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Wickedly Perfect - Episode 2 Summary

'Never Serve Warm Champagne' By volsfan
Original Airdate: January 13, 2005

I want to start off by saying that I still find myself giggling like a little schoolgirl every time Joan Lunden says Crafty Beavers. BWAHAHAHA! This is worth watching the show all by its self.

Day four starts where last week left off…Darlene talking! Her voice is just like that shrill screeching noise a train makes as the brakes are applied. All I hear is BRAK BRAK BRAK dictatorship BRAK BRAK BRAK! Something tells me Darlene is getting ready to take the crown that Tom left when he departed.

Ms. Lunden interrupts breakfast to give them their new challenge. Crafty Beavers will get to choose first for winning last week. There are six envelopes to choose from. First set is red or white and Crafty Beavers choose red and Artisan gets white. Artisan gets next pick between big or little and they pick little leaving Crafty Beavers with big. Crafty Beavers go with American outside giving Artisan French inside. Darlene gives a shout of happiness due to something unknown to anyone. WTF is she happy about? I can just hear her brain screaming French on inside…American on outside! Idiot of mega proportions.

Joan goes on to explain that red/white determines the color of wine they will serve at a dinner party they have to throw. The big/little determines the kitchen they will be cooking in. Artisan isn’t happy because they made the decision for little and will be cooking in the much smaller kitchen upstairs wile the Crafty Beavers will boil water downstairs in the main kitchen.

French inside/American outside determines where the entertaining will take place. Crafty Beavers choose American outside and will serve their dinner party outside by the pool The American portion represents the type of entertainment…a team of American synchronized swimmers. Artisan will be serving inside with a French mime as the guest entertaining. Ok, I don’t know how this turns out but I am putting all my money on the beavers! Seriously, who the heck likes those pesky mimes anyway?

They must cook a 3-course meal and they have to make enough for 12 people. They will be judged on drinks/appetizers and then dinner/desserts. The judges will visit each place twice. The budget for each team is $2,500! WTF? Are they expected to serve caviar? I will cook the meal for them for $2,500 and they won’t have to do anything! They will be judged on creativity, presentation and the taste of the food.

The individual projects will consist of making a gift basket for each judge and the budget is $40 per basket. The two creators from the losing team with the least creativity will be up for elimination. They have 36 hours to complete their mission.

Whew! Ok, everyone still with me? That was the tough part and now let’s get to the drama of it all!

The Crafty Beavers are strategizing on what they are going to do. Mitch suggests plain and simple with modest decoration (50’ish style) and Denise says that she likes it when guest are allowed to prepare certain parts of their food. They feel as if they are part of the process. Are you freaking kidding me? Denise honey, stick to changing diapers! When you are going to spend on average $200/person you would hope the food would jump into the guest mouth! I understand that they have to decorate but let’s say they spend half the total on the food, $100/person is still a great meal with wine.

Team Artisan is shown talking and Michelle reveals that she knows French and she can cook a killer lobster. I have to give Darlene some credit here because she keeps her mouth shut and says she trusts Michelle. Team Artisan is going with lobster and lamb. I think this is a good meal but I think they should do something a little more French than this.

Mitch wants the Crafty Beavers to have an eloquent dinner. He says they should go with deviled eggs. They all keep discussing what they are going to do.

Heather and Diane (Crafty Beavers) call the offices for the swim team and ask if they make the team very nice robes would they wear them and serve appetizers. The team agrees and Heather says she is wearing a flowered swim cap! This is shaping up to be great if they can pull it off.

Denise decides it is time to tell Mitch that he isn’t letting her blossom. What’s wrong my little honeysuckle? Did that mean florist smack your wittle hand when you tried to add a branch to the display during the last challenge? WTF ever, just do your thing ad everyone will be ok.

Michelle and Margo go shopping and purchase their lamb and 12 lobsters. After buying everything they need for dinner, they have spent $1008.07. They didn’t even spend half the money and they bought lobster and lamb! However, when Margo and Michelle return and tells Darlene that they spent $1,000, Darlene explodes like one of the volcanoes MB showed us in Vanuatu! She can’t believe they spent that much. WTF? Darlene needs to stick to designing and decorating. Hell, is there anyone worth being on this show? The show is looking for someone PERFECT! None of these idiots are anywhere close.

Darlene also complains to Michelle that she needs to go buy fabric. Michelle gets irritated and tells Darlene that she is going to buy pots and pans and that Darlene will have to go buy fabric some other time! Darlene complains to the camera that no one ever listens to her suggestions. Um…Darlene, if you ever have a good idea I am sure they will listen.

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