The Mole 2 - Episode 8 Summary

'Holy Shneikes, Meadow Muffin!' By Kokoro

Greased up Heather.

Greased up Heather.

Greased up Heather.

Oh and Eyebrows, who incidentally was one of the few remaining Molerons who didn’t put me to sleep, was eliminated. Because the others didn’t like her. Someone please inform ABC that conflict equals ratings because I’m not sure they’re getting the concept of reality television just yet.

Thus begins another episode of The Mole! Please try to contain your enthusiasm.

Did you see the clips at the beginning of the episode where everyone pretty much said that everyone else was the mole, while managing to throw in the weekly “I miss my family, and I hate it here, and I hate lying, and I hate this game, and we’re running out of rice!” ?

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Yes?

Did you ask the weekly question of “What the fvck are you doing in this game?” ?

Yes?

Okay good because I’m not saying a word about those confessionals in this summary.

Day 25 – Somewhere on the Earth planet

Game 8.1 - The Blind and the Beautiful

In the first challenge of this episode we find out that our contestants will have a chance to spend time with their loved ones – but only if another player can correctly identify another’s loved one from their vantage point above a crowded plaza. So this should be pretty simple, right?

Our first contestant is Katie, who picks Ray Charles to be her ‘eyes’. Okay fine, she picked Heather but in a minute you’ll see there really isn’t too much of a difference.

Katie, who I have to point out, is no longer the favourite daughter after Tuesday’s episode, basically described her dad as a beached whale. I believe the term “pregnant” was thrown around here and there. So of course Heather’s choice is simple; she picks some old generic dark-skinned Italian man. Of course Katie is pissed at Heather and you can’t have a reality TV episode without a confrontation, right?

Well I think you need to be reminded that you’re watching ABC, who also bring us great shows such as....um....can anyone actually name a popular ABC show?

*chirp chirp*

Yeah, I thought so. Anyway, as it turns out, you can have a show without conflict (By some mystical coincidence, it’s actually called The Mole); so no such luck, kiddies.

Our next player on “Whatever You Do, Don’t Pick Heather” is Dorothy. Dorothy, of course, picks Heather. Let’s go to Dorothy for a description of her mom.

Dorothy: Well, she’s basically like me. Short, thin, big glasses, and extremely Asian; got that?

After Heather assures her that she’ll find her mother, she scans the plaza. It’s very obvious which one is Dorothy’s mother, right? She’s right in freaking front of you! Anyway, sure that there’s no way Heather screwed up this time, Dorothy goes down and waits for her mom to arrive. Suddenly this very, very large, very, very white woman saunters around the corner. I’m not exactly sure what Dorothy said next because there’s this very loud, constant beeping obscuring the audio. Your guess is as good as mine as to what that signifies.

The Hidden Clue

As Dorothy and Katie sit on the curb, we see intermixed footage of a dog throwing up. Now if you look carefully, the dog throws up exactly four chunks of something or other – there are four letters in B-I-L-L. Clever, no? Also, the dog is one of the major symbols in Chinese astrology, meaning, obviously – duh – that whomever is born in a dog year is soooo not the mole. Or maybe they are. I’ll leave that to you.

Continuing with the game, we find out that Al’s wife and kids couldn’t make it. I’ll let Bribs explain why:

Bribs: I don’t have the heart to bring this up with the group, but you know when you buy the frame and for some odd reason whomever makes them thinks it’s great to sell you pictures of ~other~ people’s memories? See where I’m going?

Bribs gets to see his mama. Yawn.

Bribs, who’s now playing ‘the eyes’ doesn’t pick Al’s sister anyway so too bad for him. And may I say: Sister? Try Al in a wig. I mean, have you ever seen them in the same room?

Darwin gets to see his wife. Yawn.

Next up we have Bribs looking for Heather’s boyfriend. If you look carefully at the lower left corner of the lower courtyard, you’ll see Katie and Dorothy flashing Heather some kind of indiscernible hand signals. Weird.

Here we can also see Heather’s guy making out with Kathryn from The Mole’s first season for a split second (have the pause button ready). What, you thought Bribs was joking? He manages to pick the right guy, however, much to the disadvantage of anyone watching and anyone who will ever watch this show. You’ll find out why in a moment.

After this, we get to meet Bill’s brother, who, as it turns out, is almost as charismatic and interesting as Bill himself. Somebody shoot me.

Oh and just in case anybody actually cares, they won $20,000 in this game.

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