We start the show with previews and a reminder of things that has happened on the previous shows. BLAH BLAH BLAH! We all know what happened and if you don’t you can read the summaries here: Episode 1, Episode 2, and Episode 3. They were written by greeneyes, txmomma26 and DebCapsFan respectively. These summaries are great reads and a great way of getting caught up-to-date!
Charlie is packing a backpack getting ready for a picnic and horseback riding date with Sarah B. Charlie says that the girls keep asking him what he is looking for but he doesn’t know what that is! Um Charlie, if you don’t know what you are looking for, why the hell are you on a dating show trying to find a mate? I hope he finally comes to his senses and finds what he is looking for but I don’t think he will find it in this batch of skanks left on this show.
Charlie goes to the house to get Sarah B. and she appears in her funeral home best! She has on a black coat and black hat that would make the Grim Reaper happy. She has a pink scarf around her neck to match the pink ribbon wrapped around her hat. How cute! Now that we know Sarah B. can accessorize or at least the gay man in charge of wardrobe, we are off to a farm for the date. The thing that bothers me about the date is that they go out to a farm with about 6 inches of snow on the ground!
Sarah B. is nervous as she says that she has been bucked off horses before. Sarah clearly has never been around horses as she is terrified of them and is very reluctant to get near the thing much less ride it! (I am talking about the horse…get your mind out of the gutter)! Sarah finally gets on the horse but every time the horse so much as moves she screams WHOA! Charlie hopes her butt doesn’t get sore and Sarah says that she isn’t going to be on it long enough to get sore! (Again, talking about the horse…get that dirty mind out of the gutter!) Sarah is correct, she rides the horse a grand total of 33 seconds! Sarah rode that horse about as long as men like to lie around and hug after having sex!
Meanwhile back at the ranch, the other girls decide to go to the spa and get manicures/pedicures and all hell breaks loose! Sarah W. and Krisily get into a huge argument that stemmed from Krisily asking Sarah W. why she told Sarah B. that she (Sarah B.) would not get a rose on her date with Charlie. Sarah W. tells Krisily that she hopes Charlie doesn’t end up with her (Krisily) because she is whoreable (no, that is correct) and mean! Krisily says that Sarah W. is the ONLY reason that Krisily has ever wanted to leave the house. Krisily stomps out as she has had enough! Someone needs to tell these two ladies that they are not on The Contender and are there to meet a man.
The picnic will take place in the barn around some bales of hay. Sarah B. tells Charlie that she was once engaged but hasn’t had a relationship in a while. Charlie tells Sarah that he met his last girlfriend two summers ago and they still talk. Come on Charlie…call it what it is…a booty call! What man doesn’t like sex without strings? GEEZ!
Sarah B. gets a rose and will be taking Charlie to meet her family. Sarah proceeds to tell Charlie that Sarah W. told her the final four and Sarah B. wasn’t one of the four. Charlie is very surprised and upset about it! He doesn’t understand why Sarah W. would say things like that. Hey Charlie…once a bitch always a bitch.
Sarah W., in a confessional, says that if she doesn’t get a rose at the next ceremony Charlie is making a huge mistake. However, if Krisily gets a rose Charlie is in trouble! Sarah, none of the ladies left are worthy of dating Charlie!
A group date with no roses! Charlie takes the ladies fencing. Good GAWD! This is exactly what he should do…put weapons in the hands of women that hate each other. Krisily or Sarah W. will end up a bloody mess on the floor.
The women are given lessons on the basics of fencing. While some of the lessons are going on Krisily pulls Charlie aside to tell him that Sarah W. is a liar and that she isn’t there for the right reasons. Like sand through the hourglass so are the days of our lives! Charlie then pulls Sarah W. aside and asks what gives? Sarah says things like this happened to her all the time in high school. Exactly Sarah, you are out of high school and should start acting like it! Sarah cries and gets Charlie to give her a hug!
Chris appears and tells everyone that there is going to be an individual date up for grabs! Chris and one of his best friends, Paulo will be judges and whoever battles Charlie the best will win the date! Charlie is doomed, as one of these idiots will stab him before it is over. Charlie beats the carp out of these women as Chris says it is like “swatting flies”. I can’t really explain exactly how things go down because it appears Charlie’s package is nicely displayed in his little white fencing uniform! Not bad
Not to be out done, Krisily waits until last to go and then proclaims that she is claustrophobic. What does hating gays have to do with fencing…oh wait that’s homophobic! Krisily is afraid to put on the helmet. Chris tells Krisily she doesn’t have to fence Charlie and she says she will do it. With Krisily out of the way, Chris and Paulo make their decision…Anitra will get the date.
HOLD ON! This is the first time Anitra has really been shown this episode. In case you don’t know who she is…
With no rose on the line, Charlie and Anitra go out to eat and this is where we find out that they are opposites. Let me put it this way:
Anitra: Will eat even if not hungry. She loves to eat. Charlie: Eating isn’t a big deal. Sometimes forgets to eat.
Anitra: Has a huge sweet tooth. Charlie: Doesn’t like sweets.
Anitra: Always cold. Charlie: Always hot.
Do I need to go on? I guess we know one person that isn’t getting a rose at the next rose ceremony!
Charlie surprises the ladies with a visit to find some of them still in bed. They are all just relaxed and they are getting to know each other until Charlie tells them he is hungry and wants some breakfast. All the girls are in the kitchen cooking away EXCEPT Krisily. Krisily pulls Charlie outside for a little one-on-one. Of course Sarah W. is urinated off AGAIN! Good grief this is getting out of hand. I am tired of seeing these two bitch about each other.
Chris arrives to tell them that the rose ceremony will begin immediately! Charlie and the girls are caught off guard. The rose ceremony begins with Sarah B. sitting on the couch with her rose and there are 3 more roses but 5 ladies. The first rose goes to Kimberly. The second rose goes to Sarah W.. The last rose goes to Krisily. URGH! We have to put up with the bitching even longer!
Anitra and Kindle will be going home.
Next week? Charlie goes to each of the girls’ hometown to meet the families.