The Bachelor 7 - Episode 1 Summary

'No Gowns, No Rules, Little Class' By greeneyes

This season on the bachelor will be different, just ask Chris Harrison the host. He will tell you about 50 times to expect the unexpected.

Our bachelor this time is 29 year old Charlie O'Connell. He has done some acting, mainly with his brother, Jerry. (Jerry was in the movie Jerry Maquire, and on Crossing Jordan.) No trouble seeing the family resemblance with these two, at all.

Charlie wanted more reality, gee what do you mean? Don’t tell me that renting out the Hollywood Bowl, concerts with Vanessa Williams, and Cinderella type carriage rides aren’t part of everyone’s reality, every day.

They are again in New York, which is where Charlie lives part time. The mantra that Chris stated at the beginning of the show was "No limos, no gowns, and no rules."

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So first, the 25 girls get woken up in their hotel rooms, and are told they have five minutes to be ready, and get to the ball room. This will be the first meeting with Jerry, oops I mean Charlie.

The girls freak out, and call it bizarre and crazy. They rush out of their rooms in various states of dress, some fully clothed, like they had been up for hours, and one just runs out in a bikini.

Then there is Danushka,

She was wearing a jogging suit with dark sunglasses. Obviously, she felt in no hurry. She is slowly walking, and said "I don't run for men". And referred to how bad it was to be woken up early.(One of the room clocks showed 8:34 am, I didn't realize that was that early. But looking at Danushka, she probably had a rough night.)

The girls are then treated to a video of Charlie's life, with clips including big brother Jerry and the house they also share in California. We also got to meet the parents. Charlie said that he was looking for a nice, fun girl, who likes to laugh. Dad added that his mother would not approve of floozies. (Sorry, Charlie, that knocks about half of your field out already.) As for the girls, they seem excited. I’m not sure if they realize, it’s only Charlie, not both Charlie and Jerry that will be there. No girls, this is not like last season where you had to choose between the men.

Chris decided that it was finally time for the girls to meet Charlie in person. Since first impressions are so important, they each got two minutes to talk with Charlie and he had two roses to hand out during this speed dating session.

First girl was Anitra

She is a 29 year old make up artist from Manhattan Beach, CA. she showed up in a little wrap, that looked much like a bath towel, with two little straps holding it around her neck. He liked her nose ring, and asked if she had any tattoos, she said yes. However, she couldn't show him since she didn't want to hike up her "towel". Thank goodness, we must keep this show PG-13 since it is on Disney owned ABC, after all.

Carrie, 27, computer specialist from Minneapolis. Her into line was "friends don't shake hands, friends hug." (Whatever. Although, I do give her credit for trying to get a good feel of his body that quickly.)

Jenny, 23, marketing specialist from Canada. Brought in champagne glasses, and toasted to new adventures. She then challenged Charlie to chug it. Then complained about the cold, so she snuggled up next to him. (I guess her idea is to charm the guy, get him drunk, and then make your move, so he doesn't even realize what's happening. Just may work, we'll see.) Charlie then revealed a deep dark secret, that he has always wanted to be a member of the A-team.

Kristen, a 30 year old first grade teacher from Boston. All we learn during her time is that she loves kids, and that Charlie's mother is also a teacher.

Brenda is a sales coordiantor from New York City. She told Charlie that she owned a motorcycle. He asked if she wore a helmet, could pop a wheelie, and if she wanted a hug. (My only comment on her was when was the last time she had a good hair cut -- her hair style reminded me of Leather Tuscadaro from Happy Days, only longer)

Kristina, a 27 year old writer from Brooklyn. She went on the Bachelor because someone else was picking the perfect guy, and she hoped he was it for her. She felt like she needed to be unforgettable during her two minutes, and that she failed. (She was kind of cute, but I say buh-bye already.)

Kimberly, a swimsuit model from Canada. She plopped down on Charlie's lap. She mentioned that she is Ukranian, and that she can cook. (Yeah, right. he really cares that you can cook or what your nationality is, when you're sitting on his lap, and your shirt is unbuttoned to see your bra, and your cleavage, as large a Pamela Anderson's, is stuck in his face.)

