In the beginning, God created the TV universe, and it was good. God created all kinds of great TV stuff to fill the TV universe, and it was pretty good. He created TV shows and TV Networks and it was all good.
On the sixth day, God said, “Let there be Reality shows,” and it was exceedingly good.
God created two reality shows, one male and one female, and he said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the TV universe with Reality shows.”
God named the man Survivor, and the woman he named The Bachelorette. He told them, “Eat any fruit you want in the garden, but do not eat the apple, for then you will know evil.”
Now the Fox Network was the most slippery TV Network in the garden. Fox Network had eaten the apple and knew evil.
Fox Network approached The Bachelorette and said, “Eat the apple, for it will make you wise,” and so The Bachelorette ate the apple, and she gave it to her husband Survivor and he ate.
When God saw that Survivor and the Bachelorette had eaten the apple, he said, “What have you done? Now you know evil. Cursed be the ground because of you.”
And so Survivor and The Bachelorette went out from the presence of the Lord, since they knew evil.
Then Survivor got to know The Bachelorette and they brought forth children. They had many, many children. But Survivor and The Bachelorette knew evil, so their children were not always so good.
Now the Fox Network was still the most slippery network, and so it approached three of their children: Love Cruise, Paradise Hotel and Forever Eden.
Fox Network said, “I will make you wise.”
But Love Cruise, Paradise Hotel and Forever Eden did not become wise. Instead, they learned more of the ways of evil. They became the underachieving children in the family of Survivor and The Bachelorette.
“Why can’t you be like our other child, The Apprentice?” asked Survivor and The Bachelorette.
Love Cruise, Paradise Hotel and Forever Eden suffered from an identity crisis. They did not know if they were to be like their father Survivor or their mother The Bachelorette. The Bachelorette wanted them to help others to be fruitful and multiply, but Survivor wanted them to form a new society.
Survivor desperately pleaded with them to let contestants form alliances, vote out other contestants by secret ballot, and in general give the contestants control of the game. But Love Cruise, Paradise Hotel and Forever Eden wanted to control their contestants instead, so they came up with a different way to kick off contestants each week, so that everything was unpredictable. The contestants became confused and fearful. Then they abolished the secret ballot, forcing contestants to say who they had voted for, and the contestants became even more fearful.
The Bachelorette tried to help. She told them they should let their contestants be fruitful and multiply. But their contestants never had time to form relationships. They were always afraid of being voted out. And most of the time it was a member of the opposite sex who determined their demise. This caused mistrust. And couples had trouble forming, because new contestants would come along and break them up.
Soon it was a battle to the death between the old contestants and the new contestants on Paradise Hotel. Survivor scoffed at this. “All contestants should start at the same time,” he said.
Survivor and The Bachelorette were deeply sorrowed when two of their children, Love Cruise and Paradise Hotel, died an early death. Of their three problem children, only the youngest among them, Forever Eden, was still alive.
But they were still proud of their son, The Apprentice.
This is just one chapter in the saga of Forever Eden, their youngest child. Turn in your scriptures now to Forever Eden, Chapter 4, verse 22.