In this weekís episode, we get the DVD special features. What does this mean? Welcome to The Amazing Raceís first recrap episode filled with never before seen footage.
So where shall we start? How about right from the beginning where Phil drops his arm and starts the race in Chicago? I guess it is a logical spot. It is when we are still naÔve to Jonathanís ways to Victoria. But weíll soon know better. When Jonathan makes Colin look like a saint, it says something.
So we are in Chicago, right? Yeah. Fred and Kendra are idiots. They lose their clue barely after the game starts. And Jonathan does one nice thing. He actually returns it to them.
And then the alliance talk starts. It isnít interesting alliances like in Survivor or Big Brother. Gus and Hera want to join with Hayden and Aaron and Avi and Joe. Basically the alliance is that they want to stay tight in the race and bump the other teams off. As I say, no scheming, not much strategy. Yawn.
Well, now TAR takes us to Reykjavik, Iceland. Bolo ďplaysĒ stupid to get through customs faster. Not sure what Iím talking about? Watch Eric Cartman in 8x03 Up the Down Steroid. Bolo pretends to be mentally challenged and limps around. I thought it was rather despicable myself, but then again, that could just be me.
Alrighty, we are in Iceland, so where should we go? How about one of the volcanoes? Naw, because that would be stealing from Survivor Vanuatu, so I guess we have to go to a glacier. Watching the teams leave the city is humorous. Adam and Rebecca argue about sunglasses, and Jonathan starts his scream-fest with Victoria. The teams ski-doo over to a camp-site on the glacier.
On the glacier, Lori and Bolo practice some of their moves and Jonathan is scared of them (I say GOOD!). Lori even gave Rebecca personal wrestling lessons. This is where I ask, why canít it be Victoria getting the lessons? She is the one who needs them, and besides, Rebecca could probably beat up her pansy-@$$ of a partner, Adam, without help.
Well, in the first detour of the race, the teams have a choice in climbing an ice wall or boating around the little icebergs to find a clue. Hayden and Aaron come in first at the first pitstop, while Avi and Joe were last. I guess that is already destroying that exciting alliance, eh?
Oh well. Time to meet the Hobbit Idol and fly to Oslo, Norway. And now we come to the point in the game where we learn who has driven an old farm truck and who hasnít. Meredith and Maria would be one of those teams who hasnít. It is so bad, because they are blocking the parking lot so none of the other teams can get out. Kris and Jon help them out because they do know how to drive a stick, and move them over to the side, so the other teams can pass.
Roadblock time is doing one of those zip down in the dark things. . . one of those things where anybody can do it, just that some people might be scared of doing it. Whatever.
Well, now we go to a Viking village, and watch Jonathan slam the trunk on Victoriaís head. What a classy dude, eh? Always looking out. But then at the same time, starts lecturing her about teamwork and demanding apologies. I guess Sarcodosis makes people do things like that. You have to admit that it is bad when the other teams who are trying to beat each other are commenting on Jonathan. Lena and Kristy said that they like Victoria but donít like Jonathan and find him to be too aggressive. But Jonathan is proud of himself. (I know I am taking his comments out of context, but he does the same thing.)
Lena and Kristy slept in beds that had bugs and spiders, in the Viking village, and they are totally freaking out. They sprayed the bed with insect repellent. I wonder if it helped. No, I donít. Iím not at all interested, actually.
Stealing a page from the Survivor books, TAR decided to split the teams into two big teams that would go against each other in a boat paddling race. Adam and Rebecca get into a fight when she suggests he shouldnít be wearing sunglasses and he proceeds to lose them. It turns into a big overblown argument. I think it is rather silly.
At the next detour, the teams have the choice of playing traditional Viking games or to roller ski down a hill. People fall. There isnít much else to say about that. After the detour is done, Adam and Rebecca were going to get into their car only to discover that Don and Mary Jean had taken it. Don and Mary Jean had realized their mistake and did return it, but did slow down both teams.
Stealing a page from Mirnaís books, Lena and Kristy needed to tidy up and put makeup on to look good for Phil at the pitstop. He is a Choo-Choo Charlie and a class act, after all. Kris and Jon were first to arrive at the pitstop, while Meredith and Maria, with their driving abilities, were last to arrive.
In the next leg of the race, we go to Stockholm, Sweden. On the way there, Rebecca flirted her way to a sandwich while making Adam jealous. She tried to flirt him a slice of pizza and offered him a bite of the sandwich, but he got too moody.
In Stockholm, the teams had to play curling with a shot glass and the icebar. But no sweeping. Jonathan broke the horn off the bull ice sculpture at the bar after celebrating getting his shot glass on the dot. He kinda apologized but was more worried about the fact that he made himself look like an idiot.
After the needed (?) bunching, Freddy and Kendra started arguing about money. She wanted to sleep in a hotel and not in the street. I guess sleeping in the street is a poor person activity. When Freddy got sarcastic about ordering in room service, she at least saw that room service may be a little overboard.
