• The Weaver family confronts the Linzes about being Yielded. • Two hot air balloons bump into each other. • Teams sit around, waiting for Old Faithful to erupt. • The Weavers and Bransens finish first and second, but are told the leg isn't over yet.
After the credits roll by, we pick up right where we left off. The Bransens and Weavers are running to Phil, expecting sweet Pit Stoppage in their future. Aha, but there's a twist! Phil tells them the leg isn't over yet and that they're still racing. Gawd. They're recapping the recap again. And I'm recapping the recap of the recap.
Phil, in one of his groovy voiceovers, tells us that teams must now travel to Dubois, Wyoming and find Turtle Ranch to get their next clue.
While the Bransen girls go off to complain about their starvation and general crabbiness, the Godlewskis are heading toward the ranch. But first, Christine has to chat with her good friend, the telephone operator, about their problems. That is, until Michelle, the Bane of All Joy & Happiness, yells at her to get back in the car.
The Weavers pull into a gas station to ask for directions to Turtle Ranch. One of the kids, let's call her Sally, wants to fill up the car while they're waiting around. Mama Weaver thinks that's a stupid idea. Even though gas is free to the teams and Sally's sitting around doing nothing, filling up is a bad strategy. Take that, OPEC.
Meanwhile, our favorite Bengals fans, the Linzes, arrive at the ranch and run to Phil. Phil tells 'em they're team number three, but, aha! There's a twist! This leg isn't over yet and that they're still racing. Shocking but true.
The Godlewskis pull into the ranch also. Knowing that they're hopelessly in last place, Christine begins to weep. She really hopes that they're not eliminated. Luckily for her, there's a twist! Aha! Phil tells them the leg isn't over yet and they're still racing. Interestingly, Christine continues to cry. Tears of joy? Probably not.
Amidst all these mixed blessings, the Bransens finally arrive at Turtle Ranch. Unfortunately, the ranch is closed and will open tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM. Instead of having a pitstop in the last episode, the producers decided to have a massive bunching point as a final "screw you" to the viewers at home. Last week's episode is officially moot.
Speaking of Turtle Ranch, the Weavers are having a sophisticated discussion right now about the subject. You see, Turtle Ranch is where they "make all the turtles." In fact, Turtle Ranch is the nations' largest turtle manufacturer. Located in sunny Wyoming, Turtle Ranch is the ideal place to visit for your turtle needs.
Eventually, all the teams arrive at Turtle Ranch. The Weavers, as usual, hide in their trailer, bitterly trashing the other teams. The unclean, Satanic families simply go to bed, like the little heathens they are.
The following morning, the gates to the ranch open and the teams sprint to their SUVs. For those of you keeping score, the Linzes are off first, followed by the Weavers, Bransens, and then the Godlewskis, in that order. They follow along a dirt path until they reach the clue box.
GuyLinz1 opens the clue. Detour! This week's Detour options are Pioneer Spirit or Native Tradition.
• Step One - Each family must attach four wheels to a covered wagon. • Step Two - Then, get the horses and correctly hook them to the wagon. • Step Three - Ride that wagon to victory. • Length of Course - Quarter Mile • McDonald's Hamburger - Quarter Pounder • Oregon Trail - Best. Computer Game. Ever.
• Objective - Teams must carefully assemble a IndianNative American teepee using lots of poles and stuff. • Judge - Native American chief. • Jury - The viewers at home. • Executioner - The Philiminator.
The Linzes and Bransens opt to do the brainless, jock task (the wagons) and the annoying teams do the teepees. Oh goody. One of the Weaver girls thinks the Native American chief is "cute." That's right, Sally. The cute Native American chief is over there in Aisle 7 next to the turtles.