All season long I had intended to watch at least one episode of Wickedly Perfect before getting to this one, but the road to heaven is paved with good intentions, so I must be going to hell. Or am I going to heaven because I procrastinate? Isnít there a saying ďprocrastination makes you go blindĒ, or is it ďprocrastination makes the heart grow fonderĒ? Oh never mind, you didnít come here to read a solo agnostic debate about procrastination and going to hell, you came here to read a summary of the show Wickedly Perfect.
Previously on Wickedly Perfect, Mitch got rid of Kimberly and now they are down to the final 5. Mitch and Dawn on the Artisans team are pondering the ramifications of making it to the final 5, and Dawn doesnít even want to think about it, as if it is some jinx.
We begin on Day 20 in the estate with Joan Lunden and the two teams. Joan welcomes the Crafty Beavers (Amy, Darlene, and Heather) and the Artisans (Mitch and Dawn). Oh my god, who named them the Crafty Beavers? At first I thought it was a joke. Once I got the brownie I was chewing dislodged from my throat and cleaned up the milk I spilled on the carpet, I realized that they were serious. That really is the team name! Joan announces that the project is going to be the landscaping of a city lot.
Now for the really big news, the TWIST! Whatís a good reality TV show without a twist after all. As the music takes on an ominous and portentous tone, Ms. Lunden tells the teams that they will need help in order to complete their tasks in 24 hours. Enter the Not So Wickedly Perfect, rejects that have already left the show. (Iíll call them Not Soís for short) Didnít they leave the game for a reason? What are they doing back here now? Simple, as Joan explains, the teams will get to take their choice from any of the Not Soís, and since the Artisans have one less player, they get to choose first.
The Artisans choose Tim, and Mitch reveals that it is for his carpentry skills that will be needed for this task.
The 3 ladies of the Crafty Beavers confer; they must decide whom to take next. Heather and Amy ask Darlene if they can pick Tom.
Darlene: I canít
Amy: Oh please?
Darlene: I canít, I canít, I canít
Thank god they show a flashback to day 3 that tells me why Darlene is so stressed over picking Tom. Way back when they had a conflict, and it seems that might be why Tommy boy isnít in the game anymore.
Heather: But we need a man.
Darlene: We donít need a man
Amy: Can we?
Darlene: Oh, OK
And they pick Tom, who resembles Kevin Spacey with a dye job. Heck he even sounds like Kevin Spacey. What a sweetheart too, he walked right over to Darlene and gave her a big hug.
The Artisans choose Mitchí nemesis Kimberly with their next pick, then the Crafty Beavers select Denise, next is Michelle, and then a woman named Michael only I donít think that is how she spells it, but since that is what it sounds like, it works for me. The last one standing on the stairs waiting to be picked was Margot, but mercifully she was picked by the Artisans and spared the humiliation of not being put on a tribe team.
Each team will get 24 hours to transform their city lots. They can go shopping online at Sears and get whatever tools they need within a $5000.00 budget. Included in the urban makeover must be a picnic area and a meditation spot. Also, for the individual competition, each person will make his or her own topiary.
What is a topiary? Iím glad you asked, because I had no idea. I thought I had an idea, well actually I did have an idea, but when I googled ďtopiaryĒ I found out that my idea was way off base. A topiary is a groomed shrub. Traditionally they are round and very meticulously pruned to get into the appropriate shape and size. They most certainly are NOT shaped like a shoe or a mushroom, or Betty Rubbles hairdo for that matter.
But thatís not all folks. Want to know what the really big super duper reality twist of the century? The Not Soís on the winning team will have a chance to get back into the game, all they have to do is help their team win, and then have the best individual project, and voila, they are back in the game. But, if a Not So doesnít have a better topiary than the real Wickedly Perfectís who are still in the game on their own merit, then there wonít be anybody new entering the game and they will be gone this time for real. Really.
I have a question. This game is supposed to be Wickedly Perfect right? Why on earth would they force these perfect people into a grueling task of such proportion and give them only 24 hours in which to do it? I have some landscaping and building experience and I know that for all that is expected of these people there is no way in hell it is going to come out wickedly perfect in such a short time, I donít even think they could get it almost perfect for that matter. Iím sure they will give it the old college try, but even with the wonderful tools they get at Sears, it just seems like too much to ask.
Sorry, Iíll get back to the summary now. After showing how excited everybody is, everybody except the real wickedly perfects who now feel threatened by the very existence of people that they have gotten rid of previously, they show both teams and their shopping sprees at Sears. Wow, I didnít know that Amy had a fetish for post-hole diggers. The Artisans seemed to think they all needed chain saws, Iím sure that Tim ďthe Tool-manĒ Taylor would give his seal of approval on the idea. And speaking of tools, Mitch is really cute. But no matter what tools they got, you know they got them all at a good price at Sears. Did I mention the quality you can get at Sears too?