Julia impresses some snotty high school students with grilled cheese and wins a trip to Las Vegas. What’s a trip to Vegas without a little fresh airhead? She takes Jen along. Josh screws up too many things to count and is escorted out of the kitchen by his ego. Bonnie, who has her best.night.evah, nominates Julia and Rock for elimination. Julia goes bye-bye but ends up with an all expense paid trip to culinary school courtesy of Chef Ramsey. What a sweetheart he is.
And now….the continuing saga of Top Chef Lite, aka Hell’s Kitchen.
On the way back to their quarters….Rock pulls Jen aside to apologize for his rude, thoughtless, childlike, insensitive, baby-like behavior. Apparently he’s learned from messing up with his wife that women like men to apologize. It’s not that he screws up at home, he just likes to apologize. All you guys out there that aren’t married…please add these words to your vocabulary….”I’m Sorry Dear”
Jen and Bonnie share an embrace over Julia’s departure. No…they don’t kiss. Bonnie is going to miss seeing her smiling face. To tell you the truth, I am too, although, I can’t remember ever seeing her smile. Rock is also sad because he was so proud of her. Maybe if he’s so sad he should volunteer to take her place?
Jen, although half stoned on pot and partially out of it, realizes that Rock wants to win. This is a huge revelation for her.
The next morning Chef calls them all downstairs to meet someone who means a lot to Chef. Yep…you guessed it….the woman who spawned Lucifer. Good ole Mum Ramsey, carrying a tray of hers and her wittle boy’s favorite dish, Macaroni & Cheese. Chef grew up on this stuff. So we now officially know that Mum Ramsey didn’t always cook Gordon meals of goat’s blood and eye of newt. She was also in tune with muggle-cuisine…I mean comfort food.
Today’s Quickfire Challenge (yeah…I thought this looked familiar from that other show) is to take an American classic and give it an updated taste. Go from homemade to gourmet in an hour.
Bonnie chooses first and gets Franks & Beans. *cue Warren Jensen repeating “Franks & Beans” over and over in “Something About Mary”*. Bonnie feels that Franks and Beans are a British Classic NOT American. Chef is boggled that Bonnie has never had a Frank with her Beans.
Next up, Jen chooses Fried Chicken. She’s so excited! She gets this maniacally crazed dazed daydreaming look on her face. “I can do something with that” she tells Chef as she imagines herself field dressing cats back on the farm in Hazelton PA.
Finally Rock chooses Spaghetti & Meatballs.
They have one hour to update their classic American dish. Bonnie is still confused about what Franks & Beans are? *cue Warren Jensen repeating “Franks & Beans” over and over in “Something About Mary”*. Apparently Bonnie HAS eaten a weiner before. It’s the beans that confuse her. All disgusted she exclaims “Franks and “bleepin” Beans!!!” in front of Satan’s Mum. Chef scolds her for the use of profanity in front of a lady.
All 3 chef’s create their masterpieces. After the hour is up, they present their dishes to Gordon and his Mum. Bonnie has turned her Franks & Beans into mini bruchetta. Rock did a “Study of 3 pastas” and Jen did a fried chicken Roulade (forgive my lack of culinary term knowledge). Chef will NOT be judging this competition. He has 3 surprise judges to help him taste their food, their own mothers. *Cue Marion Cunningham, June Cleaver, and Weezie Jefferson*
Jen breaks down in tears because her mommy is here. *Cue Jen’s huge droopy sad face*. She starts whining and crying. Awwww my mommmmmyyyyyyy. She speaks sooooooo slow. It’s like she just finished the Zinfandel, Vodka, Nyquil AND smoked a fat boy.
The moms will taste each dish and choose the winner. Jen whines that she’s worried her mom will hate her dish. Bonnie thought it was fun to watch them eat their food.. They don’t often get gourmet food from the trailer park. All contestants are on edge. The suspense is killing me.
All three votes go for Jen. *Cue Jen’s huge droopy happy face*, which is surprisingly similar to her huge droopy sad face. She practically falls on the floor crying, arms flailing in the air in a “praise the lord” fashion, jumping up and down like a kid who has to use the potty but doesn’t want to stop playing in the sandbox.
Now Jen feels she’s justified for being there. It’s not just a joke anymore, she does have talent! Besides all their Mom’s liked her cooking best. Competition over!
As a reward, Jen and her mom Carol get to have lunch with Gordon and his Mom. The other two get to clean the dorms, without their moms. Hugs and kisses to the loser moms and their loser kids as the kids go off to clean the barracks.
