Cupid - Episode 7 Summary

'Snow White and the Seven (Media) Ho’s' By Schnookie Palookie

Gather around children, I’m going to tell you a little story. This story takes place in a faraway place called Reality TV Land, where the beautiful Snow White is hoping to find her Prince, with the help of her two harpy friends, Witch Laura and Witch Kim. The host of this land, Brian the Huntsman, (who happens to have the goofiest hair I’ve ever seen), introduces the group of Ho’s vying for Snow White’s hand in marriage (not to mention her million dollar dowry).

Here they are …..

Baby Dom (Dominic)
Happy (Evan)
Flashy (Joe)
Creepy (Robert)
Dopey (Renda)
Wacky (Ken)
Bashful (Hank)
Paul …. Woah! Stop the storytelling! There are 7 Ho’s in the story, not 8. Sorry Paul, you gotta go. Bye-Bye.

Music begins and the ho’s start singing …..

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Heigh ho, heigh ho,
We’re a bunch of media ho’s
We’ll tell our lies,
For the million prize,
Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho,

Heigh ho, heigh ho,
We love being on this show,
We’ll sing and dance,
And fake romance,
Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Now, on to the story ....

HOME OF THE HO’S
We finally get to see the bachelor pad where the Ho’s are living together, and it is infested with ants. It’s no wonder, because the place looked like a real mess. Better get Snow White in there quick to clean the place up. We discover that some of the Ho’s think Bashful might not be so bashful. Dopey calls him a “Jekyl and Hyde” and Baby Dom says that Bashful and Snow White shouldn’t be together. Huh? What are we not seeing?

THE SHAFT
As mentioned above, there can only be 7 Ho’s in this chapter of the story, so Paul got the shaft and had to leave. He was clearly stunned, as were Snow White and the two Witches. Now, I can understand Snow White being a bit surprised, but the two Witches? For the past weeks, they’ve continually knocked Paul down, saying he’s there only to promote his play and always saying that there is no connection between him and Snow White. Now, all of a sudden, they say there’s a connection? Huh? Personally, I found Paul boring so I’m not sad to see him gone.

THE DATES
This week, the Ho’s have to interact with four kids (ages 5 to 13) on their dates with Snow White.

DATE #1 – BABY DOM (Dominic)
Baby Dom had the kids lie down on sheets of paper and trace their bodies, which turned out to be tougher than he thought. Kids being kids, they soon got out of control. When Snow White showed up, they had her lie down so they could trace her body. Everyone, including the kids, thought Baby Dom would not make a good dad. Witch Laura said that the kids need someone they can look up to, not someone they can relate to. Witch Kim reminded Baby Dom that he himself said that he’s not ready to have kids. Baby Dom’s comment: “They’re not my kids”. Sorry Baby Dom … wrong answer. Despite all that, the audience still likes this guy. I think he’s cute but too young.
Final Verdict:

DATE #2 - HAPPY (Evan)
Happy teaches the kids karate (even though he doesn’t know karate). He does a decent job and wins them over by making it fun. Snow White showed up looking cute in her Ninja outfit, and was cheered by all when she punched apart a paper towel. Sly Happy tells the kids there’s a spider on the wall, and as they look away, he steals a kiss from Snow White. Witch Kim likes him more each time but tells him he’s faking everything he does (ice-skating and karate). Will the real Happy please stand up? Everyone was charmed by Happy and Snow White begged the voters of America to vote for Happy because he is one of her favorites. For some reason, I don’t like this guy. Maybe it’s because he looks too much like a surfer dude.
Final Verdict:

DATE #3: FLASHY (Joe)
Flashy has his kids pretend he and Snow White are their parents. He gave them all new names and handed out wads of cash. Snow White shows up, and they all play pretend family and enjoy themselves. Everyone seems charmed by Flashy, however, they all call him out for giving the kids the money. Witch Laura says that you should let the kids earn the money and Witch Kim tells him that he’s crossing the line from being generous to flashy/gaudy. Flashy says he was just having fun with the money thing. Snow White says they had fun together but that they’ll have to talk about the “money thing”. Personally, this guy does not charm me at all. On every date so far, there has been a money issue. This guy likes to have money and spend money. He wants the million dollars.
Final Verdict:

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