[I'm starting out with a song parody and it's only because I can't get it out of my head, but it's only one verse, so bear with me.]
Jen C. (To the tune of "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work we go".)
Jen C., can't see, the possibility that you were wrong. Can't get along with small Stacy-e-e-e. Survey sez the men have won the task again. You'll make the perfect Stepford wife, Jen C., Taxi!
Jen C. granted interviews to several shows, during which it was further validated that the "C" stands for clueless. She was skewered by the women on The View, and then whined to them about being fired from her real estate job after the Thursday airing of The Apprentice 2.
Back at the suite, Stacy proclaims "The witch is dead!" I guess she saw Dorothy's house fall on Jen C. So instead of Jen C. being in real estate, real estate is on her and somewhere in New York the two women she insulted last week are giggling hysterically. Now who's flat? Oh, fat. Nevermind.
Raj doesn't make any points with the women when he asks "Which witch?" Hey, dude! You might be working alongside these babes eventually. Didn't you watch last season?
Pamela, surprised at the women grousing at each other over boardroom strategy says she is not rooting for the uteruses or the penises - maybe because she has both a uterus and a penis. She considers herself a competitor first, a woman second.
Rona calls the suite and tells the teams to meet Trump at UPS at 8 AM.
Chris is Mosiac's PM, chosen at random.
George is back after negotiating a pay raise from NBC. Yeah, I made that last part up, but if I had to be one of Donald's lackeys, I'd want a hefty pay raise. George and Carolyn are again Donald's eyes and ears. I wonder who will play the part of his hair. I wonder where his hair parts, for real. I wonder what shade of Nice N Easy haircolor he's using these days. These and other mysteries keep me watching this egotistical drivel.
Donald asks Pamela to return to Apex (was she ever really a member of that tribe?) to be PM, introducing the idea by saying that she is someone he has really developed a respect for. Believe that one?
So it's women vs men, the u's vs the p's - it's not going to be easy, but if you put the u and the p together with an s, it looks like another product placement for UPS. *cha-ching*
Donald: Retail has changed over the years. The biggest electronic retailer is QVC with over 4 billion dollars in sales a year. UPS delivers 54 million packages for them. This task is to go to the headquarters of QVC in Podunk, PA and sell a product. The highest gross sales wins. Raj is exempt this week if his team hits the boardroom.
Elizabeth is seen welcoming Pam first. The girls take the bus to QVC, while Pam starts her domination, saying she will be bossy and bitchy, and she asks them to listen to each other while they eat Lay's potato chips *cha-ching*, and ask for whiskey, but not any particular brand. How did NBC miss that product placement op?
Anyway, Pamela lets them know she doesn't care what has happened in the past. She knows she will have enough trouble trying to herd these cats to get the task done. Maria complains to the camera that she doesn't like being lectured to by someone her own age. Well, Maria, if you'd learn to use the kitty litter box, maybe there would be no need for someone to rub your nose in it.
Pam asks each person what they want to be in charge of and she will hold them accountable for it. Maria tells her that she is good a public speaking and sales. Pam tells the camera she is going to whip them into shape and she is not going to play Mr. Nice Guy. I guess she'd better keep that penis of hers well hidden.
PRICE IT RIGHT
We cut to Trump talking on his cell phone in his limo, making some kind of deal. He tells the camera the importance of setting the right price on a product. He completes his cell phone call by threatening Bill if he doesn't do a good job. Way to humiliate and keep that first Apprentice winner in line, DT.
The men on their bus are eating and talking about not wanting to lose because it will make it look like they lost because Pamela left their team.
The girls choose It Works, a household cleaning sponge, much like Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, which is a great product, if you have a lot of crayon on your walls. Pam makes the work assignments. Jen and Maria will be on camera, Sandy will do set design, Elizabeth and Ivana will write the script, and Stacy will be in charge of legal - every legal aspect will go through her.
Ivana complains to the camera that Pam has assigned tasks to everyone else, but not herself. Hey, Ivana, it's called delegating. Pam will have her hands full trying to manage you all.
Pamela discusses price setting with Stacy, but when Stacy sound wishy washy, Pam takes on the task herself.
The men's product is the DeLonghi Grill and Panini maker, which reminds me of the George Foreman grill. They say they know the importance of choosing the right product and setting the right price for it.
Kelly and Raj discuss the price, with Raj wanting it to be priced under $70, but Kelly sets the price at $71.25. Chris, as PM, goes with that price.