Randal and Rebecca teamed up against Alla and Felisha in a contest to promote another worthless Microsoft rip-off of a smaller company’s innovative idea. Alla and Felisha were both trying to be lead dog for their pathetic effort while R&R worked smoothly to wow the automatons that were acting as Microsoft reps.
When The Donald brought Alla and Felisha into the Board Room, R&R started placing bets on who would be fired. Felisha broke down in the Board Room after Alla gave her a noogie. Trump told Alla to stop being so mean. Then he said to Felisha that she’s a beautiful woman and that he’d like to make her his (where are we at now, his fourth? fifth?) wife. But she’s not strong enough to make it in New York.
When Alla started to get up, he yanked her down by her chain - a practical technique for getting any bitch to sit - and proceeded to tell her that she’s too tough for New York. She would be better suited in Tel Aviv, but Trump doesn’t have anything going on there because he has no desire to invest in the Jewish community. So, Trump fires them both. For those who haven’t been paying attention, that leaves Randal and Rebecca as the final two candidates for The Apprentice.
This recrap goes directly into the new stuff for this episode. Trump goes up to the apartment to tell R&R that he just blew his wad on the two blondes in the Board Room and he has nothing left for them. They are pleased and relieved.
Then DT informs them that they are the two final candidates out of a million applicants. As a reward, they are going to have dinner with Caroline and someone named George. There’s no info on why Bill won’t be attending the dinner. Trump recommends that they talk to Caroline and George to find out how to get into Trump’s pants…er…head. How to get into Trump’s head. Everyone knows how to get into Trump’s pants - a cheap bottle of wine and a promise to refrain from giggling when he gets nekkid. DT leaves and Rebecca gives Randal a sly look before they congratulate each other.
We come back from commercials to see Randal and Rebecca sit down for dinner with Caroline and some old guy who looks familiar. We are treated to a long look at the old man - George - while he stuffs his face with something that could have been pulled out of a crack in the sidewalk.
Randal is very happy that they have a chance to talk with Trump’s puppets and he asks what they can do. George lets them know that R&R will have to pick their team members for the final task. Those of you who stuck around from last season may remember that the final two candidates last time had their team members thrust upon them. This season, the candidates actually get to pick their team members. Just for the hell of it, it would have been nice if one of them had picked Markus. He was insightful and witty. But no, Markus was not one of those picked.
Randal opens the bidding with Josh, James and Mark. No they were not three of Jesus’ disciples, they were early-round losers in this contest. Rebecca sees his Josh and James and raises him a Chris. They trade off people like they were baseball cards. CLOSED CAPTIONING ALERT: At one point, Rebecca is talking about Chris, and the quote in closed captioning says, “I think that Chris was porn to both of us….” Check it out for yourself if you’re an unbeliever. Certainly, Trump didn’t know that there were subliminal messages about porn on his show. *wink**wink*
Rebecca takes Chris on a coin toss and keeps James. Her third selection is…Toral! Yay, we get to hear that self-aggrandizing bag of crap for one more episode! Randal ends up with Josh, Mark and Marshawn. When Caroline and George say “okay, those are your employees”, Rebecca looks as though she is going to throw up.
The next morning, Rebecca takes the call to meet Trump “downstairs” at 8:30. Randal says that he is ready to treat Rebecca like a competitor instead of a lover little sister. Rebecca says that she may be young but she has experience. The mind wonders what kind of experience she has….
In the Board Room, Trump asks how they feel. Randal talks about the death of his grandmother (which happened somewhere around the second episode). Rebecca talks about her broken ankle, toe, foot, whatever (which happened somewhere around episode three). Lots of drama this season. We won’t even talk about the fiasco when Trump tried to part his hair on the right.
Then DT gets down to assigning final tasks. Rebecca gets the Yahoo! All-star comedy benefit. The host? Joe Piscopo. Now, right there you know that Rebecca is in a serious hole. At his peak, Piscopo was a second-rate comedian. And that was 20 years ago. When you factor in the competing egos of any other comedians who only work when they get ahead of each other, then she has a real problem to work with. On top of that, the benefit is for a pediatric AIDS foundation. Just how the hell are you supposed to wrap a comedy jam around AIDS awareness? Well, that’s what Rebecca has to do.
Randal, on the other hand, gets a softball assignment. No, literally, a charity softball event hosted by Outback restaurants and benefiting autistic children. Now that sounds like a pretty easy assignment. Once again, Trump shows some favoritism for the male candidate.