In a word from our sponsors, we go to the next detour in IKEA. The choices of counting inventory or build a flimsy looking computer desk are overwhelming for some teams. Jonathan, being his usual self, yells at Victoria. Aaron, of Hayden and Aaron, taunted Jonathan a bit. That team joins in the club of thinking that Jonathan has crossed a line.
Now we go over to the roadblock of unwrapping big round hay bales. Actually, it looks like straw, which would actually be lighter than hay. Most teams got through this challenge quickly. Hayden and Aaron and Kris and Jon made it to the pitstop at the same time. While Lena and Kristy kept trying to find a clue in a hay bale, Phil ended the pain. They were last and didnít even make it to the pitstop. Thatís pretty bad when they donít even get to finish the round at the pitstop. Ha ha.
Again, Kendra and Freddy argue about money. She is still bitter that he wouldnít let her sleep in a hotel but is fine with paying for a cab. She said she is worried about cleanliness and hygiene. I have news for you girlie, one day isnít going to kill you. We, as humanity, have lived in less hygienic times and we are still here. Itís not like weíve gone extinct or anything. Save your money and get down and dirty. Oh, and before you accuse me of being a male that doesnít mind living in filth, I am a female, who happens to be very neat and tidy.
So of course, you can only see where this is going when the teams go to Dakar, Senegal, in Africa. Sorry no Kenya with lions, but thisíll have to do.
Well, in Senegal, some of the teams find cabbies that they arenít too sure about, but Rebecca and Adam found one who they joked around with. They attempted to speak French. It didnít exactly work out. Ugly American Syndrome takes its ugly form in Jonathan who needs an English speaking person, and on Kendra who thinks that Africans should just stop breeding. Kris seems like a reasonable person to notice that not everybody lives like Americans and that isnít necessarily a bad thing that needs to be ridiculed. She said that if another team gets the UAS, she will be annoyed with them.
Jonathan ďseemsĒ to shake UAS the next day. He started to pass candy around to the little kids, which makes Victoria think that he would be a great dad. (This is wrong in so many ways, that I wonít even comment on that statement.)
RTVWPAGEDIVDER The detour of fishing or laying out fish happened, and then it was time for the roadblock of unloading big baskets of salt into a bigger basket. The girls got through it quite easily while Adam acted like a big wuss. When it was time to leave, some of the locals started demanding money. Lori and Bolo ended up giving $20 but were pressured to give more.
Hayden and Aaron partied it up with their cabbie. They started singing songs. It was pretty cool. And Jonathan, reverted back to UAS. He started to freak when the president of Senegal was in the city and they blocked off a few of the roads. Why should he be freaking? If the president of the US was in town, more than a couple roads would be blocked off. Oh wait, I forgot, Sarcodosis makes you unreasonable. Oh, and Senegal, is synagogue. Yep, this African nation is Jewish. Iíll just shake my head and walk away from this one.
It was time for a ferry ride to the pitstop but the presidential motorcade was slowing things down. Lori and Bolo somehow managed to get a ticket for the ferry and this made Jonathan mad because he missed the earlier one by mere seconds. He tried to convince some locals to keep them off this ferry and make them take the next boat. In the end, I donít think it worked out.
While on the ferry, Adam whined to Rebecca that she should be more supportive, etc and not ridicule him for being such a baby. It is hard to tell who is in charge in this relationship. Well, every team got on a ferry and made it to the pitstop. Don and Mary Jean were in last but werenít eliminated because it was one of those boring non-elimination rounds.
Before the teams get their next clue, they have to go through a memorial of the slavery. Gus cries and Hera realizes that this is part of her roots.
The teams are told to go to Berlin, Germany. Jonathan tries to get help from the locals again. He wants to be directed to a travel agent office. The local will help, only if Jonathan helps him. The local wrote a movie script and wants some help getting some exposure. The localís movie is about life in his country. . . about a girl who goes away. Jonathan thinks it is about a dog. No, sorry, Jonathan, it isnít a movie about a time machine and a talking pie. As much as it is a buddy pic, that isnít the point of this movie.
Kendra, who I donít think ever did get rid of UAS, is happy to get out of Africa. It is so dirty there and the people are poor and they have kids. Heaven forbid. Kris and Jon, on the other hand, were enjoying the country and took a little swim in the ocean. Kris even dragged some of the kids around in the water.
At the airport, Hayden ordered tickets for herself, Aaron, and Freddy and Kendra. This made Bolo angry and they started throwing insults at each other. Oh well, everybody made it to Berlin and had to find the east side of the remaining part of the Berlin Wall.
Jonathan gets mad at Rebecca and Adam for following them. It turns into another yelling match. Is that all that these teams can do? I can tell that they know how to push each othersí buttons. Adam says, ďWhy donít you follow us then.Ē Iím rolling my eyes. Rebecca tries to tell Adam not to keep trying to push other peopleís buttons.
