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Playing It Straight - Episode 1 Summary

'Girlfriend's Got No Gaydar' By volsfan
Original Airdate: March 12, 2004

The powers that be over at FOX have come up with an idea very similar to Bravo’s hit, Boy Meets Boy! It is sort of the same concept in that they have men, straight and gay, vying for the attention of a caller. However, in this spin, we get a not-so-gaydar-perfect female trying to determine the gay men that are competing with straight men to win money.

Our lovely lady is hoping to find love in all the wrong places! She has the opportunity to get to know 14 men and pick the one she thinks is the love of her last few weeks! If she picks a straight male, she and the male will win $500,000 each. If she picks a gay male, he will win one million dollars! At one point, our volatile vixen remarks that the gay men are only in it for the money. Come on honey…they are DAWs just like you and they want their 15 minutes of fame as well as the money!

FOX has been so kind to put this show in the time slot of Friday night at 8pm! Other than SVU, I don’t know of a program that has been a Friday night hit in a few years. Oh well, I guess we will have to take what we have. What we have is a pretty cute little show!

Just lemme rant here for a second. This show is given a cowboy motif and for the life of me I haven’t figured out why. Is this setting supposed to help the straight men, as they should thrive on a farm setting? Is this setting supposed to help our little drama queen determine the gay peeps easier? I have no idea…however; the name of the ranch truly is a keeper!

You guys ready?

You sure?

The name of the ranch is SIZZLING SADDLES! I think the last gay porn I rented had this title! I mean, come on folks, there are so many gay jokes to insert here it isn’t even funny. Why not just call it BLISTERING BACKSIDES, FIREY FANNIES, or HOT A$$ES?

Before we get to the show…let’s meet our lovely contestants!

The hostess with the mostess is Daphne Brogdon. She wears some of the costumes from that porn I rented…what was its name? Oh yeah, Sizzling Saddles! I think she was the drag queen performing I Will Survive! It was the first scene in the movie and she did very well, but the costumes were just terrible.

Our lovely gaydar challenged female star of the show…Jackie, a college student from Appleton (Lord help us if they drag out that ugly forsaken Granny Smith Apple from Forever Eden! YUCK!) Wisconsin.

Now for the meat and muscles, I have to say that this is arguably the best looking group of men on a single reality show! Nice scenery for the ladies and gay men everywhere! Here we go…

• Alex is a law student from Washington D.C. He is very quiet during this episode and we don’t get a good look at him. He is someone that seems to get lost in the other 13 guys!

• Banks is a software consultant from San Diego (this would be a great job for a gay guy, consulting SOFTware! An expert from day one)! He also shaves his entire body! Banks is very well built. He has that little puppy dog face that makes you want to go….AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

• Bill is an event promoter from Valley Glen CA. Bill has rugged looks and seems to be very out going and out spoken. He also looks like someone that spends a lot of time in front of the mirror!

• Bradley is a bartender from Pflugerville, PA. I hope the P is silent! Bradley likes to spend a lot of time on his hair! This may just be a problem for him in the end…not that end peeps! Get your mind outta the gutter! He is given a hard time because he is the only male to have a hair dryer!

• Chad is in corporate communications from Austin, TX. This job would give him great experience in dealing with people and communicating with them! I will have to watch him very closely! Chad has the type of personality that seems to be lay low. He doesn’t seem to be as out going as some of the guys!

• Chris is a retired entrepreneur from Atlanta, GA. So young and cute to be retired! I may have to look him up after the show! There is something about Chris’ voice that makes me stop and think if he is gay? So many questions and so few answers.

• Eddie is a schoolteacher from Miami, FL. I must say that they didn’t make school teachers like this when I was in school! However, he comes across as being dumber than a box of rocks!

• Gust is a real estate agent from Chicago, IL (with a name like Gust, he should be a meteorologist!). Very slender man with some blue eyes. At times he comes across as having some feminine qualities and then other times I don’t pick up on it.

• John is a bartender from Atlanta, GA. This guy comes across as being gay and I thought so the first time I saw him. I think I am living in the wrong southern state! John can be a drama queen at times!

• Lee is a financial consultant from N. Huntington, PA. This guy loves to bake and cheesecake is his specialty…hmmmm. Lee is a guy that could swing either way. He is on my “I dunno yet” list.

• Louis is a brokerage firm manager from Fort Worth, TX. Louis is just that boy next door that is so nice and kind. He should feel right at home on the farm or should I say Sizzling Saddles!

• Luciano is a personal trainer from Miami Beach, FL. This guy is the best looking on the show IMHO. WOWSA! He has the looks, the body and seems to be playing the game very well. But, maybe I am just being bias!

• Ryan is a waiter from Santa Monica, CA. This guy just has that gay look to me! Come on sweetie…you’re a waiter! I know that everything is telling me he is gay but watch him be one of the straights! This could be the one that messes me up.

• Sharif is a musician from Arlington, VA. Sharif has some of the whitest teeth I have ever seen! Again, another quiet one that is going to be hard to call unless he gets more involved.

Well folks…there you have it. We have the set-up, the rules and the players. What do you say we get to the show itself! UMKAY!

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