We are almost to the finish line, only two episodes left. After seeing Dr. Jeff leave the ranch last week, there are only four losers left: Matt, Seth, Suzy, and Andrea. Which loser will leave the ranch for good? What will he/she look like now? Who is destined for the final three? And will I finally be able to incorporate a joke about ranch dressing into my summary? I’ve long thought there was one out there somewhere. Read on to find out!
As is customary, the loser whose stay was extended, which is Andrea again, gives us the delusional speech about deserving to be in the final three even though she’s only there because she’s absolutely no threat to the others. Bob comes in to give them some diet tips. Apparently, all your breakfast problems, indeed your entire weight control strategy can be molded around Quaker Weight Control oatmeal. What brand you ask? Quaker! That’s Q-U-A-K-E-R, Quaker. Depending on your Google skills, you can probably order some online right now!!!
The men reminisce about their time at the ranch and the progress they’ve made in terms of fitness. They are so much more physically active and capable. They can run, and they feel healthy. A flashback showing the old Seth as he appeared when they arrived several months ago proves to be hardly even recognizable.
Bob talks with Andrea and Suzy about their first workout, which consisted of walking to the front gate and back. On day one, they could barely walk there and had to stop six times along the way. Today, they can run there and power walk back. Suzy looks SO pretty today, and she’s gotten rid of her trademark cat eye glasses to display her beautiful eyes. I don’t think she’ll having any problem finding quality guys to date when she gets back home.
Jillian tells us Matt’s been struggling with the monotony of the workouts. She arranges for his old wrestling coach to come visit and also brings in one of his former wrestling buddies to spar with. This seems to really lift Matt’s sprits and should be just what he needs to motivate him until the end. Seeing his old coach makes Matt feel whole again, and he calls it the best thing that’s happened to him here at the ranch. Not that it matters, but the coach has the highest pitched voice I have ever heard from a man in my life. He makes Suzy’s squeaky voice sound like Kathleen Turner!
Each player stands by a safe. Is this going to be one of those Wile E. Coyote challenges? No, it’s the feel what you’ve lost challenge. All the weight they’ve lost is going back on. They open their safes to find they are filled with bags of quarters. The bags are equal in weight to what they’ve lost. Win the challenge, keep the quarters. It’s that simple. They must strap on backpacks filled with their quarters and climb up a 60 feet ladder. The first to reach the top wins. Caroline thinks they’ll be shocked by how hard it is.
Matt is flying up the ladder - he’s way ahead. It looks like he’s going to win, and he does. Wire to wire, it was never close. He carried the heaviest amount of weight and so a victory by him is worth the most; almost $2,000. All the contestants finish to show they can. But wait, what’s this? Caroline says he hasn’t won yet!
Here’s the catch. They will race to the top again, but this time they race without the quarters. The player who beats their first time by the biggest margin wins the money. This isn’t exactly fair to Matt, since the others quite likely slowed down once they thought the race was over.
My guess is Andrea will win. Matt once again reaches the top first, but he didn’t have much room for improvement. They finish in the same order as before, except that based on their improvementMatt is 4th, Seth is 3rd, Suzy is second, and Andrea wins. Exactly the opposite of their actual finish order. That was not a fair contest. Why didn’t they do a percentage improvement, like they do with weight loss? Here’s how things would have turned out using percentage of improvement:
• Matt - went from 42 secs to 19 secs. 55% improvement • Seth – went from 67 secs to 26 secs. 61% improvement • Suzy – went from 81 secs to 32 secs. 60% improvement • Andrea - -went from 92 secs to 39 secs. 58% improvement
Under that scenario, Seth would have been the winner with Suzy second. Either way, Matt got screwed since the others knew they weren’t in it to win it the first go-around. To his credit, he doesn’t complain.
The guys go for their last chance workouts with Jillian. She’s mostly just leaving them alone to devise their own workout so she can see how they perform without her direction, since it’s what they will have to face very shortly. Meanwhile, Bob helps the women go through the paces of their final workout. Andrea tells us she’s happy that she’s made it so far, but wants to go farther and win. Personally, I just want to see what Andrea would look like with real eyebrows instead of the ones she’s got Crayola-ed onto her forehead. Someone, please tell me why women think this is attractive?
Again, the two lowest losers will be up for elimination. Andrea is first to be weighed, followed by Seth, Suzy, then Matt. Here are their weight loss totals, with the percentage shown last: (current weight, current loss, total loss, current % loss)
These guys (and girls) still continue to amaze with their weight loss week after week. Andrea and Suzy are “below the yellow line”, so the guys will decide which of them must leave. I really hope they decide to keep Suzy. She’s not the weakest of the two, but if they can’t beat her, they don’t deserve the title of . Andrea tells us she deserves to be here. She says she wanted to show her kids you don’t give up. I’m okay with this, so far. She continues – “You strive for what you want and fight for it.” Okay, here’s where we have a problem. Andrea, they’re only keeping you because you DON’T work as hard as the others. You don’t want it as badly. If you did, you’d have the weight loss to show for it. You’ve been dead last at every weigh-in since going individual – and usually by a LOT! Shut up and admit you’re lucky they’ve spared you because you’re weak.
It’s the last official elimination ceremony, as the three remaining losers will come back for the final weigh-in three months from then. Matt votes first. He tells us he always decides to act based on who poses the bigger threat. But tonight, he decides he want to face a competitor who will push him, and so he votes to eliminate Andrea! Seth says he hates having to vote off a friend. He thinks final three is an honor and he must vote out Andrea – Suzy deserves it more. Well done guys! Beat Suzy and you deserve the money!
Wow! My two favorites (Seth and Suzy) have made it to the final three! The contestants have been at the ranch for three months, but will be going back home. After losing weight on their own for several months, they’ll be reunited for the final show and final weigh-in, which airs November 29. We get the tearful goodbyes to the trainers. Can you believe that Suzy is getting emotional? Bob tells her to forget about the game; just live the lifestyle they’ve crated.
Seth meets with Jillian. She shows him the cutout of himself at arrival. He can hardly believe it as he stands beside his former self. Apparently, in addition to losing almost 100 lbs, he’s also shrunk about 6 inches. Oh, wait, I guess the cutout is simply on top of a pedestal. Never mind! Anyway, Seth is proud of himself. There is a virtual love fest on camera between he and Jillian, and I almost expect some nudity. But, no; he has a family, after all and this is a family show. Maybe things will be different with Matt.
Matt can hardly look at himself. He says he feels bad for the guy he’s looking at. He declares the old Matt dead and thanks Jillian before walking away. He’s relatively tear-free, which is quite and accomplishment for the weepy Matt.
Highlights for the finale fill the final minutes of the show. For some reason, we get no update on Andrea. Maybe she’s back to being the size of a small sea mammal? Or maybe they want to save her for the next episode. I don’t know. You don’t know. There’s only one way to find out – tune in Tuesday, November 29th for the live finale. And read about it all afterwards, right here on Reality TV World!