Last week on Hell’s Kitchen, fish got tossed out of a truck and the Blue Team got tossed out of the kitchen. Eddie got his picture burned, thus destroying his hope for any possible future endorsement deals with the Far East Pepper Company: "I never make risotto without it!" For all the gory details, please see Silvergirl’s excellent summary here.
We begin where we left off. That’s handy.
Rock’s nomination of Eddie and Josh for elimination has upset Josh. Well, obviously, he’s not upset about Eddie being nominated, just himself. I’m sure he doesn’t care too much about Eddie. Or really, anyone whose name isn’t Josh Whateverhislastnameis. Anyway, he blathers about the game being on. Rock tries to explain his reasoning to Josh, who says he disagrees. Rock tells us in confessional that he thinks Josh is bossy, but ineffective.
Meanwhile, the Red Team is patting themselves on the back for a great service. Julia acknowledges that she has a lot to learn and goes to study. Everyone goes to bed.
At 05:58 (that’s 5:58 a.m. for those of you who can’t handle the 24-hour clock), some guys from the military show up yelling at the cooks (is it chefs? I should ask Rock.) to get on their uniforms and get to the kitchen. Aaron gets a cramp. Melissa wears a look that promises retribution, if only she had the nerve. Bonnie rushes from the shower, and… Wait. Bonnie was in the shower? At earlier than six o’clock? *shudder* She is unhappy about looking like a drowned rat. She tries to make out like she’s upset about running around in her towel, but since the towel is actually comprised of more fabric than the bra and panties she’s been running around in, I don’t buy it. Vinnie has been to band camp. He mocks the bugle: “Reveille reveille!”
Rock is intent on being a team player. He tells us that a central part of being a team is not to leave anyone behind. He and Brad help Aaron get dressed. Aaron is embarrassed.
Chef Ramsay watches them file into the kitchen. He looks p!ssed. He tells them he is disappointed about last night. That’s the way to start your day. He announces they are opening for breakfast. They are to be consistent, is that clear? “Yes, chef!” Here are their customers, America’s finest: the Army and the Navy. Julia tears up with pride. Joanna thinks men in uniform are sexy.
Red will cook for 50 Army soldiers. Blue will cook for 50 Navy sailors. The first team to complete their service wins the challenge.
MaryAnn appoints Julia, the short-order cook, the leader of the Red Team. This was the best choice because the women kick butt. Julia organizes everyone and they work together well. Julia flips her omlettes with practiced skill. 17 minutes in, they’ve sent out 20 plates of food. Woo! But then, oh no! They hit a snag. Being fast is only good if the food is cooked and Joanna’s hash browns aren’t. They have to redo the meals with hash browns. They pull it together and finish their service.
Things have not gone so well for the Blue Team. Aaron has chosen to make omlettes. Scott wants to know if he thinks he can handle 5 or 6 orders at a time. His station catches fire and he has to toss 2 omlettes. So maybe not. Those same 17 minutes into service, the Navy has no food. One sailor jokes that he should join the Army. Josh and Brad take over the omlette station and food goes out. Alas, their hash browns are cold too. There is no cohesion on the Blue Team. Chef Ramsay sends Julia to help them. She takes charge. The boys are unhappy with their performance.
In summing up, Ramsay praises Red's teamwork and criticizes Blue’s "chaotic mess" and lack of a leader. Their punishment will be peeling 1000lbs of potatoes and onions, enough for a whole military base. Red will be going on a helicopter ride.
Some chick is so. excited. "We won again," she says, punctuating her words with a pointy finger. Apparently her name is Jen. Is she on this show? We never see her. I wonder how I will remember so nondescript a person. Hmmm. (That was foreshadowing. See how I slipped that in there?) Red goes on their reward trip.
The Voiceover Guy tells us that the Blue team is counting on every man to get the job done.
MOMENT ALERT! This is the moment we’ve been shown in the previews since the first episode. How exciting! We are about to see the ambulance being called for the big dramatic MOMENT. Are you ready? OK.
Aaron sways on his feet, falls down and goes boom. Blues fan him with trays and tell us in confessional that he fainted/took a header. They haul him to his feet, because you know, when a guy goes all wobbly, falls down and can’t seem to open his eyes, the best thing to do is get him to walk it off. Finally someone (probably the cameraman) calls for the ambulance that they have sitting out back waiting for these kinds of things and Aaron is sent to the hospital.
Evaluation of the MOMENT: I dunno. It wasn’t really all that dramatic. I mean, OK, there was a siren and some flashing lights, but no convulsions or breakage of any kind. Yes, a man’s life was potentially on the line, but fainting is so 19th-century - and he wasn’t even wearing a corset. I’m thinking only 3 stars out of 5.
And if you think that makes me cold, listen to Voiceover Guy: “While Aaron is rushed away to the hospital, the women are whisked away in a helicopter.”
They have fun in the helicopter and later on an aircraft carrier, the USS Midway. They hobnob with Chef. Chef gives them tips about running a restaurant.