Krisily, is a bartender, dancer, Harley riding girl, that can be a little b#t#hy at times. (This is all according to her.) Charlie noticed a tattoo, on her back as she left, and reprimanded himself for forgetting to ask about tattoos. He feels like a girl getting a tattoo is a good sign, and that she is willing to make mistakes, but doesn't know about getting them removed. (Okay, Charlie, sweetie, you lost me on that. Not sure how that means she is willing to make a mistake, care to decipher for me?)

Kyshawn, yet another bartender. She is from Nashville. This was a strange conversation. She asked tattoos or piercings. Charlie said piercings. He asked bad breath or snotty nose. She responded snotty nose is better. He then asked her to check his breath, which she said was fine. That was it.

Siomara, a loan officer from Chicago. They spoke some Spanish.

Emilie, is a 27 year old, technology salesperson from Chicago. Their time was spent doing thumb wars. If she won, she would have gotten the first rose. She lost, so didn't get a rose. (Foreshadowing perhaps? Why on earth would you think playing thumb war with a hot guy you just met will impress him?)

Debby, a 25 year old, flight attendant from Canada. She gave Charlie a samba lesson. (I honestly don't know what he was trying to do, but it looked more like Irish clog dancing than samba.)

Sarah W., a fashion designer from LA. Charlie complimented her eyes. She said that she was into extreme sports like snowboarding, downhill mountain biking. He must have wanted proof, so she shows some scars. And for that, she was rewarded with the first rose of the season.

When Sarah walked out, she got the looks from hell. Can you see the cat fights brewing here already.

Kristine, another swimsuit model. She wasted no time in letting us know this. She stipped out of her little black dress, and had nothing on but a hot pink bikini. She joined Charlie on the couch, and pulls a piece of paper from her top. (Now isn't that just classy?) The paper contained an absolutely horrible poem that she wrote for him. As she was reading the poem, he laid his head on her shoulder. (He said the poem made him a bit uncomfortable, but there was no way he was getting off of the couch -- well, duh! How many men would?) She doesn't get a rose, but he pulls a flower off of a plant, and she gave him her bikini top. (Which she pulled off from under her dress. Again classy, classy, classy.)

Geitan, a 30 year old realtor from Newport Beach, CA. Walked in clucking like a chicken. (At least it was original, but that's best I can say it.) She sat on his lap, and said that she was on a farm, and decided to imitate the chicken, for no reason.

Katie, a 25 year old resort accountant from Tempe, AZ. She wasn't aggressive or anything, yeah right. As soon as she sat down, she said she wanted to kiss him. His face said it all, it must have been horrible. He didn't feel anything, but thanked her for the kiss.

Gina Marie, she is from Fort Lauderdale, and is a bartender. She is a former NFL cheerleader, so Charlie challenged her to a kick contest. Sad thing is that he won.

Valerie, a 28 year old executive assistant from Wayne, NJ. She was wearing a very short top, so he noticed a beely button ring, right away. So he asked about tattoos, she then proceded to inch her jeans down, and show him. As he described it, it was downtown. But obviously not worth a rose.

Sarah B. She is a labor and delivery nurse from McKinney, TX. She trained him in some of the techniques that she uses at work to help the mothers giving birth, and so they were screaming push, and counting to 10. He really liked her, but she gave a wimpy hug, so no rose for her.

Kara, a nanny from Woodland Hills, CA. Said that she was a good girl, and brought up with Southern values. Her reply to the craziest thing she ever did was "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." He seemed to like her, and said that they would have to go to Vegas if she makes it to the end.

Kerry, a 32 year old, Director of Mergers and Acquisitions from Chicago. She looks fairly demure, but said that she is a total adventure girl. She likes water sports, but doesn't sail, so maybe he can teach her. He must want to, since he gave out his last rose to her.

Megan, she is 23 from Tallahassee. She is in retail marketing, translation -- works the counter at a clothing store. All we learn about her is that her tan is real, not fake.

Kindle, she is a pro basketball dancer. Said that she didn't have a problem dating an older man. He asked if she had a boyfriend, and she, of course, said no. (He must have watched Andrew Firestone's season, and remembered Kirsten.)

Lastly, Danushka. She is a 30 year old fashion model. He looked though her purse, since she was the only one who had one. Found that she already had taken hotel items. He felt that she was very confident.

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