Survivor: Pearl Islands - Episode 3 Summary

'Is There Any Cheese To Go With That Whine?' By janisella

Previously on Survivor:
• The Dreck tribe improved their challenge record to 3-0.
Boston Osten became obsessed with catching pneumonia and wanted to go home.
• The Moron tribe can’t sleep. Their hut is not comfortable. They are tired. Woe is the Moron tribe.
• Ryan S. was mistaken for a fishing spear and thrown into the ocean by his tribe never to be heard from again.

Moron Tribe Day 7:
Head shots of the tribe (boy does Rhino have beautiful eyes).

Andrew says, “We only have 6 tribemates left. I keep looking around for 2 more.”  Andrew, honey, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not as smart as that tree over there, because you are.

Lull is praying for her husband, her troop, her new friend Mitchell – oops I mean Ryan. She laments that she lost her new best friend at tribal council last night. Don’t worry dear. If your tribe loses another IC, you’ll see him again soon.

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Andrew and Lull discuss the day’s issues: whether or not Dumb Dorrah has a personality, what a hypochondriac Boston is, how annoying Ti-whine-a is, who they’re going to prom with, where to find a live chicken to sacrifice so Jobu will help with fast ball. They’re dealing with a lot of stuff here.

Cut to Boston, who says he spoke with the good man upstairs and is not going to quit – that is, unless he catches pneumonia. Interesting. It appears the Moron’s hut has no roof but does have a second floor.

He also mentions that the tribe needs to start winning challenges. Ya gotta get up early in the morning to fool THIS guy.

Another confessional from Andrew yakking about sucking it up and winning challenges. Gee, if this tribe worked half as hard as they complained, Hagrid and his buccaneers wouldn’t stand a chance in the challenges. Andrew’s vast experience on the daytime talk show circuit has made him an expert psychologist and he’s appointed himself to be Boston’s life coach because Boston has “mental infirmities” and needs to be nursed back to the plow horse he was when he first stepped foot on the beach. Face it Andrew, you just want to make sure Boston over-performs in the next challenge so nobody will notice you’re not all that.

Andrew and Ti-whine-a are sharing some pillow talk (sans pillows). Andrew mentions something about having to get OT up for the challenge. I tell you every season of Survivor seems to get easier. This time they have internet access to check with the Blows boards before their next move. You’d think with that kind of a resource they’d show much better strategy.

Cut to Dreck (thank goodness – all the editing in the world can’t make those Morons interesting). They are trying to figure out the clues on the partial treasure map they won in the last reward challenge. There is some speculation as to the contents of the treasure. Hagrid, who is way too into the pirate theme if you ask me, hopes it’s a bottle of rum. Yo ho ho.

Trish hopes for clothes and potato chips. She doesn’t understand the pirate theme, I guess. I’m personally hoping the individuality MB took from each contestant before they were shipwrecked is in there.

We hear several non-descript people discuss how they went out looking for the treasure but didn’t find it. It looks to me like this group couldn’t poor pi$$ out of their boots if the directions were written on the sole.

Hagrid whines about the group going off without a plan and looking for the treasure in illogical places. He says, “People aren’t stupid”. Has he looked around?

Back to the Morons for tree mail.
Ti-whine-a reads the message:
People stink
Boats sink
Win the fight
Sleep well tonight

Rhino deduces that sleep must mean the reward is pillows and blankets. Now, I’ve been reading Rhino’s postings on Blows for years and expected him to be much more entertaining once he got on Survivor. Frankly, I’m disappointed.

Back to Dreck where they are discussing who should sit out for the challenge: Jon and Sandra get into a pi$$ing match over who is the weaker swimmer. Oh goodie, finally, a conflict. This looked so exciting in the previews last week. They yell, they scream, they use the f word. Christa continues napping while the argument is going on right next to her. Sandra wags her finger in Jon’s direction, but her technique falls far short of the Calloway finger wag. Heck everyone in this Survivor falls short of anyone in any previous Survivor – even Lamber had more personality than this group (note to self: read a book next Thursday at 8 pm EDT).

As the cameraperson counts Jon’s ribs, Jon bets a mill that Sandra won’t win this thing (foreshadowing? The spoilers start looking for other clues). Sandra tells the camera that Jon is an ass and everything he says is ridiculous. This is the most intelligent statement heard so far this episode. Unfortunately, Sandra reminds me of this really bossy girl that lived on my hall freshman year of college, so now I might decide to like Jon just because Sandra doesn’t.

Snapping Duck Bay - Reward Challenge:
2 boats per tribe. 3 people per boat. Sink other tribe’s boats to win. Grappling hooks are provided to pull corks out of the side of the boats. Kids – do not try this at home.
Jon and Michelle sit out. Sandra must have convinced the tribe she’s the better swimmer.

While the Morons try to figure out how to use the oars, Hagrid uses his enormity to push the Moron’s boats under water. Dreck wins easily – again. Jiffy reminds us that this is 4 victories in a row for Dreck (thanks Jiffy, nobody figured that out). Lull takes one of the pulled-out corks and plugs up Jiffy’s mouth with it. America cheers.

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