The Bachelor 4 - Episode 4 Summary

'Television's Great Marine Disasters' By dajaki

Previously on The Bachelor: Twenty-five women from across America came to California to audition for the role of first mate to Captain Bob. A freak storm washed ten weeping women overboard on the first night, followed shortly thereafter by the drowning deaths of five more. The remaining ten women then voted for whom they believed to be the most and least seaworthy of Captain Bob, with Meredith winning an interminably long date that was only made longer by the fact that her grandmother had just kicked the bucket. Kelly Jo, Misty and Mary dressed in jammies and sang sea chanteys in a farcical group date. Captain Bob swabbed everyone’s decks.

Captain Bob dates Castaway LeeAnn

Bob’s first date of the episode is with LeeAnn. He rides to the Bachelorette house in a gorgeous vintage limo and ponders the significance of the shipmates voting LeeAnn least compatible. Bob’s voice-over says that he wants to make sure LeeAnn is who he thinks she is, and that the ladies voting her least compatible makes him think that there is something he doesn’t know. Well, what do you know? I didn’t realize that there was anything that could make Bob think.

First Mate’s Compatibility Quiz Question 1: When Captain Bob shows up for a date wearing a white shirt and a silvery white tie, you should tell him he looks like -
A. your knight in shining armor.
B. the captain of your heart.
C. one sexy seaman.
D. a big round life raft.

ADVERTISEMENT

As Bob ponders his date on the long drive to the Bachelorette house, LeeAnn gets ready for the big evening. Karin helps LeeAnn remove large flotation devices from her hair while LeeAnn gloats over the backfired plan of her competitors. A few people get in a bit of a tizzy over the fact that LeeAnn only has one hour to ready herself and they try to incite the masses to help her. Those with sense remind the do-gooders that LeeAnn is a brat who not only doesn’t deserve help, but would most likely shun it were it offered.

Suddenly, the rapid report of gunfire echoes through the house. No, wait, that’s only Bob knocking on the door. The boy has a heavy hand. LeeAnn comes down to greet her beau and snootily reminds the other girls not to wait up for her. Okay, for those of you who watched this episode, raise your hand if you exclaimed, “It took her an hour to do that!” After all the time spent with enormous curlers in her hair and all the teasing and blow-drying and help from Karin, LeeAnn clips her brunette locks back in a barrette. Her normal style. I just laughed my rear end off over that. The girl must have a lot of bad hair days.

Bob and LeeAnn are whisked away to Long Beach, the home of the Queen Mary. Bob is looking forward to a romantic evening on the water, even though the Queen Mary is in dry dock and won’t be sailing anywhere with only one of her three engines remaining and that one is just for show. All the twinkling lights in the background, which by day are industrial yards, add to the romance. LeeAnn, feeling like Cinderella without the humility, tells Bob that she is shocked that she was voted least compatible. It’s at this point that the producers give us a brief montage of those who voted against her.
Kelly Jo: For least compatible, I vote for LeeAnn.
Meredith: LeeAnn
Misty: LeeAnn is least compatible.
Mary: I’m voting for LeeAnn
Antoinette: (a weepy sigh during which she holds up her LeeAnn card)
I could just watch that Antoinette clip all night. It’s really funny.

Page Index: 1 2 3 4 5

Continue Reading >>>