• Eleven teams start the race from Chicago, Illinois. • The teams travel to Iceland and perform various tasks, each with its own pros and cons. • Lori and Bolo are rednecks. • Adam and Rebecca put gasoline in their diesel car. • Avi and Joe are eliminated.
Phil begins the episode by welcoming us to Iceland, the land of fire and ice. Icefireland is also home to beautiful hot springs, waterfalls, diesel fuel, and now two New York Jews. This was the first pit stop in a race around the world. Will Jonathan and Victoria's constant bickering slow them down? And can Hera sedate Gus, and drag him across the finish line to victory?
Hayden and Aaron, who finished the last leg at 4:57 PM, leaves first at 4:57 AM. They need to drive to the airport. Their next destination is Oslo, Norway, the land of ice and ice.
As Hayden and Aaron head toward the airport, they immediately begin fighting. In a confessional, Aaron tells us that their team works well together, but Hayden can be terribly bossy. And he's OK with that. He doesn't have to listen to her. Just call 'em Haydn and Beethoven. One won't shut up, and the other can't hear a thing.
Kris/Jon, Lena/Kristy, and Freddy/Baby leave next. Jon tells us that their biggest strength is the fact that they don't fight with each other. Well, c'mon, they're long-distance daters. The sexual tension between these two could put out any fire. Or start a fire. I'm not too sure. Speaking of sexual tension, Freddy is ready to go, baby. To the airport.
Jonathan/Victoria, Lori/Bolo, and Adam/Rebecca are next to depart. Jonathan enjoys a quick kiss from Victoria, rips open the envelope, and begins barking out orders. Adam and Rebecca fight too. Rebecca has the nerve to disagree with Adam. SHOCKING!
Suddenly, the spirits of Jonathan and Jon possesses Adam...
Jonathan: "Yell at her, Adam. She's trying to voice her silly beliefs. Crush them." Adam: "Yes, master." Jon: "Agree with everything she says. Then you will have a truly enjoyable pit stop." Adam: "Yes, master." Jonathan: "The Force is strong in this one."
...So Adam passive-aggressively explains that he's trying to concentrate. That's a good compromise. He can ridicule her *and* deny everything later. Good plan.
Meredith/Maria, Don/MaryJean, and Gus/Hera leave last. Mary Jean, reading a page out of the Book of Jon, reveals that she's in control of her team. Don must have had a truly enjoyable pit stop too, huh?
...Ew. That's just gross. Let's move on.
Anyway, all the teams easily arrive at the airport. To Lena and Kristy's dismay, there are enough tickets on the Norway flights for all the teams. You fools. Don't expect to have any sort of lead in this race. Bunching is your friend. Bunching keeps teams like Colin/Christie from winning the race. Bunching is good for ratings.
All the teams pile onto the same flight to Oslo. The kissing begins. What is this, the Mile High Club? Get a room, kids. You too, Don. *blech*
After Smoochfest the teams now need to find their marked cars and drive to a giant Olympic Ski Jump. Johnathan and Victoria are having trouble finding the car. Lena and Kristy enlist a young, horny Norwegian guy to be their guide. Meredith and Maria are having trouble with their car. Maria can't drive a stick shift.
Maria's To-Do List Before The Race
1. Make to-do list (done) 2. Work on Queens Accent. (done) 3. Pack really cute clothing. (well, she tried) 4. Think of a good #4 thing to do. 5. Learn to drive a stick.
Maria quickly stalls the car. Meredith sits back, absolved of all the blame. After trying every possible gear, the car finally gets going. But it doesn't matter; everyone's getting lost. Jonathan has begun flapping his piehole again. He says Victoria panics too much. You're right, Jonathan. She's lost and trapped with a madman. Stop panicking, Victoria, and club him already.
Meredith and Maria are stalling again. Just thought you'd care.
Kris and Jon find the ski jump easily. Kris was a geography major, so she knows the entire layout of Norway already. But, who cares? It's time for a Roadblock! Let's get some Happy Fun Stats going. Lena and Kristy just arrived.
Episode 2 Roadblock
Teaser: Who's ready to perform an Olympic feat? Task: One racer in each team must climb up to the top of the ski jump. Then, he or she must ride a zip-line to the bottom. Big Twist: Each team member is only allowed to perform 6 Roadblocks throughout the entire race. This is called the Chip/Kim clause. Zip-Line Height: 1,000 feet Screaming: Optional Jonathan's Screaming: Excessive
This Roadblock looks pretty cool. No, amazing. Go with amazing. The teams really fly down the zip-line. After Jon and Lena finish the Roadblock, the team gets the next Route Marker. Teams now need to drive to Brandu and find a Viking Village (now with 50% less brutality!).
Meanwhile, Maria and Meredith are stalling again.
Lori/Bolo and Adam/Rebecca arrive at the Roadblock. Bolo handles the zip-line very well. Adam? Well, there's a few things wrong with Adam. This guy is totally freaking out. He's repeatedly screaming out "I love you, mama."
...That's not too bad, actually. Add a little Hellboy in there, and you're set.
After a little more screaming, Adam finally finishes the Roadblock. Later, Hera and Baby finish the Roadblock too.