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Survivor: The Amazon - Episode 2 Summary

'Idol Hands' By survivorscott

Welcome to the week two official summary. nuff chit chat lets get started.

Previously on Survivor Jeff divided the teams into Team Wonder women and Team Steve Trevors.Christy tells her team she is deaf. Men build their shelter, women complain about how hard it is, oh wait that is only Janey who complains. At the first Immunity challenge which is for the IMMUNITY IDOL. Joanna quickly re reads her contract and is ticked off to find she didn't read the part about idols. The men blow a twenty minute lead. We witness Rodger yelling "Hug The Log". We are then shown a little of Tribal council where Ryan who is apparently stoned, is voted out.

Then Zamfir plays his pan flute( he is looking rough since moving to the amazon) and we get the intro.

Commercial time. Looks like those wacky Sheens want to write a check. Haven't they learned anything from Yao Ming?

We are then treated to the women lying around and talking about how nice a shelter would be. Janet gives us this dandy of a quote "the shelter isn't sheltering" Shakespear could not have said it better himself. Joanna blames the idol( who I will now call Amos, because he reminds me of the old caucasion actors who did blackface) for not having a shelter. Heidi then bends over in a bikini top and pours water and says something but I am not sure what it was, because Heidi was in a bikini top bent over pouring water !
The women then complain about how no one wants to lead. Joanna blames Amos for her not being the leader.
We then see Deena holding a balloon. Whoever let them bring this luxury item should be shot. Who brings a non bio degradeable item into the most ecologicaly fragile area in the world?

The men on the other hand have it together. Built shelter, they know how to cook Maniac flower"It's filling and it tastes average" Lets go fishing.

All the men load up into the canoe and go fishing with their net. All though Rob says he has seen spider man at least a bazillion times, he is no good with a net. Daniel sits around.

Then ( in honor of Lisapooh) the rain rain rain came down down down. Apparently the rain only knows how to come down in one style in the amazon. In buckets.

After we see the women trying to build a shelter around their fire we get these inspirational words of wisdom from Shawna " We forgot we were in the Amazon" WHA? how do you forget you are in the Amazon? You forget your password, you forget your keys, you don't forget the place you are going to try and win a million dang dollars, GEEZ. Joanna blames Amos for making her forget she was in the Amazon.

Reward Challenge Time Jeff We are going to challenge how well you listen at this time Christy says "Huh what did he say?" we will also test how well you take direction at this time all the men say "Huh, what did he say?"

The challenge is two members of the team will be blindfolded while one person of the tribe yells at them to go pick up puzzle pieces in the jungle.

This reminds me of the number seven special at a Nevada Brothel. It was Called blind man in the bluff. But it was only one person blinfolded, and they are looking for some sort of jello pool.

And what are we playing for? Bait in a jar. It looks a lot like the left over raw fish from Marqesas, but hey just for giggles we will call it bait now.

The women get to set one person out. And in the easiest pick since a Rich Gannon interception in the Super Bowl. Christy sits out of the listening game

Joanna is the yeller, she blames the idol for, well just being an idol. Butch is the other yeller. Butch is really good at this game for one reason. He can't remember anyones name. The women get the job done by listening. Why did the men do so poorly? Because they are men and we don't take directions!

When it looks like the women will win another challenge, Christy does her, "were gonna eat tonight" dance. Elaine from Seinfeld sits there all proud of her star student.

We then see the men sitting around their Iron John campfire talking about how it sucks to lose to women. Daniel sits around.

The women then enjoy a feast of maggot filled Maniac, Jeanne trys to fish. She actually gets one hook and then goes all girlie and drops it and screams. She then tell us evervything is going to be okay, because she knows how to fish. Look Jeanne a Fish! EEEEEEEEEEK

We then here Roger and Alex debating over Homosexuality. Alex says he is staright and that Rodger is staright. Ummmm Didn't Rodger tell daniel and Ryan to Hug a Log last week?. Rob sees this and does his little evil scientest laugh and rubs his hand together. Daniel sits around, this time looking like a refugee from somewhere.

We then find out that when it's dark in the Amazon. You can't see anything.Someone call those Noble Prize people. I think we have the next physics award winners. Then we realize Jeff has powers over the contestants as deena says" Fire is Life" she is such a brown noser.

We then get rapid shots of Amos and lightning. it is like a siezure causing Japaneese cartoon. Joanna talks and talks and talks about how amos is bad. She claims he brought the rain into their camp. Ummm Joanna who brought the rain into the mens camp. I mean what are the odds it would rain in the Amazon RAINforrest? We then find out that Joanna whorships the god of silly names. I honestly beleive Joanna watched too many reruns of the Brady Bunch where Bobby finds that cursed idol, and beleives if she goes surfing, Amos will make her wipeout and almost hit a rock.

The next day Christy asks Jeanne what everyone talks about at night. she tells her about Joanna and Amos. Christy thinks this is stupid. Which leads us to:

you loved the SMACK in the OUTBACK
it's time for a rematch

Kimmi vs. Alicia II

Joanna then confronts Christy and starts talking like Johhny Cochran. It was hard to make out what she was saying. perhaps Amos made her speak in tounges. I do beleive at one time she did say that if it don't fit you must aquit. After it was over Christy says onr of my favorite Survivor lines ever, just second to Rudy's " UHH I don't Know", You would think if you were a vessel for Christ you would be nicer. Then Joanna says she didn't go over there to dog her out. ummmmmm joanna, then why did you go over there? Maybe Amos took over her body and made her do it.

The women are shown emptying their box. They use it cause they can't build a shelter and have to keep things dry. When they get to the bottom they find? A granola bar wrapper!!! jenna is the first to spot it. I belelive that she brought it in under the old "he who smelt it delt it" defense. The women then throw it into the fire. Once again we are introducing materials that are not good to the enviroment into the eco system. There is a mini whicth hunt in which Janet is labeled as the Kel of the Amazon.

We then see Andy I and Andy II, the tree mail guys. Named to go along with Amos. the tree mail reads: something something observant something something. Sorry I was thinking about Heidi bending over in a bikini top pouring water again.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGAt the challenge we see a poor Habitat for Humanity effort. The teams have two minutes to observe everything in the house and then be quized on it. They were then asked 10 questions like:
1.) what kind of joints were used in the coners?
2.) the pigs in the back can be Bar B Qued at what temperature
3.) Which kind of saw was used to cut the floor boards
4.) who on the girls tribe is Hottest
etc. etc. etc.

Men win and act like drunken guys at a frat party fighting over the next hit off the funnel.

Back at the womens camp. the ladies are sitting around while Christy tries to make a shelter. Oh good make the deaf girl work while y'all just relax. Christy asks for help and gets none. Perhaps becase the ladies were grossed out by the underarm hair. When the others finally get around to helping her, she changes her mind and wants to go fishing. WHY? Because she is a girl.

Janet then tells the girls it wasn't her who brought the granola bar in. Using the "you can't prove it, ha ha ha ha" defense.

We then get to tribal council. Jeff talks about how things are going and their lack of shelter. Joanna says they can't spend all day on shelter cause then they can't get water, and build a fire, then They are all going to die. She then throws one of the pigs from the Immunity Challenge onto the fire and says "All Hail Amos". Christy says she feels left out, because no one talks to her. Jenna sits there and says'That is so not true and stuff". Everyone starts to vote and it seems like everyone gets a vote.
Ryan (again)
Melissa Rivers
The Queen of England
Tootie from the Facts of Life
and Marilyn Monroe.

When all is said and done, Janet is on her way home.

Next Week: NAKED WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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