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The Next Joe Millionaire - Episode 2 Summary

'The Fairy Tale of Joe Millionaire - Chapter 2' By greeneyes
Original Airdate: October 27, 2003

As we open, this chapter, of the fairy tale that is Joe Millionaire, Paul, our favorite butler informs us that tonight is a big ball for the ladies in waiting to meet the Prince, aka David. But what the girls donít know is, that at the stroke of midnight, some of them will turn into pumpkins as soon as the ball is over.

Before the big event, Lady Lina, from Sweden, and some of the other girls are discussing their brief meeting with David. They said that he seemed shy and a little nervous. (How many times are we going to here him described this way during this episode? Not sure, but I guarantee, that if this was a drinking game, and you took a drink after every time the word shy was uttered, you would be drunk faster than you can say Texas.) Mister Paul overheard some of these comments, and reminded the girls not to underestimate a cowboy.

With two hours to go before the big event, the ladies in waiting are primping for their first meeting with the prince. The girls get to pick dresses, and have their hair and make-up professionally done (for some of them, I think they could have used a personality makeover at the same time, but, alas, that did not happen, sorry Prince.) Fox TV decides to prove that women all over the world are the same when it comes to competing for a man, and shows the evil step-sister side of some of the girls. We are treated to a montage of ladies telling some how great they look to their faces, and then in confessionals, saying how horrible the girl really looks. (Gotta love Olindaís comments about Anique wearing a ďpoison green dress with her nipples showing. Gee, do you think the Prince may like that dress? I think Anique just secured a place for the next round.) Just a reminder girls, the evil step-sisters trying to sabotage Cinderella didnít work, and it wonít work for you either.

Now for the women watching, we get to see the Prince getting ready for the ball. He wants to make a good first impression while trying to find his princess. (Have to say thank you to the producers for including plenty of clips of a shirtless Prince for us to enjoy. As CQvenus wrote in her summary last week, if he would just not talk, it would be even better. Canít agree more!) The Prince gets into his tuxedo coat and walks out of the door. But wait, something is missing Ö his bow tie. Now what kind of Prince/faux millionaire goes to a ball without a tie? Guess heís just being rebellious about his strict southern upbringing, and since he could wear spurs at the table, decides there is no reason for a tie with a tux.

Time for the Ball
He saw the ladies from a distance, but it was finally time to have formal introductions individually with each of them. (With the amount of times, that the Prince stuck his foot in his mouth during this episode, Iím starting a Cringe-o-meter for some of his comments to the girls. 1 is low, 10 is high.)

Lady Olinda, from Sweden: works in fashion. She was shaking quite a bit, and her lips were quivering as she met the Prince (must be some rare allergic due to the collagen injections in her lips. Iím not sure Iíve seen such big lips on anyone, except perhaps Julia Roberts.) The prince offered her some champagne, and before you can say yes, she was at the bar downing a glass.

Lady Linda, from the Czech Republic. Canít rip on her too much. She was really a pretty girl, and seemed to be very sweet. She told the Prince that she was a model. And he responds that he can definitely see that.
Cringe rating = 0

Next up is Lady Lina, from Sweden. The Prince asked if she had heard of Texas before. Her response, was ďTexas, yeah, sure, howdy.Ē (Lina, honey, there is more to Texas that old episodes of Dallas and old western movies, you may want to check that out sometime.) He said that he wasnít sure what to think of her, she seemed fun, but thought she was in it for the money. (NO! say it isnít so
Cringe rating for meeting with Lina = 8

Lady Alessia, from Italy. The prince canít understand a word she said to him. Thank goodness for subtitles, because I couldnít either. Apparently, she asked him something about the horse. Well, we know how much he likes the horse, so that was definitely a good question to start with on her part. However, I have to question her skill when it comes to numbers, according to Fox she is 26. Iím wondering what kind of calendar she uses to calculate her birthdays, because she looks more like 36.

Lady Karolina, from the Czech Republic. She is getting a masters degree, doesnít say in what though, since when does Masterís translate to a Mrs. Degree? (And I canít resist commenting on her dress, letís just say she was showing so much skin and cleavage, that JLo looked almost conservative in that blue/green dress from the Grammy Awards a few years ago.)

Lady Giada, from Italy (note: proper pronunciation is Gawda, close to gawdy, which describes that leopard print thing she was wearing.) She is from Italy, but just a hop and a skip away from where they are staying. (I swear the Prince said that, not me.)

Lady Jerusha, from Germany. He asked what city she was from. She politely replied, Berlin. He then responded that ďThatís the capital, right? Iím smarter than I thought I was.Ē (Well, I wonít go that far, Prince, you just need to stand there and look pretty, and you will be better off. And I just loved the look on Paulís face when he said that.)
Cringe rating = 10

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