Jake Pavelka was unwilling to grant Ali Fedotowsky's wish that she be allowed to return to The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, however The Bachelor star insists he still has strong feelings for the bachelorette.

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"I will always love Ali and she will always have a great friend in me," wrote Pavelka in his weekly People blog. "But I believe things happen for a reason."

Fedotowsky quit the competition during last week's broadcast to instead keep her job at Facebook. Prior to leaving, she had told Pavelka that she'd be willing to stay if she knew she'd be the bachelorette left standing at the end of the season.

While Pavelka said he couldn't make that promise, he did tell her that she would be receiving a rose that night and would make it to the Final 3 -- which appeared to suggest that Gia Allemand, the woman Pavelka ended up cutting on last night's broadcast, would have been going on on last week's episode.

However that's not the case, according to Pavelka.

"Many speculate that if Ali had not left to go back to work, Gia would have gone home at the Rose Ceremony. This is absolutely not true," Pavelka wrote, suggesting he would have cut Vienna Girardi or Tenley Molzahn, his final two women, instead.

"Fortunately I never had to make that decision," he added.

During last night's episode, Fedotowsky claimed she realized she made a mistake immediately after leaving and was shown calling Pavelka from her home in San Francisco while he was wooing his three remaining bachelorettes in Saint Lucia.

"I was having the most amazing week, really getting to know the women on a much deeper level and then I got the call from Ali. It definitely was not what I was expecting and it broke my heart all over again," wrote Pavelka.

"Everything about me wanted to tell her, 'Come! Come right now!' But she left at a very critical time in this journey."

Pavelka also reiterated comments he made during the episode that he was "forced to close off" his heart to Fedotowsky after she decided to leave.

"I had to in order to move forward with the three women that I had left -- three women that didn't leave and that I was falling in love with," he wrote.

"In order to bring Ali back, I would have had to eliminate two women at the Rose Ceremony and there was no way I could do that. I was in love with Ali and it was truly unfair that she had to make that decision."

In addition, Pavelka offered thoughts on all of his one-on-one dates in Saint Lucia, including the "very serious conversation" he had at dinner with Girardi.

"It may sound silly but I really wanted to know what was with all of her car wrecks and if she really understood the value of a dollar," Pavelka wrote about Girardi's previous mentions of having damaged several vehicles in car accidents.

"I learned that four of the accidents were not her fault. I'm still not sure if anybody should ever let her borrow their car though!"

Pavelka said it was also good to have some time with Molzahn during their Fantasy Suite Date, especially since she initially seemed reluctant to do it since she had only other time she said she previously spent a night with a man was with her ex-husband.

"It was nice to get back to the cozy Fantasy Suite with her. We talked all night long," wrote Pavelka.

Pavelka described the episode's Rose Ceremony as "awful."

"I remember not even wanting to go. I felt very protective over Gia and it made me feel about 2-ft. tall breaking her heart," he wrote.

"There was nothing wrong with her either. And nothing really wrong with us, so telling her goodbye was very painful. I have had so many wonderful moments during this journey and this was definitely not one of them."

While he felt the need to cut Allemand before making his final decision, Pavelka is glad he kept her around as long as he did.

"We always have so much fun together," he wrote about Allemand. "I sometimes think about what a mistake I would have made if I had sent her home that very first night -- which I almost did."
About The Author: Christopher Rocchio

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