 PM. They are overjoyed that teams had left them money. MoJo are going down, however.
Tyler: I remember when I was young I always wanted to travel the world with the clothes on my back. I get to do that and smoke weed along the way.
Fact: I may need some of BJ and Tyler’s stash after this.
Teams arrive at the airport. MoJo finds out about a flight to Perth that connects through Dubai. They book it, as do the other lead teams.
The hippies are way behind. They decide to pick up a hitchhiker to direct them to the airport. They have to stop and get gas for $3 a gallon. Their hitchhiker gets them some food, which they’ll need later when they get the munchies.
The other teams are now boarding. They are confident the hippies won’t make it. The hippies finally make it and try to make it on the plane. They do and quickly run to catch it. They make it and the other teams are shocked and disgusted the hippies are there.
Fact: I wonder how anyone can hate BJ and Tyler. I thought everyone loved hippies.
The teams are now flying to Perth. Once there, they will take a taxi to Kings Park and find the State War Memorial where they will find their next clue. The frat boys pass MoJo on the way. MoJo comments that something stinks.
Fact: That’s MoJo’s personality.
The hippies are counting the money they made on the flight. Meanwhile, the oldies have run into some bad luck, as they seem to hit every red light.
The frat boys find the memorial first. They have to take a ferry to Rottnest Island. The other teams also find the memorial. The frat boys get to the ferry station but it doesn’t open until 7:30 AM. (Bunch point alert) The hippies and Ray/Yolanda take a charter bus to the ferry station.
The frat boys, MoJo, and the oldies decide to stay at a backpacker’s hotel. The oldsters are staying in a room called the Pleasure Dome.
Barry: This race has ruined our sex life.
Fact: I threw up my lunch after hearing that.
The next morning, the teams take the ferry to Rottnest Island. Then, they have to ride a tandem bike to the lighthouse. Most of the teams are having trouble and are clearly not Lance Armstrong.
The frat boys make it to the lighthouse first. It’s a Detour. The choices are Sand or Sea. In Sand, teams must drag 40 large branches to a marked sand dune. This is called “brushing the beach” and is common in Australia.
In Sea, teams must search through crayfish traps to find live crayfish. They must bring two back to a fisherman who will give them their next clue.
Fact: We’ve had WAY too many searching tasks this season.