*Summary readers note: I chose to use italics this time for my own snide comments and opinions so as to not offend or confuse those who might not otherwise appreciate my wit or sense of humor. And if I thought my last summary was long, I apologize for the length of this one even more. But it had to be done for the full affect, IMO. *
Last week on Joe Schmo: Everett has gone to the great beyond, another message from above for Piper from Bryce, and Eleanor told off Austin and quit the show.
First up is our morning production meeting and Rhett Reese telling everyone that “Tim and Amanda are really into this now, too into it in fact, so spread the wealth of affections today and don’t focus on Tim and Amanda as we don’t want any broken hearts” ummm, exsqeese me? Shouldn’t we have thought this one over before bringing them on a show where the goal, supposedly, is to find love?. And as always the comedy will come out of the reality don’t even get me started on this statement so keep it real. Uh huh.
With the group all gathered outside for lunch we discover that Cammy doesn’t wear any panties (as often as possible) and has nothing on under her short little skirt, which opens the door for TJ to bring up the “Porked and beans” video. There is discussion over the word beans or is it (anal) beads (this from Ingrid). Cammy fesses up and says she did it. Now can we all just get over it and move on with our lives?
But wait, what is the engine we hear yonder in the sky? And why does this excite Amanda? Ahh, yes, yet another banner from our outcast phsycho stalker Bryce. This time it says “LOOK BEHIND U” which is not what I would want to hear from a phsycho stalker type person, but that’s just me and everyone looks behind them obedient bunch that they are and lo and behold Bryce is back.
To some Monty Python-ish trumpet blast Derek states that everyone must remember how Austin asked for Ingrid to be reinstated after the whole “grandfather incident” and that they decided to extend the same courtesy to Piper and since Bryce has shown such devotion to Piper, sending banner after banner after banner that he too has been reinstated. Derek, as he is leaving says “oh, one more thing. Derek giveth and Derek taketh away. There will be an eviction ceremony tonight and one of you gentlemen will be gone”. Well alrighty then.
They catch Bryce up on the game but not the death of his frog and Tim tries to make a pact with TJ that if one of them gets booted to send airplanes with banners to Piper. Good idea Tim, you are well on your way to becoming a creepy guy Oh, and let’s not mention the frog okay?
Back from commercial and we have the group assembled below the “window perches” that Austin and Piper will be on above as each has an opportunity in their own unique ways to profess their love from below in a Romeo and Juliet fashion. Austin and Piper will each pick a winner and get a one on one date with said winnar(s).
Gerold is up first and sings a song called “Blonde Buddies”, a cute little ditty that speaks of his feminine side and how they could be great girlfriends. Tim is up next with a bit of poetry “My knees are weak, my palms are sweaty, maybe she’ll arrive just wearing a teddy. Holy jackpot, she’s a beauty, I can only hope she thinks I’m a cutie. What tickles me most is your sweet Irish smile, your voice from the heavens, no one here in denial. For the recipe of love could not be much riper, just add a pinch of T-dubs and a beauty named Piper”. Well isn’t that special?
TJ is up next and does a rap song that was bleeped in the beginning and is filled with sex (Amanda says TJ is very sexual nah!! and she keeps thinking there must be more to him than that but she isn’t able to see it). Moving right along Amanda, in her little cheerleader outfit, does a cartwheel and tries a little poem which she can’t seem to get through without direction from Tim. Bless her heart anyway
PhsychoBryce is up next and explains he saw a program on TV about the early communication of man before he begins screaming his lungs out gee and I thought that was what was going to happen when he learned of Everett’s demise, not a love thing and everyone seems pretty amused by it. He tries to climb up to Piper and Derek keeps telling him to stop, which he finally does.
Ingrid is going to paint a portrait of Austin (with her toes, mind you) while reciting the Preamble to the Constitution of the United States, which she had never read, to kind of make fun of her supposed WTF? supposed?intellectual capabilities. OMG, splendid job girl, it looks just like him!!
Cammy is going to make balloon animals and what she does with the air pump looks like it belonged in her video. The first one is a ??????? a dog maybe? But the next one is special, it is a frog? And she says “it’s Everett” as the looks of gloom and doom spread on the other faces around her. We then see a candid shot of Everett with his name and 2001-2004, a fitting tribute.
Austin selects Cammy and Piper chooses TJ. Derek informs them they will have a dinner date and hopes everyone doesn’t wind up like Romeo and Juliet. Back to the shot of Everett 2001-2004.
Around the table now it is impression time: Amanda does a hilarious but on the money impression of Dereks’ impression of whoever he is impersonating. Cammy does an impression of TJ while looking directly at Gerold who is confused for a second, along with everyone else until she explains it is an impression of TJ. Whew! Bryce does an impression of Gerold and everybody loses it, laughing hysterically. This ends as we focus on Cammy’s boobs and whether they should rest on the table or under it and goes right into a contest in guessing Cammy and Ingrids’ bust sizes. TJ wins.
But now it is time for dessert and we get to view Cammy’s video at TJ’s request with never before seen intro and though Tim doesn’t understand the fetish, talks about tingling, which he says he will explain later. Ingrid gets up and pops the “Everett” balloon, apologizing for stepping on Everett, so of course we go to the picture of Everett 2001-2004 and Cammy offers what is left of it to Bryce. who knows, maybe she feels responsible for being a crappy caretaker and ultimately for his death.