So here I go, summarizing a 2 hour show. It isn't so easy, and makes my stomache queasy. Especially when NBC told us there would be 40 folks trying to make fun, but when I count them up, there are actually 41.
From 40 comedians (but really 41), 20 will be chosen to go to the Las Vegas finals, and 10 people will go on to live in the Hollywood house together.
Now they have put 40 (41, really) DAWs on a "party" bus. ANT describes the interior of the bus as looking like a drag queen blew up.
Ahhh, it is time for your LCS2.2 multiple choice question:
The name ANT is:
a. short for ANThony b. the name his nieces and nephews gave him. c. a well deserved nickname because he really really bugs people. d. just a smidge of all of the above. e. Initials for..oh, who cares? f. Not sure why it is in all caps, but NBC prints it that way in their summary.
Back on the Party Bus, Troy Glass is singing a song he made up, to the tune of "The Wheels of the Bus".
The DAWs on the Bus are keeping it real, keeping it real, keeping it real, The DAWs on the Bus are keeping it real, all through midtown.
Now I must hurry to get all of the 40 (41 to be correct) comic geniuses' sets in, although the program will only show about a minute of their 3 minute set. Word to NBC: If you stop repeating all of those sound bites before and after commercials, you could shave a good half hour off of this puppy. Maybe fit in some more of the jokes?
ANT can't stand the bullies, Todd Glass is just arrogant and Tammy Pescatelli is fighting off the boys with her schick stick.
The DAW funnabes have finally arrived, have settled into the Hudson Theatre, and are ready to do their 3 minute sets in front of the judges. Every time DH says someone is not funny, I remind him that we are only seeing about 1/3 of their act. He says, "Whatever." For you number geeks out there, I'll even supply you with the amount of time aired for each act, in parentheses.
So, we're off, but you probably already knew that, since we are watching this show instead of having a real life.
We are introduced to the judges, Ross Mack and Bob Read of Tonight Show fame, Colin Quinn, Kim Coles, and the Don, Rich Voss, who I think ought to change his name to Don Voss.
Here are the summaries of the sets, sometimes followed by Questions from the Judges (Q from J):
1. Alonzo Bodden(1:08) He got lost in the duvet cover department of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The salespeople convince him he needs a duvet cover to protect his comforter and a bed ruffle to protect what's under the bed.
Q from J: Colin asks Alonzo if he would use the BBB routine in front of a black audience. Alonzo comes back with "Everybody knows that black people don't use sheets."
2. Jessica Kirson (1:05) This comedian reminds me of the Steve Martin slogan "Comedy is not pretty". She looks like I do when I put a nylon stocking over my head. I used to scare the bejebus out of my little brother when I did that, so I made a quick call to his house to warn him not to watch.
Jessica comes out speaking in a helium induced voice. No, wait a minute, she is trying to be funny, with emphasis on the word trying. Then she makes the nylon stocking evil face and says she thinks she looks like a Thanksgiving Day balloon. She's on Atkins, so she ate a whole farm, sans the starchy stuff.
3. Pablo Francisco (1:06) He does an Aaron Neville impersonation, comparing Aaron's style to changing stations on the radio.
Q from J: Can't remember what they asked, and I'm too lazy to look at the tape again.
4. BUG ANT (1:00) Before the act, he talks to the camera about being devastated last year because he didn't make it into the house. He tried not to feel like a big loser by competing again this year. I don't want to be around if when he doesn't make it into the house.
Jay introduces ANT as the "Susan Lucci of Last Comic Standing". Somewhere, Susan Lucci is spinning in her designer heels.
ANT's act includes remarks about gay people claiming only good looking celebs are gay, not Danny DeVito, Al Roker, or Jay Mohr, for instance. His last punchline: "4 Queens always beat a straight." Um, not if they are 4 queens like you, ANT.