Back in the kitchen, Blue is trying to figure out the most efficient way to peel everything. Josh is trying to lead. Rock wishes he would shut the eff up. They still don’t have a plan.
Red comes back from their reward and hit the hot tub. Blue finishes their punishment and has a meeting about who’s going to be the leader. Rock wants to be. So does Josh. So does Brad. So does Vinnie. Josh changes his vote to support Brad, thus making him the leader. He does this entirely to stick it to Rock. Good strategy. If Brad turns out to be a good leader, it looks like Josh has good judgment, but won’t be asked to lead because he isn’t needed. If he turns out to be a bad leader, it looks like Josh made a decision based on petty spite and won’t be asked to lead.
Red and Blue prepare for service. They are focused and driven and stuff.
Chef Ramsay calls Aaron to tell him that he is sick. Ah well, it’s not like he’s been there for the last couple weeks anyway. Is there a Possible Future Endorsement deal for Aaron? "I cried my way into the top 10 (out of 12) on Hell’s Kitchen with help from Kleenex!"
Chef gives everyone the pre-service pep talk. Blue is told they will need to unload a shipment of water when it arrives as a part of their punishment. They are already a man down, so this is just rubbing salt in the wound. The guests begin arriving, many of them looking like they walked out of some dreadful 80’s retrospective. Has fashion lost all sense of the original? Do I have nothing to look forward to but an endless rehashing of clothing from decades gone by? As if to mock my pain, Chef calls out an order: "Two risotto, two scallops, one spaghetti, and one mullet!"
Chef rides Rock hard. Rock is sweating into his own eyes, forcing him to wink or blink. I think Chef likes to have someone who can take his crap. He’s enjoying poking at Rock. I bet if he tried that with Josh, Josh would get frazzled. Rock takes it in stride and gets the job done.
Joanna’s risotto is soft and salty. Rock’s is "very nice". Rock starts talking about himself in the third person. Seana wonders if he actually did crack back there and she just didn’t notice.
Jean Philippe needs water, so Chef sends Josh to unload the truck. He stumbles on the stairs - the red-carpeted stairs at the main entrance. You’d think a ritzy place like Hell’s Kitchen would have a delivery entrance, you know, with a loading dock.
Blue is praised for getting their act together.
Bonnie’s scallops are raw. Joanna tastes the spaghetti, which has been made with crab and fails to note that the crab has gone rancid. Chef asks for MaryAnn's opinion. She recoils at the smell. How has Joanna not noticed? Well? She is thrown off her station. Possible Future Endorsement Deal for Joanna: Breath-Right Nose Strips: "Opens up your nasal passages so you can smell rotten meat!"
Blue is harassed over raw eggs. Chef slams the offending egg into Vinnie’s chest. He now has a big yellow egg-mark on his uniform. Rock tries to keep Vinnie from losing his head by pulling him back to his station.
Julia and the nondescript woman have taken over making risotto and spaghetti. Jen (?) tells Julia they have enough spaghetti and tosses the rest out. Then an order for spaghetti comes in. So, Jen goes to the garbage can, takes out the spaghetti on the top, rinses is and puts it BACK IN THE POT. Oh. my. gawd. Possible Future Endorsement Deal for Jen: Glad Anti-Bacterial Kitchen Catchers: "They’re anti-bacterial! You could eat right out of these bags!" Julia has more brains and refuses to serve garbage. Good on her.
Over on the Blue side, Josh is accused of sabotage. Brad, who seems not to be leading at all, burns his Wellington. Chef notices that Brad was going to try serving it anyway and says something that was almost entirely bleeped and blurred. I did catch the word "sideways", though.
Jen’s Wellingtons are overdone. People begin to leave. We are shown Chef Ramsay yelling "Get out!", but we don’t know if this means they had to stop service or if he was just venting. We go to commercial.
Back from commercial, service is over and the chefs are lined up waiting to find out who was the worst. It is Red. 95% of their entrees weren’t served. They are sent back to the dorms to decide who should be on the block.
Red chooses Joanna because of the crab and Julia because they are snobs. Even knowing that Jen took food out of the garbage to serve, they still choose Julia because she doesn’t know fine dining. Like she didn’t save their butts at breakfast or something.
Chef Ramsay asks Red for their nominees. They say Julia and Joanna. Jen says "me". So now Chef is spoiled for choice. Jen explains why she nominated herself. Chef is grossed out. So is Vinnie. Chef asks Julia if she is out of her league. She says no. Chef agrees and sends her back to the line. He mocks Jen for taking pasta out of the bin. Joanna says that maybe she messed up, but she’d never serve something from the trash. Chef cuts in and points out that she would serve rotten crab that belongs in the trash.
Chef tells Joanna she's gone. He ridicules Jen once more. Gosh I’ll never forget her name again.
In voiceover, Chef explains that Joanna is leaving not just for the crab, but for giving up, letting her team down and not being able to handle one individual station.
Her picture is burned.
Next week on Hell’s Kitchen: Melissa can’t tell potato from egg yolk, somebody barfs and Chef Ramsay finally overrules a team’s choice of nominees. Can't wait!