The Amazing Race 5 - Episode 7 Summary

'Only In Kenya!' By I_AM_HE

Previously on The Amazing Race, despite the first ever reality show twist that actually lived up to its billing, the penniless Bowling Moms survived, as Marshall and Lance ostened on account of their getting too fat to continue the race. Whoever had one week in last week’s unannounced ‘How long until the Dough Boys have to get one of those motorized shopping carts?’ pool wins a trip to Kenya, where you too can be kidnapped by Canadians! But more on that later. For now, six teams remain; who will be eliminated next?

Teams will depart from Luxor, the ancient Egyptian capital formerly known as Thebes. Christie and Coronary, the first to arrive at the pit stop on Crocodile Island at 5:33 pm, will depart at 5:33 am. Christie reads the route information and learns that they must fly to Nairobi, Kenya by way of Cairo, where they will sign up for a charter flight to a mystery destination (read: place so boring you might marshall and lance on us if we told you ahead of time). They have $75 for this leg of the race, and the anal Coronary counts to make sure CBS hasn’t stiffed them. Christie confesses that they’re trying not to get too over-confident, because you can come in first one leg and be eliminated the next (in your face, Alison!)

Chip and Kim depart at 6:01 am. Kim thinks they can win the race now, because they’re working together. Chip says it’ll take Brains, not Brawn. If that’s the case, no one might win.

Kami and Karli depart hot on their heels, at 6:03 am. One of them thinks that now that they’re in third, they can come in first; they just have to stay in control of what they’re doing. Ouch, they’re about to be 0 for 2.

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Brandon and Nicole depart at 6:10 am. Brandon says he puts his trust in the Lord, not necessarily assuming that it’s in His plan for them to win, but you never know. I don’t know about the Plan, but the nice shot of the sun rising over the Nile as they depart certainly seems to indicate it’s in the Editing. Nicole says she absolutely loved Egypt because the people were so friendly. As always, you’ll find the lowest prices on Foreshadowing in town here at Jerry Bruckheimer’s Storymart!

Charla and Mirna depart at 6:28 am, and Charla proves she can do everything a Big Person can do, besides reaching the top shelf and opening the damn envelope. Mirna finally rips it apart to get to the gooey info center. They confess that no one’s underestimating them any more; in fact, they might overestimate them because they’re so scary. I know Kim’s got that fear of Oompa Loompas, but I don’t think that’s what they were hoping for. Mirna whines at Charla to run faster.

Linda and Karen are the final team to depart, at 6:33 am. Linda says she has to cheer Karen up because she forgot her Zoloft, and they suck so bad. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

Charla and Mirna bribe their cabbie with $1 to use his cell phone to make reservations on Egyptian Air. Their request to use his credit card for another dollar is not shown. They are dismayed to find the first flight leaves at 7:00 am, just 20 minutes away.

The first three teams have arrived and gotten tickets, and Brandon and Nicole get there just before 7:00, but the flight is delayed. Colin’s head explodes as Mirna and Schmirna waddle into the airport and also get tickets. Linda and Karen are also able to arrive before takeoff thanks to the palms CBS greased at Luxor Airport. Charla actually complains that “everything in this country is always delayed,” such as her appreciation that she won’t have to wait three hours for the next flight.

Phil explains that the teams are on their way to Cairo, Egypt, where they must take a taxi to the NEW (just so no one’s confused this time) International Airport and find the best flight to Nairobi. Gratuitous shots of the pyramids and the Sphinx are thrown in so CBS can get every last penny out of them. Charla the Supergenius informs her partner that she thinks they have to go outside to get a taxi. In all fairness though, Mirna might well have waited around for hours at the ticket counter for her cab without this vital piece of information.

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