Tracey: She tells us she now knows Mark is a chicken, I mean mole.
Mark: He tells us he's a chicken, I mean mole. Jeeze, why did I do that again!
Dennis: He says something of another about Corbin I think. BTW, did anyone see him playing basketball in the ABA? He sabotaged the whole game. He didn't even score a point. Oh wait, never mind, that's just his lack of ability. Move along now, let's not waste our time with Dennis...
Keshia: She says she is glad she didn't take Corbin's advice. Yes, smart Keshia, if you follow Corbin's advice you might end up on Celebrity Mole. Oh wait, Never mind. Hey, it could be worse, think, "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here". A matter of fact, Keshia would fit in perfectly with that crowd. It's poll time. Who here knew Tyson and who here knew Keshia...my point exactly. Ok, I know surely I've lost half of you now...
Britney Spears Reveals All
Ok, now that I have your attention back, let's move on with the summary.
Angie: Ummm, yeah...
And that's it for the painful merciful opening confessionals this week, unfortunately.
The episode begins and the players have a grand total of $16,000 in the pot, which means it's time for a Joke Aimed at George Bush and ABC.
Joke Aimed at George Bush and ABC- George Bush: "Come on guys, I'm giving Cheney's buddies at Haliburton more than $16,000. Don't ya know, if y'all don't start to earn some more monies ABC is gonna have to throw free money at your faces to boost the pots. And then they're going to call it a scandal. A scandal they'll call it."
And just as soon as the speech of the decade is heard, you guessed it, the highest money game in the century is proposed.
The game is called "Clucks for Bucks". And if I'm interpreting this right, if I give a cluck, then I receive a buck? I wonder if a Howard Dean Scream counts as a cluck.
*Waiting, waiting, waiting* Jeeze ABC is cheap. I humiliate myself in front of all these molerons at this wonderful site and I don't even get a reward for it. Well that'll be the last time I watch ABC...
Speaking of ABC, how about that new show "Line of Fire"? Its got Stephen Baldwin and Corbin Bernsen as leading actors. Now come on, you can't get much better than that. Well, the actors are at least close replicas I promise!
But you heard me right, "Clucks for Bucks" is the name of the game. The players have to divide into three teams of two. Take a guess at what they manage to do. That's right, the little dyslexic celebs have managed to create two teams of three. They're cheaters you know, bad ones at that, trying to cheat themselves out of a round! They'd try to get by with anything, if it wasn't for ABC stopping them, which brings us to a joke aimed at George Bush and ABC.
Joke Aimed at George Bush and ABC- George Bush: "Ya know, I think I've a gained control of those democrats. I got the black mail of the centurima. All I gots to do is reject that Medicare Bill of Rights and I get free money from those Lobbayests. Yep, as easy as pie. Just like ABC, rejecting those molerons. I'll show play by the rules."
Back to the game...
The teams are Keshia and Dennis, Angie and Stephen, and Tracey and Mark.
There are 24 chickens and 48 sombreros. The sombreros have numbers inside them, which relate to numbers on the chickens. The teams have to find numbers in the sombreros, then find those same chickens, and then put them in a small pen. They win $2000 for each chicken, and $5000 in some cases on specially marked packages of Kelloggs Frosted Flakes, or more commonly known as Super Chickens. The teams each have five minutes.
Keshia and Dennis go first. Blah, blah, blah...They win an enormous $17,000 for the pot. Oh whatever will they do now. They've broken ABC's bank.
The next couple, Angie and Stephen, strike it rich. No, not the one in Alaska, I'm talking about the Yucaton chicken rush. They earned $31,000 to the pot. Blah, Blah, Blah.
Finally, the disasters, Tracey and Mark, take their turn. It's all about sabotage, or maybe stupidity in this team. They manage to add $9,000 to the pot, which I'm sure everyone here cares about so much. It's the exact reason why I've decided to now install the Stat Keeper into this episode's summary...
Game 1: $57,000
But wait, there's more. Keshia is given the opportunity for an additional $10,000 if she catches a rooster. Come on ABC, anyone who is anyone knows that catching a rooster is the most impossible task in the world. Only experts would dare... Oh wait, Keshia does it! $10,000 is added to the pot, Oh My!
Which means it's time for, you guessed it, the Stat Keeper.