Once back in the room, Bonnie volunteers to make the beds because that’s all she knows how to do. Oh yeah, she can also Windex stuff. That’s leaves just about all the cleaning to Rock. So much for that Nanny of the year award. Good thing there’re no dirty diapers to change. Bonnie lets us know that she’s really a personal chef that does a little bit of baby sitting on the side. So THAT’s the definition of nanny. I never knew that. Thanks for clearing that up! Bonnie gets a little bossy with Rock giving orders of what to do. He asks what else he can do for her and she lets him know that she could use a foot rub. Rock lets us know that Bonnie is Moody AND Bossy but his afternoon with her was generally Aiight.
Meanwhile back at the restaurant, Jen is enjoying her one on one time with Chef. She feels it’s been the single most important time she’s had. Too bad she’s too stoned and high to appreciate it. After Lunch, Chef takes Jen and her mom to a kitchen supply store where they get to spend $1,000 on whatever their hearts desire. *Cue Jen’s huge droopy happy face* Ohhhhh my gawwwwwd!!! *jumping up and down*. They must not really have much in the coal regions of PA because she is just too darn excited over cake pans and blenders. She lets us know that she got a lot of stuff for her $1,000. Oh well, all good things must come to an end and its time for Carol to hit the road. So nice to see ya Carol…next time try to get a bit of camera time will ya? *Cue Jen’s huge droopy sad face* When she arrives back at the dorms, Jen and Bonnie give each other another big hug. Nope, still no kissing. You’ll have to catch that after hours on “Hell’s Kitchen After Dark“ on Showtime. Rock claims that being excluded from the hug doesn’t bother him. Right!
Jen in her confessional tells us that she needs to be confident and assertive to win. Rock is confident that he’s going to take charge. Bonnie just doesn’t want to get kicked out.
Back to the restaurant for tonight’s challenge:
Tonight is the most important dinner service of their lives. Bonnie feels she’s going to beat the crap out of Rock and Jen. Jen thinks the prize is hers. Rock can smell it. Clue to Rock…you’re smelling something but it ain’t what you think. *cue dancing flounder skeletons from prior episode*.
For this challenge, Gordon will get the service going, and then pass control of the kitchen over to each of the three of them. It will be their kitchen to run.
Chef pulls Bonnie aside for assertiveness training. Let’s play pretend. Chef tells Bonnie that he just passed her undercooked raw scallops. He wants her to show him that Firey B!tch he knows is deep inside her. She starts screaming at him. “Taste this…have you tasted anything tonight? You keep F’in up! One more time and you’re out of this kitchen. Get another pot on and get it done NOW!” Chef looks strangely aroused. “Bloody Hell, I got the message big time and I shall not screw up again”. Don’t look now but is that a rolling pin in your pocket Chef or are you just happy to see her?
Chef moves on to Rock. Chef tells Rock he just tried to make him look stupid. Rock starts off in this lame and timid voice. “What’s wrong with you? Why do we have this here. I told you how important that table was. What are you gonna give me…give me something else? What are you doing? Blah blah blah” I’m actually embarrassed for him. Jen and Bonnie are laughing their a$$es off listening to how lame he is. Chef tells Rock that he has no idea how STUPID he just sounded. He gives him a second chance though and Rock steps it up.
Now it’s Jen’s turn. Chef tells Jen he just screwed up an order big time. In her whiny drunk, high voice, she tries to sound assertive. “You think I worked bleepin 15 years for you to give me this? Go back and make it again” Chef tells her she sounds like a drunk Country-Western singer. Chef tells Jen that she should imagine he just put her golden retriever in the microwave and blew it up and served her raw Turbot. She yells at him and tells him to get the Bleepin Turbott Get the Bleep back on his station and to make it happen! Chef was impressed.
Time for Dinner Service
Dinner service starts out great with Gordon running the hot plate. It is their best.start.evah!
Gordon pulls Scott and Maryanne and tells them to sabotage certain dishes for the final 3 while they are running the kitchen.
Jen is first up to bat. She’s assertive calling the orders. Scott serves her some spaghetti with crab sans crab as requested by Chef Ramsey. Jen doesn’t notice and lets it go by to the servers. Chef Ramsay stops it with a loud “Awwww STOP!!!! What the bleep are you doing?” He has her taste the spaghetti to realize it is missing the crab. “You have to cook with your eyes” he says. Jen has Failed Chef Ramsey’s test and needs to recover. Jen catches some Risotto that is overcooked and underseasoned. Rock feels Jen is difficult to listen to and a little inexperienced. They still manage to get out apps and entrees.
