It seems only fitting that I lose my summary virginity to a show where the purest don't last long. And Charlie O'Donnell, a virtual unknown and look a like to Big Brother Jerry, shall be the one who I pretend to lust after. Like many of you, I wasn't too keen on a new season of the Bachelor so soon after .... umm... who were they again? Byron and Mary? Trista and Ryan? Blob and.....? Oh yes, that's right.....Jenn and her manager. But, this season captured me and lured me back in. The first episode was great. The 2 minute speed dating caught me off guard and had me laughing my @$$ off. And Charlie actually has a sense of humor.
And with that, bring on Episode Two!
We all know we have 12 girls left....and the tension is already beginning to invade. Krisily is mad at Kerry, Kerry doesn' t know why, Krisily thinks Kerry is intimidated by her .... and here comes Round 1 of "She Said, She Said."
Shot of Charlie in the apartment sorting through pics of the girls.....He's adding sunglasses to Danushka's picture and making her pic fight with the rest of the girls. I find this mildly amusing....and a bit disconcerting. I'd have thought the producers would take away the pictures of the girls gone by.
Host Chris arrives at the girls apartment. He tells them there will be two individual dates this week and a 10-person group date. But there's a "dangerous" twist: the (cue Twilight Zone music) sudden death one-on-one date. At the end of each one-on-one date, Charlie has the option of giving out a rose. If he doesn't, the Bachelorette must go home right then and there. Right. Then. and. There. The idea stuns the women into silence. Wait a minute. Rewind. Yep, they really are silent.
We get a glimpse into the girls' morning routine with Megan receiving the first Sudden Death one on one date phone call. Charlie invites her out for dinner, and of course, she accepts. The girls ask where she is going and Megan says she doesn't know. She likes the element of surprise. In confessional, she says she knows she's either going home or back to the house. Hot dog! Give that girl a Bachelor Diploma. She's smarter than she looks. Megan also mentions that she needs to spice things up. Charlie appears to be very interested in blondes, so she's decided to get her hair done. Charlie will be taking out a blonde tonight.
Oh my......the previews were actually truthful. No mis-direction from ABC on this one, boys and girls. Megan really is going to dye her hair. Are we ready for the excitement? After we return from the commercials, we'll get to see it all. Hang on to your hats!
Back in the teeny, tiny, summer camp room.....I wonder...are they treating this like Big Brother? As someone is evicted, do they remove a bed? Will they eventually get real beds or will they be sleeping on concrete and metal for the entire show? Hmmm.. Sorry, back in the summer camp room, Megan is packing. So is Sarah W. Sort of. Sarah picks up a few items from her suitcase, throws them back in and says "Me too." Huh? Did I miss something? Megan takes her overstuff suitcase, embroidered with her name, and sets it by the door. And in confessional, we hear these words - "Tonight, if I receive a rose, I'm safe through the rose ceremony. If I don't, I'm going home." Holy carp! She's genious. Valedictorian of her class, most obviously.
And in walks the "Top Notch Hairstylist" from Manhattan, Cesar. Cesar has watched one too many episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. There are feather/scarf thingies hanging from the back of his fedora. And he's wearing a wool (?)overcoat. Mind you, I have been suspended in a New York summer with the girls outfits, so his coat and hat came as a bit of a shock when compared to bikinis and halter tops. Cesar sets Megan in a chair and goes to work. This seems to have taken quite a bit of the day - or the editing leads us to believe that the ugly brunette duckling is being transformed into The Swan. And I'm being led to believe the producers of this season are trying to tie in every reality show ever filmed.
And in yet ANOTHER confessional, Megan tells us that by doing her hair blonde, she's taking a risk but at the same time she has to live a little and put herself out there even more so that her personality shines through. EXCUSE ME!??!! Has champagne moved from rose ceremonies to breakfast? What is this girl thinking? Seriously....her personality? Shining through? That's what the hair dying experience is all about? Oooooh-tay.
And with that, we are introduced to the new, blonde Megan. A chorus of "Oh my Gods" fill the room, followed by several "You look greats"...and Megan is off for her dinner date with Charlie. And for once, I agree with Krisily (or Krisileech or Prissily or...), when she says "I am so confused about why Megan dyed her hair. I know she can be insecure in some ways, but please don't dye your hair to get a guy. I honestly don't think Megan is going to get a rose tonight and if she doesn't, I think we all know why." Foreshadowing? Nope. This isn't Survivor. We're going to change the rules. No spoiling needed here folks.
And then we see Charlie.....He's taking Megan to his friend's restaraunt. He thinks, ummm, it will make us both more comfortable. He goes there a lot. Ummm...It's the first date so ummm....he has no idea what to expect. Well, ummm...I think he's going to have a very dull night if he doesn't buy a clue or three at the neighborhood Wal-Mart prior to this date. As the blond steps off the elevator, Charlie says "I was waiting for Megan." Well, guess the clues weren't on sale. Or big brother Jerry wouldn't foot the bill. Ah well. Maybe by next episode. The look on Charlie's face though? Priceless.