Gus and Hera being, probably, the most human team this year, note how they went from one ugly part of human history (Africa and slavery) to another ugly part of history (Germany and the Berlin Wall). It is sad how we have allowed hate to take over humanity. . . truly sad.
But on a more positive note, it is time for the detour. The choices are to make 5 7Ē Bratwursts, or find their pictures on the coasters underneath the Biers. The innuendo in Wursts is overwhelming, while Gus decides to quench his thirst with some Bier. Hera tries to control her daddyís drinking but he was thirsty and this Bier canít be very strong. He figured it was only 3% and as a result, felt safe enough to drive. I think this is the time for my annual message. During this holiday season, please DO NOT drink and drive. I lost one friend to drinking and driving. I donít want to lose another.
The roadblock is next to soap-box derby down a hill. It seems like everybody handled it quite smoothly, except for Mary Jean who crashed.
After this roadblock, we get the Worst.Pitstop.Ever. If you arenít sure what Iím talking about, it is the infamous one where Freddy and Kendra and Jonathan and Victoria are racing for first and second. Jonathan wants to drop his bags so he can run faster but Victoria is afraid that the bags will be stolen so takes hers and Jonís. Freddy and Kendra come in first. Jonathan is super mad to come in second and yells at Victoria (and even pushes her) and causes Victoria to cry uncontrollably. It is so bad that Phil suggests that Jon better go talk to Victoria. Oh, and by talk, Jon interprets that as yelling and criticizing. In the end Don and Mary Jean came in last again and were actually eliminated this time around. I still think they shouldíve disqualified Jonathan and let the aged continue.
Ok, in the last sequence where TAR left us in a lurch of the infamous words, ďTo Be Continued,Ē so this sequence is important. Will they tell us what happened? Will they tell us who was eliminated (or worse non-eliminated)? I guess we should be paying attention to this sequence.
So, we head over to the Olympic Stadium used in the infamous 1936 Berlin (Hitler) games. With the needed bunching, there is another stupid wait. Kendra and Freddy get in another argument. This time it isnít about being poor or sleeping in the street (although she did complain about sitting on the cold cement). Kendra wants to use the time to study and ask locals about Germany. He said that there was no point to this because everything was probably closed.
Well, it is roadblock time. Because they decided to change the rules on roadblocks stating that no teammate is to perform more than 6 in the race, they need to have a challenge that some of the girly girls can do. Enter reverse bungee jumping. In this challenge, the cord is pulled taut and then released shooting the girl up like a rocket. Only the girls actually did this challenge. Watching Adam and Bolo psych the girls was pretty funny. They were talking about living wills and if the other people can have the food in their book bags. After finishing the challenge, the get their clues.
The teams are off to Budapest, Hungary. Once they got there, the teams saw their vehicles. The glorified clown cars are Trabants, probably the least reliable, cheap-@$$ forms of transportation out there. The ones that have AC in winter and heat in summer. Some of the other features include having the gas cap in the engine (to save room for the interior), and the gear shift on the steering wheel (again to save room for the interior). Jon (of Kris and Jon Ė not the evil Jon) managed to get fuel all over his pants and had to change into another pair. Girls, if you are curious, he wears boxers. Lori and Bolo swear at each other when trying to fill their gas tank, as well.
Jonathan (the bad Jonathan) starts feeding his ego and insults the other teams (and their intelligence). According to him, Rebecca and Adam are Hobbits. Well, I guess that would Jonathan an Orc or Shelob. While it is true, Jonathan did get out of the parking lot before Rebecca and Adam, it may not be good to tempt fate and laugh at the other teams.
Kris and Jon literally do the Flintstone thing to get going. Jon opened the door and started moving the vehicle with his feet. But you know what, it worked. Hayden and Aaron had a break down on the side of a highway. Aaron started to push the car (by himself which shows how light the vehicle is) while Hayden protested that decision. A guy did help them though. He filled up their gas can and brought it back.
After watching the hilarity of the K-Cars we see the detour. The choices are of smashing a box with a catapult, and dragging a cannon and cannon balls up a hill. Some teams tried the catapult but even they went with the cannon challenge. Freddy and Kendra completed the detour first and were able to get on the train to an internet cafť.
Lori and Bolo had more problems with their car. The engine blew so they had to wait for the extra car to arrive. The other teams made it to the internet cafť but Lori and Bolo werenít there. In fact, they missed the last train to the internet cafť for the day.
This was where they left us last week. So get the answers, right? Please? Nope. We have to tune in next week. Can Lori and Bolo catch up? Is Jonathan still a jerk to Victoria? And how are Rebecca and Adam handling each other? And why is Freddy having a freak-out tantrum? I guess weíll have the answers next week (hopefully).