It’s now Rock’s turn to lead the kitchen. Chef Scott prepares monk fish missing a key ingredient…..the monk. Rock catches it and sends it back to Scott to fix. He gets a “Well-spotted” from Chef. He passed quality control however…he’s too slow. Chef Ramsay is getting impatient. Bonnie feels that since Rock has been an executive Chef…he should be better. Hey Bonnie….You’ve been a nanny…nuff said. Chef tells Rock his fingers are slow. Rock claims he’s slow because he doesn’t want to mess anything up and wants to be efficient. Slow and efficiency go hand in hand just like cell phones and swimming pools.
Finally, it’s Bonnie’s turn at the helm. Bonnie confuses everyone by screwing up the orders, cancelling them and reordering. She does spot the sabotaged pigeon without crispy skin which impresses Chef. Sous Chef Scott wasn’t tricky enough on that one. She also spots Jen’s overcooked Risotto. Unfortunately there is no more cooked rice ready to remake it. This lands Jen with an “OH FVCKING HELL!” from Chef.
The patrons seem very happy tonight. They’re actually getting their free food. Service is nearly complete and Chef takes back control of the pass.
At the elimination ceremony, Chef tells the three that they had the best EVER service in Hell’s Kitchen. But wasn’t perfect. One of them will go home. He’ll judge them on their overall performance tonight. He sends them back tot the dorms to decide why they deserve to be finalists in Hell’s Kitchen. A tall order because it’s going to be difficult for him. Apparently he hasn’t read the spoilers and isn’t aware that _________ wins this thing!
Jen: I belooooong here…I honestly feel like I deserve it” Shakes airhead back and forth. Hear sound of rattles. She feels that she and Rock work hard at their jobs but sometimes she wonders if Bonnie’s heart is in the right place. Yeah….she should quit…she SHOULD quit. Why doesn’t she just quit? Why? Why????? (/Jan Brady questioning insecure voice).
Bonnie: She’s terrified to take the step and get around her fear. She’s been pushed to her limits and has gotten better. It will be hard to leave at this point.
Rock: This would mean everything to his family. It’s always been his dream to run a Rest-a-raunt. It would mean a great deal to him. He feels he needs to win.
Now its time to tell Chef why they should be finalists in HK
Bonnie: “I keep getting better and I’m a team player who can take it to the next step and be that person who people look to.” Yep…she has what it takes!
Jen: “I live for food and love learning. Being in the kitchen is my home. I’m a mouse and I’ve gained confidence. And it’s coming out every service.” *Cue Jen’s huge droopy sad face*
Rock: “I’ve grown as a person. I’m a leader who didn’t come here to finish 2nd or 3rd. I came to win the rest-aur- rant.
Chef thanks all 3 contestants. They all had tremendous highs this evening. (not just Jen toking on some mary jane). This is a tough decision for Chef. His decision is ……………………………………………….“Rock….*pause*…..you’ve got to go… *pause*……into the finals! Phew…had him scared there for a millisecond.
Bonnie & Jen hug again. Chef: “This is extremely difficult……..the person leaving is…………Jen! I just couldn’t take that look on your face anymore. Can’t tell if your happy or sad.” *Cue Jen’s huge droopy sad face*
Chef tells her that her enthusiasm is extraordinary but since he’s already broke the bank on Julia’s culinary school…he’s got nothing for her. Off to exile island sweetheart!
Shock and horror on Bonnie’s face. She tells Jen, “I’ll miss you….will you cook on my team?”
*Cue Daniel Powder’s Had a Bad Day during Flashback Scenes* Jen’s final words….”I’m from a small town and things like this don’t happen to people like me. *Cue Jen’s huge droopy sad face* I tried sooooo hard and sacrificed so much….but it wasn’t enough…sob…sob….sob. *Cue Jen’s huge droopy sad face* She’s gonna be successful…she knows.
Congrats to Rock and Bonnie…the finalists.
Chef has one last surprise for Rock and Bonnie.
Rock’s wife and Bonnie’s Mom and Dad. Rock immediately sprouts wood and asks for a conjugal visit. Bonnie hugs her parents although the conjugal visit with Rock isn’t entirely out of the question. He does know how to apologize to a woman afterall. Also..she’s heard that once you go…….oh nevermind.
Chef: “Bonnie & Rock…your biggest challenge is still ahead of you” *Cue room divider to fall, splitting HK into two separate restaurants*
Next time on HK…..Bonnie is determined…..Rock is determined….they’ll create their own menus…..design their own restaurants….complete will preplanned SNAFU’s……and surprises they’ve never thought of. Who will prove they have what it takes? Do you believe the spoilers? Don’t miss the next Hell’s Kitchen.