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Paradise Hotel 1 - Episode 25 Summary

'Getting Two Birds With One Stone' By Angelfood
Original Airdate: September 15, 2003

On previous PH, Scott and Hollow fight and Bozo & Melonbrain get voted on. Theme music starts
Announcer - "TONIGHT, on PH, a shocking twist that no one's expecting."
Kicked-off girl (30 mins later) - "We thought this was gonna happen."
FOX LIES like Zack's Brain!!!!!!!! anyhoo,

D-"Toni and I can do celebrity Boxing every nite." Dave, this is why we love you. Where's Keith?
Scotty, why do you have more of a discussion and rational talk with your boy Dave (about the Matt thing), and your feelings being hurt, than you do with Hollowhead? Maybe cuz D cares more about your feelings apparently. Things that make u go hmmn...

Amy & Mel are in bed together, under the sheets, but not touching or smoking a cigarette, so leave it up to your own imagination. They are discussing Scott and how he is now loyal to Hollow, what a bummer. Him & Mel had an "understanding" or somesuch. Still don't see Keith yet.

Team Mean - What egotism propels you to believe that one of the Barbies are leaving tonight and that you should strategize, plot and plan the future as to which one? Neither Malibu Charla nor Beach Fun Tara are goin. Get it? good. Still no Keith, me worried.

Mel on Scott - S - <"What, I don't wanna snuggle now, HO, now go make me some lunch 'fore I b-slap ya. Yeah. And get me a cold brewski from the fridge, woman!"> For a truly funny comment on this, see RollDdice's posting also, too bad Charla didn't see this, and realize that she's not the only girl getting put off by Scotty Boy.

Lunch time:
D - "whoa, we really have to cook?" Yes, Des. <"REally?", yes, really honey. "really?" yes, didnt I tell you yes 400 times yet last ep.? geez, get a hearing aid already, hon. "really". no, they lie, the PH producers have never not-meant what they said.>
C - "uh, that's nasty". . Keith is still conspicuously absent - me worried.
Nobody eats. Who'd blame them. The meat is all undercooked and falls apart at the touch. Amy cuts the sausage all to pieces (lucky guy, that Zack). Amy makes guacamole and licks the spoon and bowl while she's mixing. We know this is a secret, evil plot to incapacitate the men by putting powdered poison in the mix (I've seen this on General Hospital, so I know it can happen). Either that, or they are worried about her transmuting disease thru her saliva. Me smart.

Tara takes PB&J to keith, who's in bed. Finally - we see Keith. They claim that he is sick, but we know better.
1. Tara really wears him out at night.
2. Mel kissed him and now he's got a love bug.
3. Lamy put the hex on him.
4. Charla was in bed all day, then Dave last week, it's just Keith's turn this week to say, "I've had enough" (even tho that's lamy's line).

Dave IS smart, look at his guessing everyone's allies/rivals. I bet he was 90% correct, I wager that he indeed, just might be, the SMARTEST ONE THERE, like he claimed that ep. where Toni yelled at him for telling someone that. Well, doggone it, Toni, HE WAS RIGHT. Yea Dave! Although, that's not saying much.

Lamy talks about friends and not voting them off. . Lemme write my own version of Lamy's speech:
<"Woe is me. I'm so miserable here. I've had enough. I'm nothing without Zack. Pieta, pieta! Oh, it's torture: to be waited on hand and foot, to have friends here and no one harassing me to my face, to have to look at Keith every single day (knowing he'll outsmart us and that his abs are better than Zack's), to have the huge, unfulfilled responsibility of avenging Zack (that Keith sure is slick), and to suffer the title of "ugliest girl in paradise". What's a girl to do?"> <"Oh, yeah, and , um, voting off your friends is mean, and not cool, and I could never do it, its not worth it, so, ....if you are one of us, you would never do it either, especially to me, or Zack, cuz we are like the most deserving and accomplished people ever to walk the face of the Mars, oops, I mean, Earth.> Boo hoo hoo.

Malibu and BeachFun Barbies do their own friendship toast, in bed, although sitting up, unlike A & M. C-<"Minime, you complete me.>

Tension: Hostess-"Des, go snag yourself a man",
Mel almost approaches Scott (holly seethes), but picks Dave (who is too good to her), which was her plan all along (to try to oust C), so why the drama? Scott sighs some relief, and Holly is beaming with joy. D picks his cutie and Mel, yes, will be leaving. Not the only girl tonight - all girls look shocked, except Des, who smirks. Mel, who's your rival? Des smiles (not her, so not to worry). Mel, who's your allies? Amy smiles and Des gets bigger smile . Mel must pick an ally.

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. Which old witch? The Wicked Witch.
(wait, I'll save that song for lamy).
Melanie is dumped, and everyone's favorite go-along-puppy, Desperatee, runs over and throws herself on the sacrificial fire to save her good friend Amy. Does A stop her and sacrifice herself instead? Noooo. Does Amy allow it? Yes. I want some followers, uh i mean friends, like Lamy's.
So, on the walk of shame out, Mel and Des wave bye to everyone, as they pass Holly, a smirk of glee is evident on Holly's face.

B -"Seems like the good people...always...go <...over to Barbie side? over a cliff? insane?>

Then, the highlight of my evening, is a big fight with Hollow and RobotScott. (too big, needs its own posting). As if it could get any better after losing Desperatee? IT does. Amazingly so.
Check for my next posting: Scott Speaks!

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