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The Apprentice 1 - Episode 2 Summary

'Swingers and Sleepers' By Bebo
Original Airdate: January 15, 2004

Push-up bra? Check.
Low-cut blouse? Check.
Mini, mini skirt? Check.
Stilettos? Check.

OK, now that I’m in the official Trump-approved wardrobe, on with the summary.

Suite Sensation

The guys are giving the low-down on how things went in the boardroom while hoping that Troy and David are the two who will return to the suite. Sorry boys, that’s your first disappointment this episode. Kristi said this is when the reality hit home that one by one folks would be eliminated. Aw gee, up until then, she thought that she was on The Surreal Life 3, except that this version didn’t contain celebrities. Oh wait, that means it would be just like the first two.

The women then decide to pick a project manager for their next task. As Ereka’s talking, Omarosa interrupts to suggest that they pick a name at random to be fair. Ereka suggest they have nominations. She nominates Amy, and others quickly agree. Amy says she’ll do it, as long as Ereka and Omarosa behave. Don’t hold your breath, Amy.

Omarosa complains that the other women just want to shut her down. Hmm, I didn’t know that “shut her down” meant “keep discussion going after someone makes a bad suggestion”. I guess she was expecting them all to kiss her feet and say, “Of course, Omarosa, we’ll do whatever you say. What would we do without you?” She should have gotten a clue when her “Donald’s Darlings” corporation name idea got nuked in the first episode, but she’s obviously not on the clue train yet. I’d ask what color the sky is on her planet, but as we’ll learn later in this episode, that’s not a good direction to go with her.

Since it’s been at least 2.3 minutes since Trump has been seen or mentioned, we now see His Own Favorite Megalomaniac order someone to call the suite and tell them to meet a Deutsch Advertising in an hour. When one of the guys answers the phone, he’s told (surprise!) that they’re to meet at Deutsch Advertising in an hour.

The teams get ready to head out. The guys decided to wait and pick their project manager after they knew more about the task (point for them). Jason says that he should be the project manager, since he used to work at an ad agency, and they all agree.

Ummm, when a guy that young says he used to work at an ad agency, you can draw from the following conclusions:
- He didn’t like it, so he left.
- He wasn’t good at it, so he left…and he may not have been the one who made the decision to leave.
- The Jasonator…makin’ copies…

None of these bode well for leading his team. Gimme back that point I awarded earlier.

Welcome to Deutsch-land

The wanna-bes and the viewers are given a tour of the agency by advertising DAW Donnie Deutsch. We’re hit over the head with images of the different business climate. Ooo, Donnie wears a plain grey T-shirt to work! Ooo, there goes a guy on the scooter! Aren’t we avant garde?

Trump gets tired of sharing the limelight with this DAW and explains the task – an ad campaign for corporate jets. (Oooo…) The winning team will fly on a corporate jet to Boston for dinner, while the losers head to the boardroom. Donnie the DAW grabs the spotlight back as he explains they will have full access as they design, at minimum, a 30-second TV spot and a print ad. Donnie spews out sound bites like “This is about big ideas…Don’t be afraid to do it fresh, out of the box. Don’t just do ‘this is what an ad is’. The greatest advertising does it differently. He then advises them to “swing for the fences” and that “failure is not an option”.

Wow, Donnie DAW knows his clichés. Let’s speculate on which ones got edited so that the episode would only last an hour. Hmmm…
- Win one for the Gipper.
- Reach for the stars.
- Dare to dream.
- Carpe diem.

You get the idea.

After the commercials, we find a strange break in the, ahem, action. It’s time for Uncle Donald’s Teaching Time. Today’s lesson? “Don’t negotiate with underlings.” As Uncle Donald sits in his tacky palace, he lectures the camera to deal with the boss whenever possible.

Hmmm…swing for the fences. Deal with the boss. Foreshadowing, anyone?

Taking Off and Flying Blind

At Protégé, Amy’s first suggestion was to contact the client, and she made an appointment with the CEO and the Senior VP of Marketing for Marquis Jet Card. Omarosa tries to angle her way into the meeting. When Amy chooses Ereka instead, Omarosa starts bashing Amy’s decision-making skills. Surprise. The rest of the team heads to the airport to shoot while Amy and Ereka head to the meeting.

Cut to Versacorp, where Jason announces he’ll be the floater between the two groups. He designates Bick and Bill as the creative team, advising them to “come in the middle” between their corporate and young-and-sleek ideas. Oh good, Jason lasted long enough at the ad agency to learn some clichés. Troy suggests meeting with the client, and Kwame agrees, with Jason and Nick dissenting. Finally, Jason declares the meeting “a waste of time”. Troy wonders how they’re going to meet the client’s needs if they don’t know what those needs are. Jason sends Nick, Bowie, Bill, and Kwame out to the shoot, while he stays at “home base” with Troy and Sammy. OK, Jason lasted long enough at the ad agency to learn baseball references too. But I don’t think I want to know what he plans to do at home base.

It’s time to check the Foreshadowing Scorecard:

#1. Uncle Donald says meet with the boss. Who wanted to meet with the boss?
a) Protégé – Amy called for a meeting right away.
b) Versacorp – Jason decided that meeting with the boss was “a waste of time”.

Show of hands…anyone have a guess which team will win? How about a guess who’s going to hear those two little words? I thought so.

Meanwhile, Amy and Ereka are scrambling to find the office. Glad you brought a local with you, Amy. The client told them to “wow us” and that nothing was off-limits. This information is carefully relayed to Tammy at the airport. Tammy then explains her concept for the print ads – a phallic symbol. Sex sells, The Sequel.

Speaking of sequels, Omarosa didn’t like the idea. Surprise. If it’s not her idea, she doesn’t like it. She thinks it’s a disgusting approach to a “quality, luxury service”. This from the woman who thought “Donald’s Darlings” was a fitting name for their corporation. Ever the shrinking violet, she confronts Tammy and tells her they need to be serious and not insulting to the client. Tammy says they can be serious and funky.

Versacorp has a van headed for the airport too. Bill asks for the Cliff Notes version of the message from home base, but as we all quickly learned with Sam, he doesn’t know how to give a short answer. Instead, he treats Bill to a fight he’s having with Jason. Bill comments, “You ask Sam what time it is, he tells you how to build a clock.” Bill is too smart for this silly show.

As the teams finish their ads, we get an impression of their campaigns. The men love their ideas and guarantee victory. Their message is that the corporate jets are safe and convenient, and they deliver the message in a tactful, classy way. Yawn. Omarosa thinks Tammy’s “testicle ad” compromises their ability to win, but Amy thinks it’s sexy.

Let’s revisit the Foreshadowing Scorecard:

#2. Donnie DAW said, “Don’t just do ‘this is what an ad is’. The greatest advertising does it differently.”
a) Versacorp – Sends a message of safe and convenient.
b) Protégé – Combines shock and sexuality.

Show of hands…anyone still undecided on which team is in trouble?

It’s crunch time, and the guys are hard at work on editing the TV spot. Well, some of the team members are, anyway. Sam, Jason’s problem child, curls up on the floor and falls asleep. Jason said he would have fired him on principle.

Back to the Foreshadowing Scorecard:

#3. Producer Mark Burnett is infamous for editing misdirection to try and build suspense.
a) Versacorp – The men consistently declared their confidence in the approach and guaranteed victory. Jason said he’d fire Sam for falling asleep on the job.
b) Protégé – Not everyone on the team is confident about winning, since they’re risking offending the client.

They are hitting us over the head with this editing, aren’t they?

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