Welcome to the Fox network’s latest version of twisted reality; The Complex. It’s the show that asks the question Could Barney and Rose BE more annoying? <\chandler voice>.
We start out back at the complex after last week’s lumberyard ceremony that sent Brad and Lew packing. Steve and Nicole are savoring their victory with their bestest friends for life, Scotty and Sam. In what turns out to be a quite predictable foreshadowing moment, they toast each other’s honesty, integrity and their lifelong friendship. Of course, it hasn’t quite sunk in that they’re no longer teammates.
Downstairs, Dave and Ana vacate the Apartment From Hell, leaving Barney and Rose alone with their architectural creation. They are taking Brad and Lew’s place in Apartment 3, and are fairly gleeful to inherit the apartment that has added the most value 3 out of 4 times so far.
The next morning it’s revealed that their next task is the deck. Since Apartment 4, has an extra bedroom and a very small deck, Barney and Rose will be judged on both those spaces this week. All the teams must figure out how to allocate their remaining money, $38,000; which needs to cover the cost of their kitchen and second bathroom, as well as their deck area. Most of the couples decide the bulk of their remaining funds will go into the kitchen.
The four couples assemble for a resident’s meeting to discuss the design of their decks. Because the Complex is truly just one property, they must coordinate their designs so that the resulting outdoor living spaces work together aesthetically and are compatible. If they achieve this, the decks may be the only thing in the complex that works together and is compatible. Inexplicably, Sam has a problem right off the bat with Steve and Nicole’s idea of “floor covering” on their deck. I’m not sure why, but already the friendship is starting to sour. Dave and Ana make a ridiculous attempt to disguise their intentions by telling the teams they are planning an “outdoor cooking device”, and a “recreational device that contains bubbly water”. This coy word game angers the other residents. Sam says: “How stupid do they think we are?” Sam is forgetting that Dave and Ana have spent the last four weeks working with Barney and Rose, which has likely shaped how they perceive the intelligence of their Complex co-residents!
In the upper complex, Steve is working diligently on the deck of apartment 1. Scotty and Sam are curious what he’s doing up there and ask what’s going on. Steve, however, has adopted a commando approach to the game now. All bets are off, everyone else in the Complex is his enemy – even his wife, as we will see later. He asks Sam what’s in it for him if he tells her what he’s doing. “Where’s the tit for tat?” This reminds me that I always wanted my nickname to be Tat so I could go around saying “where’s the tit for Tat”! Fortunately, Sam does not use this opportunity to expose herself to Steve or the viewing audience.
Unfortunately, it’s at this point in the show where my wireless keyboard has strayed too far from it’s receiver. As a result, I’m left with the following notes, which I’ve leave you, the reader to interpret as you like:
Yyanddooccey eettddttrrkktchhaabb wwhhy aaeeiiittmmtheemthhyytoaaueere mcrreeeeesseelliicsstt tooddt ggg yo y sooecadtsodaayy? Beythnkg s ssdd,,cceetgttsaacc istt.. Teesaaeaaaoonggcrraazyittteecaattt,esssteeeotnntyy$8500.
Best I can tell, we’ve reached the part of the episode where Barney and Rose go cabinet shopping. The salesman helping them apparently is fresh off a stint as a used car salesman. He asks Rose “what would it take to get you take these babies home tonight?” and “what kind of monthly payment were you looking for?” Even Barney complains that the guy seems kinda shady. The salesman is calculating the price for Barney and Rose, indeed, we see him crunching numbers on his calculator. The display reads 18,500. He relays the total price to Rose: $24,500. Heh! She complains a little, but ultimately agrees. I hope he threw in the undercoating and extended warranty for that price.
We’ve reached the point in the show where the focus shifts quickly from couple to couple.
Scotty and Sam are at Sears looking at grill islands. They score a very nice corner unit and are told it’s the only one in stock. They believe that have scored a major coup!
Barney and Rose argue because they’ve committed most of their budget to the kitchen, and I think Rose may actually be going crazy. She’s given up the idea of winning this show and is focusing all her efforts on being the most annoying reality show contestant ever.
Dave and Ana are looking at spas . They are convinced a spa will make them the winners of the deck competition hands down.
Steve and Nicole are not getting along. He has adopted an all business attitude and she doesn’t like it. She wants him to be sensitive and lovey-dovey. Also, she looks really, really tired, and she’s cranky. They fight in the car on the way to Sears and soon he has her in tears. Worse still, neither is wearing a seat belt, which is illegal in California. Kids, don’t try this at home!
Scotty and Sam are getting ready to install their new straw tile floor. They think it will be a real WOW factor. It looks like something my mom would have done in 1972.
In apartment 3, Dave is attempting to build a classy plywood patio storage box. It will go well with his gray indoor/outdoor carpet. Nothing says Malibu like plywood and all-weather carpet. Somewhere, Brad and Lew are watching this episode and weeping with shame or laughing uncontrollably.